* on our Serious nasal situation thread

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 03, 2002

Answers

Ó á Á Ï × Ë Ê Ø Ô ë þ ä ü ÿ ï è æ ù é ç ÷ ú ã ø ô â ñ í ê ì ò ç

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 07, 2002.

» ÃÑ º ÃØ § ¤ ÃÑé Ò ÊØ ´ ÇÑ ¹ ·Õè ÊÔ Ë Á ¾Ø ¸ È â à á à Å Í ÂÑ Ã ´Õ Â

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 07, 2002.

Lynskey’s middle initial must surely be ‘Ø’, ‘Ð’, ‘Æ’, ‘þ’, or just conceivably ‘§’.

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 07, 2002.

Mindless Prattle Ultimate Body Armour™ inc. Weathervane & Aqualung.

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 09, 2002.

ñ ï å ä ß á ô ç ò ð è ý é ë Ü ê ô ó þ î ì í õ

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 09, 2002.

˜ ± ¿ Þ ‹ › ¨ ¦ †— ‰ ¥ •

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 12, 2002.

¹ ² ³ ‡ ƒ ½ „ | ª

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 12, 2002.

Is this any less effective than this?

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 12, 2002.

Meanwhile, there’s good news for anyone wishing to follow Mike’s example here. In this age of labour-saving devices, the Web has at last thrown up a mechanism which will write your prattle (or, as it might be, bollocks) automatically.

All you need do is insert a straightforward piece of English into this website, which feeds it through not one but five web translation engines. What comes out at the end makes John Prescott sound positively lucid.

Take (as I just did) the opening lines of Hamlet’s great soliloquy:

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.

After one swift trip through the multiple translation process, those pedestrian lines mutate into purest poesy:

The relative or nao relative, this one is the question: If ' tis more splendid of the alcohol, the one that support and the arrows under him infuriate to him of the marks of the wealth to finish the end to suffer or the arms to satisfy to a sea of the difficulties and the opposition do the examinación to them.

Now that’s more like it. That’s the way they really do talk in the Oxford Anthropology Librarians’ split-level common room and multi- jacuzzi!

So go for it, fun slaves. Which of us ever wanted to do anything constructive?

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 20, 2002.

Meanwhile, there’s good news for anyone wishing to follow Mike’s example here. In this age of labour-saving devices, the Web has at last thrown up a mechanism which will write your prattle (or, as it might be, bollocks) automatically.

All you need do is insert a straightforward piece of English into this website, which feeds it through not one but five web translation engines. What comes out at the end makes John Prescott sound positively lucid.

Take (as I just did) the opening lines of Hamlet’s great soliloquy:

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.

After one swift trip through the multiple translation process, those pedestrian lines mutate into purest poesy:

‘The relative or nao relative, this one is the question: If ' tis more splendid of the alcohol, the one that support and the arrows under him infuriate to him of the marks of the wealth to finish the end to suffer or the arms to satisfy to a sea of the difficulties and the opposition do the examinación to them.’

Now that’s more like it. That’s the way they really do talk in the Oxford Anthropology Librarians’ split-level common room and multi- jacuzzi!

So go for it, fun slaves. Which of us ever wanted to do anything constructive?


-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 20, 2002.

Well, not a girlfriend exactly, but here’s a happy snapshot of me with my wife of twenty years, Iguanadonna.



-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), November 17, 2002.

as OLD as

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), November 20, 2002.

as OLD as

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), November 20, 2002.

as OLD OLD as

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), November 20, 2002.