Instead of "Time Out", when your child misbehaves, try this. Sit down with your child at the table and give them 2 pieces of paper and 3 or 4 crayons (not too many colors, limit the choices, this is focus time). Have them draw, as best they can, 1 picture of what they did wrong & 1 picture of what they should have done. Have them explain what the pictures mean. Write down the words for them as they explain to you what they did wrong and what they will do next time. Have them write their name and date on both pictures. Put these treasures into a 3 ring binder, adding to it whenever needed, and save it for many years. Show it to their spouse before they get married. You'll enjoy that part very much!

-- Karen (mountains_mama2@hotmail.com), April 27, 2002

Answers

Do you really want to connect art with punishment in your child's mind?

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), April 27, 2002.

It is not associating art with discipline. It is helping a child, thorugh visuals, to understand what they did wrong and how to handle it differantly the next time.

-- Karen (mountains_mama@hotmail.com), April 27, 2002.

And punishment and discipline are two different things.

-- Bren (wayoutfarm@skybest.com), April 27, 2002.

Ok, it was only an idea! Beginning to be sorry I posted it..LOL!

-- Karen (mountains_mama@hotmail.com), April 27, 2002.

Karen, I'm agreeing with you! Positive discipline can include many different ways of teaching and your idea is very creative, especially for younger children. :o)

-- Bren (wayoutfarm@skybest.com), April 27, 2002.

This is similar to what I do when one child hurts another. I used to spank, but what does that tell them? If you hurt her, I'll hurt you more!! Then I tried this instead; when my son hit his brother near the eye with a stick, I had him draw a picture of his brother crying and his eye hurt. Big deal, right, doesn't seem like it would matter much, but it did! He cried sincere tears of remorse when he drew that picture because, in porder to draw his brother being hurt, he had to imagine what it would feel like, and just how much his actions had hurt his brother.

I don't do this often. In fact, the only time I do it is when one child physically hurts another. I did have some misgivings about using art in this way, but it is not the art that's the punishment, it's having to think about and empathize with the hurt person. Also, I do it in a very matter of fact, non-punishing way, I just sit him down and tell him that he will draw this picture- if the child can write, than I have him write on the picture too. "I hit Nathan with a stick. I am very very sorry." By the time he is done he is more sorry than if I had used physical punishment. And then, we look at the picture together and talk about how much that hurt, and agree that it will not happen again, and end it with a hug. He still loves to draw, by the way. I think this could be overused or misused, but it is extremely effective when you want a child to realize the sort of pain that he just inflicted on somebody, and to feel sorry about it.

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), April 28, 2002.