I thought some of you might perhaps identify with this email that I recently sent to one of my friends who was kind enough to give me some peppers so that I could make some salsa. Having never used fresh peppers before, it made for an educational experience... *********************************************** Andy,

Thanks for the bag of Habaneros and other deadly peppers. I tried to make some salsa last night with them, but had a bit of misadventure in the process.

I had decided to puree the peppers in our blender, along with some tomatoes. I don't like the seeds, however, so I started cutting the peppers open and scraping the seeds out with my thumbnail. I'd then throw the little pepper carcass into the blender. I was just getting the blender full when the phone rang. Before I ran to answer it, I hit the "high" button on the blender. It made a loud "YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" noise and the concoction of peppers and tomatoes erupted from the uncovered blender and covered our kitchen just as I was saying "Son of a!!... Hello?" in my friendliest voice. It was my Aunt-in-law, who has been talking about investing some money with me. She had some questions for me about the current state of the market and whether or not this would be a good time to invest. About this time I noticed a sensation on the end of my thumb like a paper cut bathed in battery acid. "Ow, Hot! Hot!" I shouted without thinking. "It is?" my Aunt-in-Law exclaimed, "Maybe I should invest more than I had originally planned!"

I had instinctively stuck my thumb in my mouth to quell the burning sensation. Immediately, intense pain spread to my lips and tongue. "Mmburmmf mumfigger!" was all I was able to stammer into the phone as my sinuses began to flush. It tasted like someone had ignited a tomato flambe on my tongue. I hurriedly ended the phone call as tried to wipe the tears out of my eyes, spreading the pepper oil into both of them, causing me to begin seeing dead relatives and speaking in tongues. It felt like someone had napalmed my head. I struck blindly out in the direction of the freezer, planning to stick my head in it, when I stepped on what was determined later to be a cast iron figure of "hopper" the mean grasshopper from "Bug's life". My wife says she heard a scream that sounded like a teeny bopper at a Hanson concert. I don't remember, though, because I think I was having an out of body experience. Connie came into the kitchen and found me, dancing on one foot and yelling like a pre-pubescent howler monkey.

She did what she always does in situations like this. She put some ice in a washcloth, handed it to me, rolled her eyes and went back to her game of solitaire.

What a woman.

Thanks again for the peppers. I was able to salvage a little of the salsa, and it turned out pretty good after all!

Chuck *************************************

-- Chuck (woah@mission4me.com), December 29, 2001

Answers

Chuck, that was hysterical!!! I really hope you're ok though. :) Those really hot peppers can be nasty little things and they look soooooo harmless and cute. I'm ordering me some pepper seeds this year that have the taste of the hot ones but not the heat. I just hope the seed companies don't get em mixed up! Yikes!

-- Annie (mistletoe6@earthlink.net), December 30, 2001.

IF there is a next time for this sort of episode, try milk on the pepper burns. I ground some homegrown dried paprika peppers in a blender and didn't wait until the fine dust had settled before looking into the container. I didn't think I was going to die, I knew I was. I used milk to wipe my face and even daubed a little into my nostrils. I'm ever so thankful I didn't get it in my eyes! AND that it was a milder pepper!

Sorry to laugh at your discomfort but since I'd pulled a similar stunt myself, it was laughing with you more than at you.

-- marilyn (rainbow@ktis.net), December 30, 2001.

Yep, sounds like an original TONGUE-SURFER OUT OF THE BODY EXPERIENCE to me! We raise lots of peppers for our market garden, and I've had similar experiences too. I remember taking a bit out of habenaro to see how the flavor was. As stated earlier, milk is the answer for delicate burned tissue. For the hands, and other less delicate tissues a mild bleach with water solution will kill the burn promptly. Water just spreads the capsicum. I powdered dried habenaro's and tabasco's in our coffee bean grinder to make a seasoning powder for us, and not only did I open the lid too soon (like another unfortunate countysider) and learn about capsicum eyesore, but I forgot to run fresh bread through the grinder to clean out the powder, and it made for a most eye opening cup of coffee later. We really do love hot stuff, and are pround members of the tongue surfer club, but I draw the line at habenaro coffee. (However a little hot pepper powder added to real hot coco is tasty!!)

-- Marty in KS (Mrs.Puck@Excite.com), December 30, 2001.

OMG, Chuck! I'm still laughing and the tears are running down my face. I read this to DH and I thought he was going to wet his pants.

Does this type of incident happen frequently around your house, it certainly does mine.

Stacy in NY

-- Stacy (KincoraFarm@aol.com), December 30, 2001.

ROTFLMAO ... I tried to read this to my husband in the other room but I was laughing so hard it took about three tries and a trip to the bathroom so as not to pee my pants :)

-- Susan (smtroxel@socket.net), December 30, 2001.

Chuck be thankfull you didn't have to go to the little boys room with pepper juice on your hands .Hubby learned this is a no no the hard way .For the next time take the phone off the hook and wear rubber gloves.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), December 30, 2001.

I'll share an embarrassing, funny homestead story...one day last fall I went out to clean horse stalls, it was a cool rainy day and I wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I had just finished one stall, and heading into the next when I brushed the stall door with my butt. It hurt, and I thought, "Well, that's odd" and continued to clean the stall. My butt continued to hurt, I kinda felt around but there wasn't anything there that shouldn't be. I continued cleaning another 5 minutes or so, and it continued to hurt. Well, not wanting to drop my sweatpants in a cold barn, and not to mention that it's rather difficult to look at your own butt, I walked back to the house. I walked in and dear hubby was reading in the livingroom, I turned around and asked, "Is there something on my butt?" He really didn't even look up although he said he did--nothing much phases him anymore. So, I thought to really get his attention I'd have to drop my pants, it worked quite well, he was now more interested in my butt than what he was reading. He said, "There is a rather large splinter in your right butt cheek." He's making odd choking noises at this point. I said, "Laughing is not helping matters--pull it out." He tried, it must have been hard to laugh, roll on the floor, and try to pull the splinter out at the same time. He said, "It won't come out." I said, "Get a pair of needle nose pliers." He got the pliers and after a few minutes of dancing around the livingroom because pliers are very cold on one's sensitive posterior, he said, "It won't come out. Do you want me to take you to the Emergency Room?" I replied, vehmently, "NO." Can you imagine what would happen if I presented myself to the ER doctor with a splinter in my butt? After darling hubby gets off the floor, and I believe, changed his underwear, I laid down on the bed and he removed the splinter (it felt like about a foot long but was actually closer to 4-5 inches) the splinter was removed via needle nose pliers. Every so often when I come in from cleaning stalls he'll ask if I need Dr. Ed to check out my butt.

Stacy in NY ---->heading out to clean stalls *grin*

-- Stacy (KincoraFarm@aol.com), December 30, 2001.

OK Stacy now I peed my pants !!!! LOL

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), December 30, 2001.

OMG Chuck! You have a way with words. I especially liked the tomato flambe part! :-) That's how it feels to me every time I try to eat any spicy food. You made it sound so funny! Yet, I know from experience that it's not. :-) My ex, back when we were first married, liked green salsa(green chile) and his mother sent him some peppers for me to make this for him. I was naive and roasted the peppers like I'd seen her do. Then I set out to peel them. My hands slowly started burning and I even recall putting a finger to my lips, but, I couldn't get rid of that burning for hours. I didn't know milk would help at the time and spent most of the rest of that evening with my hands submerged in cold water. My mouth had quit burning long before my hands ever did. I think now the water may have prolonged the burning. It's funny to think of it now, but it sure wasn't funny at the time!

-- Diana (rock_hunter83@hotmail.com), December 31, 2001.