A parody.....

THE CHURCH OF THE KEEPING UP hire a Youth Minister.

Place: Church office....Eldership private business meeting Characters: The four Eldership. Time: Sat. evening.

Bro. Eldership #1, "Hello fellow-Eldership. I asked you all to come here this evening so we could discuss an important matter. We are far behind the Baptist in this town and it is costing us our youth. We simply must hire a Youth Minister to keep our youth from going other places for their entertainment. The Baptist Down The Street group hired their Youth Minister several months ago and their Youth number has increased probably double, and I might add, some of our very own are now involved in THEIR activities. So I want to present to you the idea that we simply must do what we can to keep our Youth with us."

Bro. Eldership #2, "It is true that the Baptist have a real "fire-cracker" type Youth Minister. But do we need one? After all, Bro. Bubba does a fine job of teaching our youth in their Bible class."

Bro. Eldership #3, "Well, brethren, lets hear Bro. Eldership #1 out. He has some good points that we need to consider. Yes, Bro. Bubba is a fine Bible teacher but our youth need more. They need someone who can plan the entertainment and take care of the trips that the youth enjoy so much. We have those two fine Church of Christ vans in the parking lot and about the only use we have of them is on Sunday morning when the old people are brought here on Sunday morning from the Old Folks Home."

Bro. Eldership #4, "But shouldn't the youth entertainment be left the the parents? Is that really a work of the Church?"

Bro. Eldership #1, "Bro. Eldership #4, you seem to be hung up in the 50s. The youth today are not like we were when we were young. They are use to entertainment as they spend much time watching T.V. and going to the music concerts that they love so much. I can attest to that with my own teen-age son and daughter. And as far as the parents taking care of the youth's entertainment we can forget that. With most of our parents both work outside the home and are unable to even know what their youth are doing. We will do them a great service as we give their youth a place to spend their time with a fine young man whom we can hire."

Bro. Eldership #2, "But brethren what if the members won't like what we are thinking of doing?'

Bro. Eldership #1, "Well, they agreed to let us run things and if we show a united front on this issue they will not object, I can assure you. Now, let get down to business and vote on this issue, so we can get on with the hiring of a fine young man. All in favor of hiring a Youth Minister raise your hand."

All four raise their hand.

Bro. Eldership #2, "How can we find such a person who will guide our youth?"

Bro. Eldership #3, "That has all been taken care of, brethren. Bro. Salling trains Youth ministers and I have already discuss this with him. He has in mind a young man who made high marks in his training sessions. He comes from a fine family and is someone who is just out of college. He will be someone the youth can relate to. They do not want an older man who will not understand their needs."

Bro. Eldership #4, "Wait, brethren. What is the salary someone like that will expect?"

Bro. Eldership #1, "We can't quibble about that. We will give him what other Youth Ministers are making. Besides a salary we will give him an expense account that will draw him to us. You will be pleased with the young man. I have known his family for years. His father is Eldership #1 at the Great Church on the Hill in Texas. I will call Bro. Salling tonight and finalize the deal. Thank you brethren for your fine cooperation. God is pleased with our work. Lets stop now and have coffee the ladies brought for us. Oh, I almost forgot. Bro. Eldership #2 will you make the announcement in Church tomorrow?"

They all leave the office for the kitchen where refreshments are laid out.

Nelta

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-- Nelta (nib@hal-pc.org), January 26, 2004