Dear Joel,

Time has passed. The Lord works in all our lives when we allow him to. Yes, I was very angry, hostile, destructive and all those negative emotions toward you. All those emotions have long since gone as I have ask God for forgiveness for them.They are all self destruct emotions as I have been physically ill because of them. I realized thatI have no control over what anyone else says or does, only myself. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me-----------

Don't it just make your heart melt ?

Forgive Satan herself ?

-- Joel Rosen (JoelnBecky@webtv.net), May 02, 2002

Answers

Joel-----always wanted my MIL to change---but the closest I came to her ever changeing was when her Alzheimers---was really bad & I was her constant care giver for the last several years----& she would tell me/ how she hated her daughter-in-law--(which was me)--- then she would tell me--but you are wonderful---& if I could get rid of my DIL /I would have my son marry you----because you are wonderful!!!! I guess that was as close as I ever came!!!!!! ha! I thought she was satan-herself--ha!-as never knew a woman who could be sooooo mean & nasty-----praise God her Alzheimers made it soo I was able to care for her & not always be soooo terrible!!! ha! Glad your MIL did finally ask for forgiveness----hope you never have to be her constant caregiver for many years-------it certainly taught me patience!!!

-- Sonda in Ks. (sgbruce@birch.net), May 02, 2002.

There's tremendous power in forgiveness.

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), May 02, 2002.

There certainly is great power in forgiveness. What's even cooler is when you have forgiven someone BEFORE they ever ask-then when they do it's like the weight has been lifted from them tremendously. And if they don't ever ask, the weight is off of you:). I think it's great that she asked, and I know how hard it is to forgive when someone has done you serious injury. I was the supreme grudge holder for a very long time....I hope you find it in you to forgive her. I sure wouldn't go trying to be her best friend, though! Time wounds all heels!

-- Doreen (bisquit@here.com), May 02, 2002.

Joel, we have a clear mandate from Christ to forgive, even our enemies. On the other hand, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. There are people whom I have forgiven that I would still not care to have be an active part of my life.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), May 02, 2002.

Amen diane. Leave the past in the past.

-- j.r. guerra in s. tx. (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), May 02, 2002.

the forgivin is easy its the forgeting thats hard. Bob se,ks.

-- Bobco (bobco@kans.com), May 02, 2002.

Sonda, you must have a faith stronger than the apostles ! You also hit on my worst fears (having her stay in my home). She always has an ulterior motive and I must remain on my toes to avoid-- "the fiery darts of the evil one"

It is not for me to judge the prayers of one's heart so I wrote her back. In essence, I forgave her all that was in my power to forgive--the many fiendish acts, the attempt on my life, the nasty words and letters, all forgiven. I also included the things that needed to be done to receive forgiveness from her daughter and grandchildren. I offered her a weekend in Virginia at my expense to begin that process.

Deep, DEEP, in my heart I know that this is a mistake and we will all suffer for our attempt to obey the Lord's Prayer--"forgive us as we forgive those that--" I sincerely wish I had the faith of some of you ! It is quite possible that I have seen too much of the worst in people to ever see the good. Thank you all for your comments.

-- Joel Rosen (JoelnBecky@webtv.net), May 03, 2002.

Faith grows a little at a time(except in some sintuations). And some of us with a lot of faith, fail to find it on some days. When you tell God you're willing to forgive, it won't necssarily happen right away but it will happen. There are some family members that absolutely refused to forgive, they held onto hatred to the end. I believe that's at least part of why they suffered so in their deaths.

Forgetting is hard, and especially hard when the guilty party never apologizes. I think you can tell how much forgiveness there is, by the amount of sarcasm there is left.(Not sure I said that right)

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), May 03, 2002.

I sincerely hope that I didn't sound sarcastic; It was not my intention. Leary, protective, and skeptical--I am all of those !

I had hoped to set an example for Beck's kids---"While you weren't looking I aw you forgive your worst enemy and I realized that forgiveness was the best way in life" I have faced tough decisons in my life--this may be right up there with live or die.

My father told me once that if you love your children than you MUST love the people they love. Those are golden words of wisdom--even if they choke me. My life is so unimportant now--the children-the children must be led in te right direction even if it means that I am uncomfortable !

-- Joel Rosen (JoelnBecky@webtv.net), May 04, 2002.

Joel-------I'm a onery old broad-------the only things nice about me- is when I act as through I DO HAVE Jesus liveing in me-------& somedays my light just flat doesn't shine as well as other times---- ha!

I cared for my MIL over 5 years (with Alzheimers) when none of the rest of her family would have any thing to do with her-------her own daughter called us & said/ ALL OF MOM'S MONEY IS GONE---COME & GET HER!!!!!! So we did---& I was put in the position of careing for her-- --from that day until she dyed----her daughter had spent all her bank account---& then when her Mother died /she got all the live insurance money---which was a big amount---& anything of any worth/ that her Mother owned---- My hubby /her adopted son---did the business--&-things & made the money so we could afford to keep her /as it was not cheap-----my MIL always had told my hubby/ that she adopted him/ so he could care for her when she got old-----I told my hubby/ darn good thing he picked out such a great wife to do the job for him!!!! ha!

Also my MIL asked (before she died)that I have her wedding rings/ as that is all she had left & the daughter(had taken everything else) then the daughter took her rings off her hands from the casket!!!!! (no joke)--

The daughter said /her Mother owed all of that to her-----she was never able to forgive her Mother & thought material things were what would solve everything---

As I said I'm just an onery old broad-------the only way I have any good in me /is through my Lord & Savior Jesus---

I forgave my MIL as I could not have fed her & bathed her & did EVERYTHING for her----as Alzheimers is not a forgiveing disease!! I want you to know with out Jesus -----& the great sense of humor/ God gave me /I could not have done it--or even tried!!!!!!!!!!

If I had not had Jesus in me /I would have shot her & said I think she died!!! ha! (Sorry that is my sicj sense of humor----)ha!

So this onery broad --gives all the Glory & Honor to Jesus!!!! For what I was able to do---to care for her & defend her & protect her & love her---

I forgave ---but this old onery broad didn't forget either!!! ha! I don't think God expects us to forget---just forgive---- larer sonda

-- Sonda in Ks. (sgbruce@birch.net), May 04, 2002.

Somehow, I am richly blessed by that. I must be onery too.

-- Joel Rosen (JoelnBecky@webtv.net), May 04, 2002.

-- Stan (sopal@net-pert.com), May 06, 2002.

Joel -- I know whereof you speak. You, too, Sonda. It IS easy to forgive, but not so easy to forget. I believe in the power of forgiveness, but there is another old saying that is equally true....fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice....well, I'm sure you know the rest.

My momma didn't raise no fools. I'm pretty sure your momma didn't, either, Joel.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), May 07, 2002.