My boyfriends younger sister frequently has assaults him. He is 16 and she is 14. Yes, he is bigger than her, but he will only do the bare minimum to defend himself. His sister not only uses her fists, she also uses weapons (she just recently sported a aluminum baseball bat, and before that she cut his face open with the metal handle of a broom). Her violent spoofs happen frequently (at least once-twice a month, sometimes more). She constantly tells him she is going to kill him. There is obviously something wrong with her. She cuts her wrists, and is currently in therapy. But this is no excuse for her behaviour. There is never an excuse for hurting someone. Things that cause her to set off are unavoidable (unless SHE is completely avoided)the last time she started beating him because he was watching tv and she wanted it. His mother is not much help. She doesn't punish her daughter. She refuses to send her away for help. She tells my boyfriend if he DOES call the police, she will kick him out of the house. And she says she'd do the same for him if he was in his sisters place (A load of BS).

Any advice on what to do?

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2003

Answers

Lack of discipline is in itself a form af neglect and abuse. You say the girl is in therapy but also that the mother refuse to send the girl away for help. I take it there is no dad around. Dadss were said to be the cause of violence in families, but this is not the case at all and fatherless families are more violent that fathered ones, in general. I am not sure what protection is available via a domestic violence order but police are unlikely to take his story seriously. If I were your age I would be seeking help from a trusted teacher at school, that is if any kids trust teachers in America anymore. Your school would no doubt have a Social Worker available. If he doesn't go to school, then a trip to police may point you in another direction where he may gbe able to escape this situation. This is something he is going to have to do himself, though your encouragememnt would be beneficial. Good luck.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2003

There is a father somewhat present in their life, albeit only every other weekend. His input is next to none, as he barely sees them.Thank you for your input.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2003