My biggest gripe is people whom do not answer the question that was asked. The examples are such as; years ago when I was carptering, setting roof truses, (which to be accurate need to be within 1/8th of an inch to be correct) I would ask the person on the other side of the building: How much do you need me to push the truss to you? I would exspect an answer such as "1 3/8 inch" or "over 5 inches" (knowing that a 5 inch shift of a truss required too much force to gague its positioning to correctness and that a second shift would be needed). What answer do I get back, How about "a little bit".

Since most of you do not set trusses another example would be when I ask a host of a covered dish group supper; "How much fried chicken should I bring"? I do not know how many people to exspect to attend or what other main dishes are exspected. If I knew there were 26 people, I would then know about 6 chickens as a guess. But what answer do I get: "Whatever you think is right".

Am I too demanding? Trades I have practiced over the years all require accurate measuring devices; this puter demands an exact totally correct typed entry of info just to begin to work correctly. This is the type world most men must learn to fit in, a world that is fully detailed to all fine points.

If you were to need a bread recipe and phoned your friend for it and they said sure; "Take a lot of flour, some eggs, a smidgion of baking powder, a pinch of salt, some milk, turn the oven pretty high.....ect." How do you think your bread would turn out? Yes, bread recipes need numbers or descriptions of amounts; yes, computers need exact entry letters and figures; yes, men need cut and dried exact info in order to operate as exspected.

Yes, I am detail orentitated, the stumpers are proof of that, most men are the same. In my openion men think that going directly at a problem is the best way to cure it, women seem to envelope (def 2) a problem as the way to cure it. When a man askes a question it is to develope a surefooted pathway to the desired end product; if you remove this pathway or do not contribute to it you are defeating his progress; and in turn, your own if you and he are connected via a relationship of any type. I do not know how women think and this is what this post is asking. __^..^__

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), December 08, 2001

Answers

I am on the other side of the coin. I like people to ask their questions in a way that I know what info they want. It leaves less room for mis-communication. Your question in the potluck example might have been better stated "How many people should I prepare fried chicken for?" My husband asks very vague (sp?) questions and it drives me bonkers!

-- Jo (mamamia2kids@msn.com), December 08, 2001.

I understand your point Mitch, but women and men think and process information on different sides of their brains, so this "problem" will always exist as long as we have two sexes, don't suppose you would want only one, would you ;-)!!!

Men tend to approach things in life as either black or white, women tend to allow gray into the choice much more frequently, and as a whole, women are more open-minded about the possibility of there being more than one right/correct way to do things.

Is this necessarily a bad quality to have?

-- Annie Miller in SE OH (annie@1st.net), December 08, 2001.

In our house, it's the linear thinker (male) and the cyclical thinker (female). My husband is a whiz at problems that require a point A to point B fix. I'm the one who looks at the big picture and tries to find the answer that most suits the entire situation. Makes for interesting conversations and projects. He says I'm the one who puts the curves in his garden path. Don't fight it, Mitch. It's what makes the world go 'round.

-- melina b. (goatgalmjb1@hotmail.com), December 08, 2001.

Mitch, thankyou for your post! My husband and I just got through having one of "those" discussions, as I was pulling up your post!! He wanted to know an "exact", and I could only give him a close answer....and he sorta left the room "unfulfilled"...so, I called him back in to read your post and the answers to it, and he left here with a big grin and the comment that "at least other guys had the same problem!" In His Grace, Sissy

-- Sissy Sylvester-Barth (iblong2Him@ilovejesus.net), December 08, 2001.

One of my favorite examples of just one way in which men and women think has to do with giving (or getting) directions. Women in my office have finally convinced me that I need to give directions to locations in a different language to women than men.

With a man I give directions like "Take this road West another couple miles, turn North on the 4 lane. Take that to the light, turn East and it'll be on the South side."

With a woman I would get a deer in the headlights look most of the time. The same directions, to be understood by most women must be given as, "Go out this drive and turn left and go another couple miles, turn right on the 4 lane. Take that to the light, turn right and it'll be on your right."

One of the many glorious differences. ;o)

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), December 08, 2001.

Mitch-as I was reading your post I was thinking "This sounds just like my husband!" He too, worked many years as a carpenter and wants an exact answer though he's (To my thinking) mellowed out, and I've tried to get more exact, but .... As for directions-this is the clear difference. My husband calls roads by thier exact highway map designation-to him, the road in frount of the school house is Route 90 to me it is the road in frount of the school house. He will say"turn left (or south) unto Route 63" I'll say"drive til you see a red barn , then turn on the road that has the little antique shop on the side"

I think between the two of us we have a good balance!

-- Kelly (Ksaderholm@yahoo.com), December 08, 2001.

My DH has a quirk about asking for directions. We will be traveling somewhere and he gets lost. I ask him to stop and ask for directions. He says that he knows where we're going. After some time has gone by, with us wandering around, I ask him if we are lost. He replies SORT OF!!!! Now how can you be sort of lost?? you're either lost or you aren't!!!

-- Ardie /WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), December 08, 2001.

I suspect it's like being "sort of" pregnant.....

-- Annie Miller in SE OH (annie@1st.net), December 08, 2001.

While traveling in a straight line may get you to your destination, on the road or in life, it is often the curves, twists, turns and detours, that make it all the more interesting.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), December 08, 2001.

I always enjoy the journey. My husband is totally goal-oriented. We have balance...if it weren't for him I'd never get anywhere and if it weren't for me, he'd never truly understand why he made the journey (the so-called goal isn't always the truly important one to attain).

-- Sheryl in Me (radams@sacoriver.net), December 09, 2001.

Si Si Senor mitch, my wife and I often has discussions about this.

Like last night when I was putting the clean dishes away, and I was trying to put the electric carving knife blades with the handle.

"Honey, where is the carving knife?"

"Next to the refrigerator"

Well, I looked next to the refrigerator, above the refrigerator, (nearly looked UNDER the refrigerator) and finally said "I can't find it."

(Exasperated sigh) She came around the corner, opened a drawer, and points at it.

Well why didn't ya just say open the . . .

WOMEN!

Gotta love 'em; just don't try to understand 'em; just drive you crazy.

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), December 10, 2001.

We have the same problem in our house. DH is an engineer, and I'm of a more "artistic" bent -- things can get a little ticklish at times. I tend to be more laid back, he's anal. Problem is, he has two little minions living in the house and they tend to gang up on Mom's "granola head" ways...makes for interesting times.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

My gripe is if you want to know how many inches something should be moved, then ASK how many more inches it neds to be moved. Asking a vague question will get you a vague answer. A real problem in our house!

-- Laura (LadybugWrangler@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

One of my biggest gripes are. People who ask you a question and then turn around and pretend they didnt' ask it. While you are answering , they don't even listen.

-- jillian (daffodil_skunk83@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

I wonder if Mitch is chuckling up his sleeve, throwing his hands up in exasperation, or both. He asked a question, and instead of answering it ourselves, most have simply discussed HIS answer. The last two posts at least answered the original question although still on the same topic.

My biggest gripe is when my children ignore their own faults and go picking on each other for their faults, usually something pretty minor. And I'm with Jillian--I can't stand it when they ask a question and then don't wait around for the answer.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), December 15, 2001.