O.K. I have been told that I need to dress up everyday!. I take a shower and have on clean clothes( usually jeans or sweats), I don't "do" my hair but it is clean and combed(somewhat).I do not wear makeup( I run a small daycare out of my home and homeschool along with everything else, what do the kids care). I have started wearing my shoes, like the fly lady suggested, but wanted to know if you guys do up daily? Am I lazy, as everyone is implying or am I being practical? What do you do?

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), January 04, 2002

Answers

Personally I don't care for sweatpants, I always feel sort of undressed in them. I always showere and fix my hair, nothing elaborate usually pulled back with a hair band. I don't always wear make-up, but usually just lip gloss. I would say you are pretty close to normal as far as I am concerned. You never know what the day might bring, and I like to be able to dig in and work if need be!

Now as an aside to this question, I was in Aldi's today. It was absolutely packed, and I think at least half of the people I saw there were in serious need of showeres. It just smelled awful. I don't mind older clothes, but these were filthy and smelly. I just don't understand not caring at all about how you look. I usually am always in jeans, but they are clean, my hair, hands, and fingernails are clean. AND I SMELL GOOD!!!!!

Sorry! and I am not at all predjudice against people who are a little dirty, but you can tell the difference between someone who might have run in after work to pick up a few things, and dirt that has been around for a few months...

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 04, 2002.

Micheale, sounds like you're just being practical! I live in jeans, and most of the time, the work boots right along with em. The boots are the only thing that keep me in an upright position on this hill. I very, very seldom wear makeup. I went shopping with my mom one day and wore a little makeup, she commented that I had it on and should wear it more often. Yea right. Like I'm going to get all dressed up to shovel compost on the garden!? :)

-- Annie (mistletoe6@earthlink.net), January 04, 2002.

I am trying to do the flylady thing too, and I don't know how those shoes are going to "fly" in the summer, I hate them! I confess to not wearing "real" shoes if I know I'm not going to be leaving the house, but wearing those little ballet-slipper type houseshoes to keep my socks clean (I wear socks out at an alarming rate).

I almost always wear jeans, but instead of sweatpants I have found a nice inexpensive and simple wide-leg elastic waist slacks pattern that does well for knits. Even better than jeans (stretchy and easy to work in), and looks better than your sweats! I have been trying to wear my sweaters and flannel-shirt-over-t-shirt instead of sweatshirts, and put on just a little makeup. My eyelashes are really long, but blondish-red and you can't see them, so I try to wear mascara, and at least a lip gloss to keep my lips from being so dry and chapped. I don't know how that mascara is going to fly in the garden, either, when I start sweating!

Like Melissa, my hair is always clean, but since it's long and without bangs, usually pulled back. I would wear it in a bun every day, but Lance REALLY hates it. Generally I save the bun for tough cleaning day, and wear a french braid or ponytail most of the time unless I'm just running errands all day. I do try to wear it down sometimes, especially if I'm going to dinner or something!

All in all, you sound pretty normal to me, Micheale, and there's no way I would want my hair flying around, or to be wearing dry-clean only clothes or hard-soled shoes around little baby hands and feet that are always right under yours! I think you are being pretty practical. (my not-always-so-humble opinion, of course!)

-- Christine in OK (cljford@aol.com), January 05, 2002.

I shower everyday, my hair is clean shiny and long, I pull it back when necessary, wear clean sweats most everyday an occasional skirt or jeans, never ever wear makeup, shoes cause the floor is cold, have almost no jewelry. June Cleaver, I'm not. Be yourself!

-- Cindy (SE. IN) (atilrthehony@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

While I'm clean and my hair is washed, I dress in really old clothes around the house. It seems when I get close to the kitchen I end up wearing some stain on them. My hair is usually held back with an elastic type thingie cause I hate to have loose hair when I'm preparing food. Make-up...nope, as I want to keep my skin as clean as possible. Of course, I'm alone for the day. Years ago, when I ran a child care business, I tried to dress better and wore some makeup. I figured that , if I looked a mess for my clients, they'd wonder what I did all day.

-- Ardie /WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

Just an observation, but women seem to dress nicely and take care about their appearance until the first wedding anniversary. Then, I guess they have no more need and let their appearance go to pot.

You wonder if people even look in the mirror before they leave the house and think what image they are projecting to the world. YES, appearance and image matters. Someone you run into in Wal Mart today may be your banker tomorrow... or a future significant other... or an employer.

-- Rose (open_rose@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

I also kind of think a big SMILE goes a long way towards improving your appearance! I like to approach life with simplicity, sinceritey and calmness.

Just a little story. You know I do a great deal of volunteer work. Well last spring we were having a big chicken dinner at our community center. We ended up serving several hundred dinners,and you know that is a lot of work. Well I had helped out the evening before but on Saturday afternoon I didn't go to help until about 4:00.

I was dressed in my customary way. blue button up shirt, jeans, hair pulled back in a hair band, and very light make-up. When I arrived it was mostly chaos. I am the type that when there is work to do I do whatever they tell me to. Doesn't matter if it is cleaning bathrooms or peeling potatoes. I am not picky and I never complain.

So I saw the director of our center in the midst of all this commotion, I walked up to her and asked what I could do. She stopped and looked at me and said "You look so beautiful today!" I started laughing and then she really put me to work!!!

She is an older lady and that is the way they talk. But I don't think she was really re-acting to my physical looks, but to my inner spirit!! Beauty of your heart has a way of bursting out whether you are in rags or riches. Just my opinion, and for the record I am not all that beautiful, pretty plain actually!

So Micheale, I would wear whatever you are comfortable in around the house, with an effort towards neatness as much as possible, andIwouldn't wory too much about what people think.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 05, 2002.

Rose: I said I would never come back to this channel but today I just happen to put it on and read Melissa's item......You are very right when it comes to woman after they get married just let themselfes go to pot or fat or what ever you want to call it...I have never seen so many fat women as in the last ten years and I think it is discusting to see a girl or lady with such a beautiful face and look like a pig. When men get married they should make their wifes sign a pact saying they won't get over 115lbs or it is grounds for divorce...Radar

-- Robert (snuffy@1st.net), January 05, 2002.

Oh Robert, is your foot comfortable in your mouth?? LOL!!!!

If that were true, men would have to sign a contract NOT to be over- weight, have a five-o-clock shadow, dirty fingernails, body odor or bad breath.

If you're wondering...I'm teasing you!

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

I will overlook the insinuation that women who might gain a few pounds are pigs, and I will admit that I have gained a few pounds since I got married. However I wonder how many men still have the same svelte figure they had when they first got married!!!!

Anyone who places committment to a marriage in line with the marriage partners weight, does not understand the true meaning of committment. I often like to tell my mother and grandmother about some of these threads. I can't wait to print this one out and show it to everyone!! I personally haven't weighesd 115 pounds anytime on my recent memory!!! I do know when I was in High school I weighed about 135 pounds, and that was nice for me. But I digress.

There are many men who are very concerned with the weight of their wives, and others who love their wives and families, for better or for worse! That is the way God intended it!

I believe Micheales question was about clothing and general appearance, so I am sorry to get off on this tangent but I felt this comment certainly needed commenting on and does not really fit in with the thread.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 05, 2002.

And, when man marries, he best not go bald either! (Giggle!!!!)

-- Ardie /WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

Gee, I was heavy when we got married, I guess not all men like skinny women. If I weighed 115 pounds, they'd put most of us in the hospital to fatten us up.

If you can't be yourself, then who are you supposed to be?

-- Cindy (SE. IN) (atilrthehony@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

I si ncerely apoligize if I offended anyone that was not my intention. What I was refering to was how women have let themselfs go and not women who are big boned and come from a family that is heavy...Now you know why I will never come back.....Don't everyone cheer at once

-- Robert (snuffy@1st.net), January 05, 2002.

Well, lets see. First I brush my "original equipment" teeth, start heatin the bathwater over the woodfire in the iron kettle in the back yard. Dig out my straight razor and lye soap. A clean pair of bib's, socks and blue chamboris shirt. Oh wait--I'm talkin about Saturday mornins in the summertime. Well--rekon ya'lls'll have to overlook this old hillbilly from the sticks of IL.

Wintertime things used to get kinda aromatic in the olden days before indoor plumbin and gas water heaters. In spite of all this modern "progress" some things ought not ever be forgotten or experienced-- by smell or vision!!!

old hoot, my hair is still black and kinda clean, gibson. Matt.24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), January 05, 2002.

Okay, for a really off question. Why is Radar not ever coming back? I must have missed something somewhere. Just to this thread, or to the forum entirely? I don't really agree with what he had to say here, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to express his opinion, as long as he doesn't mind me expressing mine!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@aol.com), January 05, 2002.

I feel cleanliness and neatness go a long way. Since I am at home at least 85% of the time, I wear a clean pair of jeans and clean shirt but I must confess I also do the ballerina slipper thing in the house. I use to wear sweats in the winter till my husband expressed displeasure in them so I now wear jeans. I wear jeans with an elastic waist around the house for comfort and I have "dress" jeans when I am going someplace where they would be appropriate such as to Wally World. I no longer wear make up but I do get my hair cut every 4 to 6 weeks and keep it neat. In the summer I have been known to wear a dress around the house, just a loose fitting comfortable dress. I don't find that as practical for working outside but they sure are comfortable. I don't wear an "old ladies" style house dress even though I'm old! I usually wear a simple empire waist with a longish gathered skirt that I make myself. I do feel rather feminine in that! I guess that is probably my favorite thing to wear and I would say my husbands too (for me to wear, not him!!!) It's just a little "breezy" outside in the winter!

-- Barb in Ky. (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), January 05, 2002.

Since I wear sweats for pyjamas in winter, I try not to wear them during the day unless I'm sick. I generally wear skirts or jumpers since I don't wear pants, but they are usually jean skirts and denim jumpers. That way, any shirt I pull out of the drawer matches:o) I try to comb my hair first thing in the morning and tie it back in a braid down my back. I like buns, but they give me a headache. Clothes are generally clean and neat, mended when necessary, and serviceable. I am NOT a frills and lace person! I wear an apron a lot, and only have to take that off usually, if I need to make an unexpected trip to town.

I am generally barefoot until frost; after that I go with socks inside and slip-on chore boots outside. I try not to stink, but after a day digging in the garden, let me get to the shower before you come too close:o)

I am not too impressed with people who "dress down" too far in public. I understand the working man who just got off work and is picking something up on his way home, but I see no excuse for women going shopping with ratty clothes on and dirty-faced kids in tow! What I have noticed is that these women are more likely to be the ones using food stamps. I am also not real impressed with heavier women wearing skin-tight shorts that seem to emphasize every bulge.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), January 05, 2002.

I hit submit just as I realized that I ought to clarify my "food stamps" statement. I believe that came out rather derrogatory, and I am really sorry about that! I did not mean to imply that all people on food stamps are slobs, or vice versa. I do think that EVERYONE can look clean and neat, no matter what their income level is. All those kids really need is a little soap and water, a hankie, and a comb to look clean and neat.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), January 05, 2002.

I jump out of bed and put on yesterday's work clothes for feeding the animals. Then after the kids get off to school I shower and put on fresh work clothes (Jeans, tshirt and maybe a flannel shirt with apocket)This give me five pockets for putting small stuff in that I find cleaning and to keep a pen and piece of scratch paper for making notes of things I think of like for the shopping list or to do list-- makes me more efficient.

I do dress up a little (jeans skirt or jumper) and makeup for trips into town but that is because the line of business my husband is in-- his clients might not choose my husband for this service if they think he is not successful. I mean, he does well, but we don't live extravagantly--just frugally. So I don't like to look as if we can't pay the bills, you know (?) in my ripped work clothes that I use in the barn.

Unfortunately I am one of those people for whom makeup was made for-- it does make the difference so I use it when going out.

-- Ann Markson (tngreenacres@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

I don't know why Radar isn't coming back either. Oh well!

Today we went to the city to shop and I made an effort to observe people in general. You know, I never realized it but, some people go out in public looking really awful! I wonder if it has something to do with lack of self pride. It's sad.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 05, 2002.

First who is telling you to dress up? Sounds like your the daycare owner so who made the suggestion. You may also need to define dressed up. For some that could only mean a suit for a guy and dress for a lady. My wife ran a daycare for many years out of our home and comfort and washability was the main concern for her. Jeans were the norm. I see shoes as a requirement for any business but comfort should be the key is any dress up.

-- Gary (gws@columbus.rr.com), January 05, 2002.

First, I must clarify that I come from the last generation to wear gloves when going out in public....I wear dresses or skirts in public only because it has always been my belief that women look better in dresses VS jeans or slacks..there are few gals who have the figures for jeans IMHO....I am stuck on the old=fashioned "ladylike" concepts......I don't wear makeup..never have...and I credit the lack of make up with folks thinking I was in my 20s when I was 40 something! (those grand days are gone now hee hee hee)..I think clean and neat and feminine goes a long long way out in public..at home, I love my sweatpants, turtleneck and huge flannel shirts, but if I felt a heart attack coming on, I would change my cloths before calling 911...LOL LOL LOL..as far as ladies "letting themselves go", well some do you know and that's a shame, yet i think most of us who sport that adipose tissue in prominent places earned it from childbearing and advancing age...I never met a woman who loved her husband less for having a bald head, bulging tummy, and wrinkles here and there..my husband told me the other day that "to me, you are as beautiful as the day I met you and you will always be so in my eyes because you are the love of my life." Now THAT's true love my friends.

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), January 05, 2002.

I had to jump in on this one because I can relate to so many things that were said! and to answer the last posts question, Micheale has joined the Flylady email list for organizing and cleaning. Flylady suggests we dress up each morning, put on makeup, shoes, etc, that way we feel better about ourselves (Fly = Finally Loving Yourself). That said, don't we feel better about ourselves when we look good?

I do try to look nice in the mornings. First thing after the potty break is to comb hair, and get dressed and sometimes put on shoes. No makeup unless I'm going someplace special. I used to drive my hubby nuts when we first got together because I would NEVER leave the house without applying/checking my makeup. He obviously prefers the natural look!

As far as changing after marriage, I think its pretty common. Yes, I gained some weight since I've been married, partially due to having a baby and medical problems, but probably mostly because I COOK and BAKE a lot more now! LOL!

And in the same sense, hubby has gained a lot of weight in the last five years (over 50 lbs!), hates to shave and has more cases of flatulence now than he ever has! LOL! I pick on him because of that last one! He would have never passed gas near me when we were dating, but now that we are married, he makes our dog jump out of bed when he lets one pass!

Point is, we all change. Whether it be marriage or just plain age - with age come common sense! You've got to be kidding me if I'm going to spend a fortune on makeup to wear everyday! I have better places to stick that money - like hay for the horses or seeds for the garden.

-- Lisa in WI (llehman16@hotmail.com), January 06, 2002.

I agree with a lot of what everyone had to say here. A daycare is no place to be wearing evening gowns, LOL. Jeans & sweats would seem to be in order here. The main thing is being neat and CLEAN. Makeup is a personal issue, some like it, some don't, and some can't wear it regardless due to allergies. I do hate to see people go to town dirty and disheveled, unless they are obviously on their way home from work. I don't usually have much trouble telling if that is the case or if the person has lived in those same clothes and forgotten to take a bath for 6 months. (phew!) I do think it's a shame when people (male or female) let themselves go after marriage, but honestly, we do all change. Speaking for myself, I've been skinny all my life, till I developed thyroid disease a few years ago and started adding some pounds. Despite exercise as hard as my body can tolerate, and even dropping my fats and calories down to near starvation levels for months on end, the pounds refuse to budge. Very aggravating but I am finally learning to accept the fact. But even those with weight problems can be clean, neatly dressed and well groomed. I only have a problem when people let themselves get slovenly.

As for my own wardrobe, I have 3, the Good, the Not-so-good, and the Ugly. We don't socialize much and I work at home, so I keep one or 2 nice dresses for special occasions, along with several nice skirts and blouses/sweaters and a 2-3 pair of nice slacks for church, doctor appointments, the rare business meeting, etc. My main style of dress around home or when I go to town, is jeans. Depending on circumstances, I will wear "comfortable" blue jeans with a t-shirt or denim shirt, or perhaps a pair of black jeans with a nice top. Then there's my chore clothes, which are OLD jeans and OLD shirts and OLD coats (with stains, tears, etc), usually scrounged out of the thrift stores. These are the clothes I prefer not to be caught in, VBG. But like your day care kids, my goats and horses haven't complained yet. I do try to always change when I get back in the house, or when I know someone's coming over. If someone shows up without warning, well, that's their problem if they don't like my attire.

I do try to always comb my hair and put on a minimal amount of makeup first thing in the morning, and check my hair, etc. before dh comes home for lunch and just before he gets home from work. I save the full makeup/hair routine for special occasions. My hair is naturally curly, so trying to do a lot with it is fighting a losing battle anyway. :(

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 06, 2002.

Although I mentioned that I like to dress up a bit and wear makeup before going in to town.... I wanted to add that I don't notice how others look or what they are wearing or even if they are dirty. Just doesn't interest me.

When I moved to a rural area I became accustomed to farm people shopping in their overalls and farm clothes and I understand entirely why they do it (in some cases) because it wastes a good bit of time to change, wash up, go shopping and then change again when you have so much to do. It's really hard to make a living on a farm and every minute counts.

And it's not their job to make other's happy by their dress or faces.

Michaele--I say do what is comfortable for you. All the make up and clothes in the world will not make you a good childcare provider. Being nice and patient will.

-- Ann Markson (tngreenacres@hotmail.com), January 06, 2002.

Oh Ann, I know it is probaly not good of me to even notice such thngs, and I felt kind of bad after I wrote that at the top of this thread. But I stood in line at Aldi's for about 25 minutes, and I do belive the smell was worse than what the people looked like! I am trying to have a good outlook on life and maintain a positive attitude. I will have to start carrying a scented hankey, and then blow my nose a lot!

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 06, 2002.

I live in a rural area and I know what barn smells are. I don't mind those smells on a person at all in a store. What really gets to me is plain dirty body smell and oddly enough, I smell that in city stores more tha country ones.

-- Ardie /WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 06, 2002.

Living in a logging/ranching community, I guess I automatically grouped farmers in with the "on the way home from work" group, since they are almost always working. :) I am not above dashing to the store with less than perfect clothes when necessary, and it bothers me not at all to see a millworker who's very dirty after a long hard day at work shopping at the grocery store. Or a guy who is covered in grease and dirt who is obviously taking a break from his backyard mechanics job. I don't usually pay much attention to what others are wearing....only when they are terribly slovenly or the smell (many days of unwashed-body odors) make it impossible to NOT notice. When my dh comes in from a day of fixing fences, cleaning barns and working on the tractor, he is by no means either clean or odor-free, but it's a very different odor than poor hygiene.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 06, 2002.

This is a little off topic, but why does the flylady say you should wear shoes at home? I have to because my legs are different lengths and I have to compensate with a lift in one shoe, but I hate it! I would love to run around barefoot all the time!!!

I stay clean, dress in clean clothes that are in good repair, and since I don't have to look at me often, my next priority is to dress for comfort. I work on a farm and farm when I play, so I'm rarely caught in make-up or any clothes that can't take the beating I give them. I have to admit, when I'm in the garden you are just as likely to catch me in a dress as shorts or jeans.

Life is too short to spend your time trying to impress other people. If they aren't impressed by me when I am just being myself, then I'd rather they simply stay unimpressed! The only person who truly needs to be impressed by my looks is my husband and he loves me just the way I am.

I do try to take care of myself. I've already started working on my 10 lbs. of winter weight that seems to set in as an annual event at at Christmas time. Since heart disease runs rampant in my family, I try to stay at a reasonable weight to stay alive!

I guess I worry more about how I feel about myself as opposed to how other people feel about me. As long as I'm happy, they either accept what I am or not. If not, it's their loss!

-- sheryl in Me (radams@sacoriver.net), January 06, 2002.

The flylady concept is about becoming more organized and efficient in your home and your everyday life.she feels that rising in the morning, getting completely dressed to the shoes, makes you better prepared to face the day. I must admit that I get a lot more done if I do this. If I run around in my nightclothes and slippers, it makes me feel a little lazy. So I usually hit the shower first thing (usually kind of cold, so that wakes you up quick) then I dress to the shoes. This way if I need to run outside or any other little thing pops up, like the chickens are in the front yard, you are ready to deal with it. And around here usually something comes up!!!

here is the site: www.flylady.net

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 07, 2002.