Did anyone follow the National Geographic shows about their search for the Afghan girl whom they had photograghed for their cover about 17 yrs. ago? I did. I tend to not pay much attention to the news and what goes on around the world. I guess it's the old head in the sand syndrome. but any way I was amazed by the technology which is available to absolutely identify someone.

In a less enthusiastic way I was amazed by the behavior of the women in that country. They were so shy to reveal their faces even with their husband's permission. And I don't recall ever seeing a smile.

When they finally found this woman who had been photographed so many years ago as a child, she expressed her wish for our country to help the girls and women of her country to get an education. I was touched by her and can genuinely say that I wanted to help. But then I get suspicious and think that maybe it's just what they told her to say. And then I think that there are so many in this country who need help. How do you decide? They are all deserving of help!

I thought it was a very interesting story. Anyone else?

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

Answers

Here are a couple of links to what Denise is talking about. It is amazing how many people recognize that cover from National Geo. How many other of their covers are so widely known?

NPR link

National Geo link

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

In National Geographic, they had the whole story. She didn't smile because she is not allowed to smile at men other then her husband. She looks so much older then her 30(?) years. I think the women there are so repressed. She believes that the robe she wears to cover her from head to foot is beautiful. At least she wants better for her two younger daughters (it's too late for the older one they said)

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

Having been a subscriber to Nat. Geographic for like...forever...I thought it was amazing that they found this girl/woman after so long. Many of the women in that country have very short lifespans! I'm looking at both issues sitting here in front of me. Hard to believe that it's been that long since the '85 picture!! Now I feel really old :-)!

Speaking of women's issues in countries like this...in either Arabia or maybe Ethiopia (can't remember where it was!) the women aren't allowed to drive vehicles...and yet are STILL blamed for over 50% of the vehicular accidents!! Authorities say the women are a "distraction", whether they're walking down the street or in the back seat of the car. So this "causes" the male drivers to have accidents. Go figure!!!!

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

I only watched the show. I didn't realize they weren't ALLOWED to smile either. It seems like you would have always be worried about making a mistake or something.

In reference to women being the cause for so many accidents: Does Islam have the same or similar story to the Christian Adam and Eve story? I guess what I am getting at is from what perspective do they come from in blaming women for so much to the point that they must be so subdued, guarded, and restricted in so many ways? What are they afraid might happen if women were ALLOWED to be themselves and have an education?

And how do you decide who to help in situations like these? Im sort of thinking that at least the people in this country who need help have at least some resources to turn too. I'm not sure if they have any at all in Afghanistan. Or maybe they do. I don't really know.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

I know practically nothing about the Islamic religion (and very little about Adam and Eve), but I can't even begin to understand why it is that some men, no matter what their religion, treat women the way they do and ALSO...why some women feel that's the way it should be! I think most women are more than willing to admit the male superiority when it comes to strength. Heck! I'd MUCH rather let my hubby lug my 50 lb. bags of grain...even though I can do myself :-)!! But I think that's where the difference should end! Maybe we should get a male opinion from someone out there!!?? Please tell us why some men feel the need to dominate and control "their" women???

It's tough trying to decide who to help in these situations. Look at the women in our own country! I think I'd much rather donate my money to a local women's shelter than send it overseas and not know whether it gets used for it's intended purpose!! Same thing for homeless people. I think we have to "clean" up our own backyards before we can help everyone else!! I remember watching a show on Oprah once about female circumsicion (sp.?). I specifically sent money to one of the organizations mentioned on the show and found out later that the money had been intercepted and went for some other "project"!! Just can't be sure about what you send overseas, I guess. And that's really too bad!!!

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

Tradition and culture have much to do with that problem. Not all of Islam feels that way any more than does all of Christendom. What we see in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan under the Taliban approaches the worst. Islam is a younger faith than Christianity and they're still committing some of the excesses that we committed in centuries past. Much of these attitudes spring from common roots in Christianity, Islam and Judaism.

After the recent girl's school fire in Saudi Arabia we might just get to see their religious police get their wings clipped a bit. I certainly hope so. If my daughter had been in that school I wouldn't have cared how many of them there were with walking sticks if I had an automobile. I'd simply have ground them into the pavement as I was on my way into the school.

Of course, I don't like theocracy's anyways no matter what faith it professes to follow.

.......Alan.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

Marcia, I'll give that "man dominiation reason" bit a go, from MY perspective.

I saw a lot of my friends in high school try and dominate their girl friends. Some of the girls liked it (Ohhh, he's so MASCULINE!!), others told the boy to bug off.

I think one reason some men try to dominate their women is that those men feel so helpless in feeling dominated by powers over them. "The government opporesses me . . . my parents oppresses me . . . my boss oppresses me. Therefore, I will oppress my wife and everything will be fine; I will be in control of MY house!". Some women go along with it; maybe they agree with being ordered around, or maybe they just feel the resulting fights aren't worth it. Either way, if the women allow themselves to be dominated, they are part of the problem.

As Bill Cosby noted in a comedy narrative, " . . . I've seen what the job entailing being 'man of the house' is - and I DON'T WANT IT" pretty well fits my role in our household. Both of us make the rules pretty much as we go. Rule #1: Don't willingly p*** off your partner. Respect each other. Listen to what each other has to say.

Works for us.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

j.r...I think that respect should be the #1 rule of any relationship...no matter what each other's "role" is in that relationship. I'll always remember what my mother said to me once right after I was married. She told me to never have my husband introduce me as "his wife, Marcia". The intro SHOULD be "Marcia, my wife". And visa versa for me. She felt that showed more respect for me...as a person...not just as Harry's wife!!

I know that the fear factor dominates most of these situations where the women allow themselves to be controlled and abused by men. And not just fear for themselves, but fear for their children and other family members!!

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

We lived in an apartment for a short time while looking for our farm. This part of town was mostly Indian (Middle East)decent. My son's kindergarten class had a special teacher to teach in their language. Anyway, one mother told us that when she was coaching little league, one such child told her that he didn't have to listen to her because she was a woman. See, the attitude is ingrained into them at a young age. I guess it's all what you are raised with.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002