OK since you all did a geat job with the other thead figured I would throw another one at you .I have a fiend who was divorced in Aug 2001.He started seeing a woman who he says he cannot stop thinking about , they get along great and whenever not together he wants to be with her among other things.Problem is because of other circumstances they could not spend enough time together in his book , along with him being gun shy .She told him she loved him .They broke up and still talk , all the same feeling are there after several months . He started seeing someone else who is trying to control him ,always trying to get him to do what she wants ,Doesn't want him talking to woman 1 {even know they are and will always be friends first }.She has noticed woman 1's phone # on a bill laying on the desk and has a fit when she {1} calls . He wants to keep contact with 1.She on a regular basis says it's over then changes her mind.He does not like being alone and says sometimes things are fine but nothing compared to # 1 .He doesnt want to be alone and hates conflict .I gave him my option , now I want yours . I will tell you mine at the end to avoid tainting the thread. PS I think 1 would go back if sshe was sure of his feelings and a commitement , she still loves him after several months apart . She is giving him time to figure things out .

Please explain to me why a man would do this I do not understand.

-- Patty Gamble (fodfarms@slic.com), April 08, 2002

Answers

Sounds like he wants a "meaningful relationship", but is scared of a "cold bed" to me.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), April 08, 2002.

His troubles are far from over.

-- Jim-mi (hartalteng@voyager.net), April 08, 2002.

Sorry to say this guys but I think he sounds like a typical guy to me. Wants his cake and eat it too! I had a four year with one of these and I wound up getting dumped, but it was for my own good you understand. At least that is how he justified it all.

Sometimes you have to cut your losses and go, knowing when that time is is the hard part.

By the way, this man sounds like someone who NEEDS to spend a LOT of time ALONE so he can know and like himself and get comfortable with who he is. He also sounds like some one who has always gone from the frying pan into fire. He wants mom maybe to take care of him so he doesn't have to be accountable. IMHO

Susan

-- Susan in MN (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), April 08, 2002.

Susan,

Does that mean I'm not "typical"? I can only handle one girl at a time for a serious involvement.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), April 08, 2002.

Sound as though he does not wants to deal with conflict, if the August divorce was a gold mine thing, meaning she got the gold and he got the shaft, then he is not likely to commit again, soon. Some people just feel that they must be in a relationship, known people that have been married 4 and 5 times, even when they knew it wouldn’t work or last, just had to be married.

I agree with Susan, sounds as though he needs to figure out himself first.

-- BC (desertdweller44@yahoo.com), April 08, 2002.

I agree with Susan that he needs to finger out about himself and what does he really wants out of relationship. I weant though that with my x-boyfriend. We were together for three years and I refuse to marry him even though I have his child. I was happy with him. And now we get along better senice we are not togetther. Things do not always go as you plan. Just need to finger out what makes you happy and go with your heart follows. Vanessa

-- Vanessa Collins (cowgirl720@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.

I agree with Susan that he needs to finger out about himself and what does he really wants out of relationship. I went though that with my x-boyfriend. We were together for three years and I refuse to marry him even though I have his child. I wasnt happy with him. And now we get along better senice we are not together. Things do not always go as you plan. Just need to finger out what makes you happy and go with your heart follows. Vanessa

-- Vanessa Collins (cowgirl720@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.