The other day I was "lurking" over at the Countryside Forum and saw a post like this where people were discussing why they got Crabby during the holidays-I also saw post here asking people to pray for other who are lonely or depressed during the holidays. My question is:Do any of you get Crabby/sad/depressed out of sorts during the holidays? What do you do?

I almost allways get down this time of year-I felt myself getting blue over the weekend and wondered why? I realized a big chunk of my problem was that my Mom allways got real depressed over the holidays. I'm convinced she suffers from SAD-seasonal affected disorder though she wont admit it. We had very little money growing up and she always got really depressed because she couldn't get us things she thought we wanted. I remember her crying on many Christmases. My husbands family didn't have much money either, but thier celebrations were joyful This year, our budget is tight, but instead of stressing about that-no, I'm not going to be able to buy expensive gifts and have lavish decorations, and co-ordinated this and that, I am going to be grateful for what we have. We have much to be grateful for.

The other thing that stresses me out is trying to get all the things done-well, who says you have to do all that? For example, Every year my kids do a school Christmas padgent and I fly around trying to get people ready for it-the costumes right, practice speaking parts and lines etc. This year no-one wanted to go -My daughter is sick-my son gets stage fright, my husband is studing for a final. I asked at school and no it wasn't a requirement they didn't have to do it so we canceled-it was like a collective sigh of relief the kids allways did it before because the thought they had too, we always went because the kids were in it. One less stressful event. So I'm checking our calender and crossing out stuff we don't really really want to do.

All ready I'm feeling much more cheerful about the holiday.

-- Kelly (Ksaderholm@yahoo.com), December 03, 2001

Answers

I usually have a "down" spell during this time of year. Of course I have "down" spells at other times of the year, too, but this is different. I take meds for depression every day, but I really struggle at holiday time. I get a real case of the "shoulds"-- I should do this and I should do that. But what if I don't want to? I feel like a scrooge. I usually end up doing everything at the last minute and then feel better!

-- Jo (mamamia2kids@msn.com), December 03, 2001.

Oh yes, I believe that quite a few of us have depression of sorts at the Holidays. Christmas brings back memories that we usually can push away the rest of the year. The disappointments surface again. The loneliness is back. We miss people who aren't with us anymore and never will be.

-- Ardie/Wi (ardie54965@hotmail.com), December 03, 2001.

Does any one have ideas for warding off depression when you feel it coming? I don't mean the low days, I mean the ones that last for weeks or months, just because.

-- mary (mlg@aol.com), December 03, 2001.

St. John's wort works well for me. It takes about a month of use before you feel the difference. Unfortunately, I can't take it anymore as it does adverse things combined with my heart medication. So...if you hear that I've been chasing DH with an ax, don't be surprised! ROLF!!

-- Ardie/Wi (ardie54965@hotmail.com), December 03, 2001.

Mary-One thing that has helped me tremendously is keeping a journal. Theres also a technique where you write three pages every day (prefereably as soon as you get up) it dosn't matter what you write, and certainly don't think about grammer or spelling and that stuff, just write. I find that this helps bring up those things that bother me that I've pushed to the back of my mind. It does take time-it takes me about a half hour, so I get up an half hour early to do "my pages" I hate getting up in the morning so it has been a struggle, but I feel so much better it really is worth it.

If you have depression more than a couple of weeks or so I would urge you to seek some help. We all get the blahs and feel down occasionally, but long periods can indicate a problem. I did. It took a while, and I was very resistant, but it literally changed my life! The quality of my life-and I think of my family too is so much better. its not a big deal. My Dh's Grandmother went through a rough spell last summer, finally she changed doctors, and her new Doctor said"Some meds will affect your mood." He adjusted her meds, and gave her a low dosage anti-depressant, she feels so much better-when you feel better mentally, you feel better physically as well. Not every spell of depression calls for medication-sometimes "getting help" might just mean talking things out with close friends or perhaps a paster or priest at you church.

-- Kelly (Ksaderholm@yahoo.com), December 04, 2001.

Thanks for the advice. I used to keep a journal, maybe I will try that again. I'm not on meds, and have been reluctant to try anti- depressants(although I certainly considered it the last time a depression lasted way too long.) I think I understand what things trigger it, but do NOT want to have that black cloud for a companion again, esp. at Christmastime this year. I'm thinking being more conscientious with my diet(read:giving up chocolate;) might help.

-- mary (mlg@aol.com), December 04, 2001.