I don't know what to do. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. I am 24 and we have two small children(4&1.He is Very mentally abusive to me and he has increasingly started to hit me quite often. Pulling hair, pushing, slapping, throwing me into walls;I know I need to leave and as hard as he hits me for some reason I never bruise. I want to go to the cops, but I want them to see what he has done. I want a good record of it because I can't divorce him until I am positive that he cannot see my children without it being strictly a supervised visitation. He has threatened to take them and promised I would never see them again. I know alot of men threaten this, but I KNOW he would follow through with it. He was an ex-con and very good at not leaving a paper trail. I don't know how much longer I can live this way. He is an alcoholoic, pothead. The law really isn't fair, when it comes to abused women and the problems that they face when children are involved. The law is set up too easy for men when it comes to "their" rights with the children. Is there any legal way that I can do this? I don't know if I can wait that many years.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2002

Answers

You have got to be kidding that the law is set so that it is too easy to see their children.

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2003

Just ask my law guardian whom I have to pay a $1500 retainer to this week about how much the decks are stacked against males. My STBX wife will not let me see my 2yr old daughter on overnights. When I ask her why, she says "Because, I get to make the decision, not you" So I had to ask the court to allow the Pendant Lite (Childs attorney) get involved, and at considerable financial difficulty. He is acting in my defense to allow me to have overnight visitation with my daughter.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2003

Unfortunately, it has been our experience that the courts do not care about what kind of a father a man is. They feel that any father to a child is better than no father. I have personally been told that even murderers can see their children. Even abusive men get their kids because, social workers say, that just because a man beats up his wife or girlfriend, it does not mean that he will be abusive to his children. My niece's little girl was sexually abused by both her father and grandfather, but he still had overnight and weekend visitation rights. My four year old grandson, after two and one half years, still has to go with his father even though he continually says he doesn't want to, and usually leaves sobbing. His father is now on his third live-in girlfriend in two and one half years, and was charged with domestic abuse with the first girlfriend. None of this makes sense to me.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2003