HI I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 31 YEARS.I HAVE 3 GROWN CHILDREN.I KNOW THIS SOUNDS DUMB BUT IS MY HUSBAND ABUSEING ME.HERE IS WHAT IS BROTHERING ME I HAVE BEEN VERY SICK FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS I MEAN SO SICK YOU WISH GOD WOULD TAKE YOU HOME.I DONT WORK I HAVE A VERY BAD LUNG PROBLEM.WILL MY HUSBAND NEVER ONCE ASK ME IF I NEEDED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR ARE IF I NEEDED MONEY TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.MY BEST FRIEND TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR AND PAID FOR IT AND THE DRUG STORE BILL TOO.ARE TRASH STAYED IN THE HOUSE FOR 7 DAYS BEFORE I TOOK IT OUT.HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESNT CARE WHAT DO YOU THINK.

-- Anonymous, March 05, 2002

Answers

Hello Mrs Price, I hope you are feeling better. I think the best way to decide whether or not your husband is abusing you is to compare his actions to ones of the past. Abuse doesn't usually appear out of nowhere, and if you have been married for 31 years, then any patterns should be evident by now. Does he have a history of using money to control you or otherwise use means to keep you dependant? If this doesn't seem right, then explore other options. Maybe he is depressed or overwhelmed at the prospect of taking care of you when you are so sick, or even the thought of losing you. There is also the issue of demetia or alzheimers. Regardless, I think it is time to rely on your friends and yourself to get back on your feet. When you are strong again, look into this and hopefully prevent the situation from happening again. Take care, Toni

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002

In the many many years I have dealt with domestic violence (I am a survivor and I have written extensive articles on this subject for nearly 23 years) I have learned that if you question yourself thinking there may be some sort of abuse, then there usually is.

Mental abuse can be far more damaging and degrading than physical abuse.

When you are feeling better physically, please think through your situation thoroughly. Does your husband routinely ignore your needs? Has he been having health problems of his own? Is this a change from his usual behavior or does his usually act this way?

There is likely a domestic violence and abuse hot line listed in your phone book. If not the sheriff's dept or other local law enforcement can probably give you one. Call and talk to someone.

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002

The best wey... hire someone to change his wey of thinking, this is my job but I'm to far a wey from there soo find someone who don't charge it or he's not to expencive.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2002