Back when I was new to Texas and the dialect here, I took my husband's grandmother to the Beauty School to have her hair done. They have it set up so that you pay first, and then get worked on. After she was finished, we started to leave; she suddenly stopped and said, "I forgot to pay for the wrench!" and went back to the cash register. I thought I must have heard wrong, but no, she told the girl at the counter, "I didn't pay for the wrench." The girl said, "no, no, you paid when you came in." Granny was adamant and finally between them they worked out that she had only paid for a perm and then later had asked for a wrench. The girl was satisfied and accepted 3 extra dollars. I'm really not dumb, but during this whole exchange I was scrambling in my mind for *what* in the world they had done to Granny with a wrench! Finally as we left I asked her, and she explained that she had a wrench put on her hair to darken it so the grey wouldn't show, and then it clicked!

-- Elizabeth in E TX (kimprice@peoplescom.net), December 14, 2001

Answers

accents are interesting. for example, did you know that the letter R has migratory habits? that's right. the letter R does not like new england weather, it prefers warmer weather so it migrates. for example, go to massachusetts. the letter R has left the area. one will hear a bostonian say that he "paks his cah" translation: he parks his car.

that very same R heads for texas and fits right in. one will hear a texan refer to his "earl well" translation: oil well. one will also hear a texan saying "warsh my truck" or "warsh my clothes" translation: wash.

have a nice day

gene

-- gene ward (gward34847@aol.com), December 15, 2001.

Oh boy can I relate! We just moved to sw virginia and am having a real hard time with those southern accents. Our neighbor's dog came over to say hello when the moving van got here and our whole family was out on the porch. Being a good neighbor, the fellow came to retrieve his black lab dog and introduce himself. I asked what the dog's name was and he said "ice". My husband wasn't sure what he said and I said "His name is "ice". The neighbor said, "no "ICE". "Yes", I said "ice". Husband said "ICE"??.. "NO" said the neighbor..."ICE!!" "like a deck of cards the ICE of spades"....."Oh.. ACE!!!!".

The neighbor had also introduced himself as "Bennie". We kept calling him bennie through the whole conversation. Turns out his name is "BENNY".

Well, needless to say, I am sure everyone in the whole county has heard what stupid people we are..."dumb folks don't even understand english up there"!!

P.S. - his son's name is Brad...could of swore he said "bread"..but we knew that couldn't be right and finally figured it out...well...at least we think is name is Brad!

-- Karen (db0421@yahoo.com), December 15, 2001.

Being from VA, people up here in NY do I have problem sometimes when I ask for water in a restaurant. According to my DH, I pronounce it "warter". I think they all just have hearing problems!

I used to work for a Japanese company. One day one of the Japanese came by my desk and said he needed a "creep". I asked him several times "What do you need?". He kept saying "creep". Finally, I asked him what does it do? He squeezed his fingers together and said he needed it to hold papers. He needed a clip!

-- Cindy in NY (cjpopeck@worldnet.att.net), December 15, 2001.

In West Texas, my uncle kept talking about the "air tunnell." I went along like a dumb Yankee with no idea what he was talking about. Finally figured out it was "air terminal" which many in the North refer to as an airport.

-- fred (fred@mddc.com), December 15, 2001.

When we moved to PA back in the late 80's my husband took me and the new baby out for lunch after we arrived to the new place he had found for us to live. The waiter came and asked what we wanted to drink with our meal. And being from the deep South, of course, I asked for "iced tea". He showed up later with a glass of champagne for me. I asked what is this? He said, "Well, you asked for Asti." I informed him that I knew my accent was thick, but it wasn't THAT thick. Boy, I'm glad to be back in the South, where ALL restaurants have iced tea, both sweet and unsweet, ready at all times. If they didn't they'd have a revolt on their hands.

-- Laurie in NW FL (LivgNLrng@aol.com), December 15, 2001.

This really takes me back! We moved to South Carolina years ago when hubby was in the Air Force, and I went to work in the personnel office of a newspaper in Myrtle Beach. The general manager came in to see me one day, and said something to me, which I totally did NOT understand. I said "excuse me?", he repeated, I repeated my excuse me, ect. After about four times, he was getting very red in the face and angry, and I was getting more and more embarrassed, wondering how in the world I was going to survive where the folks don't speak proper English! Turned out he was just greeting me and asking how I was enjoying the South! I could only understand about one word of it. He was from a small town that practically had it's own dialect. Same for my father in law, who was raised in a small farming town in Colorado. Half the time I couldn't understand what he was saying either--and to be fair, they probably didn't understand me, either! Jan

-- Jan in Co (Janice12@aol.com), December 15, 2001.

I was on a flight from Los Angeles to Auckland. We had been going for maybe three hours when a passenger pressed the call button to ask how much longer. He was told about another 9 hours which rather suprised him as he thought he was on a flight to Oakland! The airline (name withheld) was quite embarassed to.

-- john hill (john@cnd.co.nz), December 15, 2001.

In Texas: we...........don't............talk...........slow......,.....we....... .......just..........talk..............carefully!

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), December 17, 2001.

I'm from Oregon & dh is from Wisconsin. Our poor kids have trouble figuring out how to pronounce some words, & they have some rather odd verbal habits, like "Come here, once." I don't mind, but I do draw the line at "youse"!

-- Bonnie (stichart@plix.com), December 18, 2001.