MY WIFE AND WERE MARRIED FOR FIVE MONTHS BEFORE SHE LEFT AND CLAIMED THAT I WAS ABUSING HER. THEN I READ AN ARTICLE IN THE MORGAN COUNTY HERALD. IN THIS ARTICLE IT SAID SOME SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE IN A DOMESTICALLY VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP WERE: KEEPING YOU FROM SEEING FRIENDS, KEEPING YOU FROM SEEING YOUR FAMILY, TELLING YOU ARE NOT WORTH ANYTHING, CALLING YOU NAMES, AND TELLING YOU THEY WILL KILL YOU. WELL MY PROBLEM IS I WAS IN THIS SITUATION AND NOW I HAVE BEEN FILED FOR AGAINST THIS PROBLEM. SHE TOLD THE POLICE THAT I SLAPPED HER AND TOLD THEM THAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO KILL HER AND THROW MY SON OUT THE WINDOW OF OUR TWO STORY APARTMENT. I HAVE GOTTEN A LAWYER AND AM FIGHTING THE BEST I CAN, BUT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM AROUND HERE IN WASHINGTON COUNTY, OHIO SEEMS TO BE ON THE SIDE OF THE WOMAN ALL THE TIME. I ONLY GET TO SEE MY SON FOR A HALF HOUR A WEEK AND MY PARENTS HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE HE WAS BORN, BECAUSE SHE LEFT TWO WEEKS AFTER HE WAS BORN. THEY EVEN TRIED TO GET ME TO PLEAD GUILTY, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO EVEDENCE AND SHE NEVER HAD ANY BRUISES OR OTHER SIGNS OF INJURY. I DID BUT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SHE USED TO COME IN AND SHAKE ME VERY VIOLENTLY TO WAKE ME UP IN THE MORNING AND EVEN THOUGH I SHOWED HER THE BRUISES SHE LEFT ON MY ARM FROM WHERE SHE SHOOK ME SHE TOLD ME IT WAS JUST MY IMAGINATION. THEN ONE DAY I TRIED TO LEAVE TO GO TO WORK AND SHE BLOCKED THE DOOR TO OUR APARTMENT AND WOULDN'T LET ME OUT. I PICKED HER UP HUGGED HER AND TURNED AROUND AND SET HER DOWN TOLD HER I LOVED HER AND WENT TO LEAVE AND SHE GRABBED MY SHIRT AND STARTED PUNCHING ME IN MY RIBS. WELL MY ORIGNAL AND ONLY QUESTION IS NOW THAT I HAVE THESE CLAIMS AGAINST ME WHAT DO I DO OTHER THAN WHAT I HAVE ALREADY DONE? IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO? WITH EVE IN THIS AREA SO FAR I HAVE BEEN GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2002

Answers

Hi: I've always regretted not suing my wife. My situation was not unlike yours. I don't know how the law works in your area of the world but I would look into suing her for slander (or whatever it's called) as well as asault. Check to see if you can do it yourself in small claims court (or even regular court). When I went through the same thing with my wife, my lawyer said that the only person that I could sue in the matter was her. Good luck.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2002

Hi, Dan. First off, make sure you keep a journal (to the best of your ability) of the abuse you have suffered. I know it's not fair, but a backround check on her may also be a good investment. Also, talk with her physician, if you have access, about the possibility of Post Natal Stress Disorder. It sounds like that may be a very real threat since she left so soon after delivery. This is VERY COMMON! Even if her doctor won't speak with you, use another doctor you are comfortable with. Bear in mind also that Post Natal Stress can be FATAL to your child! Recent mother instigated killings can, and should, be used to bolster your case. Custody may be something you would want to consider if this is the case. Either way, if this is your child, you would certainly want to be assured that whoever has custody would be the BEST parent for the child. That doesn't mean the most convenient, but the best. I don't know you, or your situation, but I do know what I am speaking about. PLEASE, for the sake of your child, be sure about where both of your emotional status' is at. Sometimes, Dads make WAY BETTER PARENTS! Sometimes, Dad's and Mom's turn it into a power struggle. Whatever is best for the CHILD should be the route to go, no matter how painful or difficult the road ahead may be. Best of luck...Judy

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002