I have a problem and it's one that I can't discuss with my wife. I really hate to start on the forum with a problem. Normally, my wife and I can discuss anything but sometimes you just need to discuss these things with someone else in order to get another perspective. O.K., I've noticed, recently, that since we moved up here, a little over a year ago, that every couple of weeks or so my pants seem to be getting tighter! Now, I haven't said anything to her because I don't want her to think she's doing something wrong or that I'm accusing her of being a bad wife, 'cause she ain't. Even though I haven't said anything to her, I know she's noticed because I've seen her reading the Washer and Drier manual and fugitively reading the backs of the soap boxes. So, I know she's worried too. In our previous life, when we had money, I'd just sneak out of the house and buy some new pants when this happened but since moving up here, I don't have that money or that option. Just some added information, she's using a Kenmore Washer and Dryer (electric but only on bad days, other days they're hung on the line) and we're on well water. Another thing and I don't know if it's related but I've also noticed lately that we're eating a lot more salad with our meals which I use to not eat. I also seem to be getting less meat and potatoes now. I've also seen her reading cookbooks, which she hides when I come into the room. Now, is this something I should start worrying about? Is it too late? Is there a cure for whatever it is that's wrong with her? Come on guys, I know ya'll have probably had similar experiences, how did you handle it? Be brutal if you must. She doesn't read the messages.

Thanks for all your help

Wildman

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Answers

Maybe this will help Jack. One thing is she might be concerned with your health, being afraid if you drop over dead she won't have enough money. The solution is UP the life insurance policy and show her. Bingo back goes the steak and eggs!!!

Another thing is the larger buns might be forcing her off the side of the bed at night? Solution is a larger bed maybe.

Just be creative Jack and if all else fails you may have to resort to violence. I rarely go with that tho cause I get tired of gettin the crap beat out of me!!!!!......Good luck and I hope the food gets better!!!.....Kirk

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Try this, Jack....take her out to dinner a little more often. She wont have to do any cooking or clean up the kitchen after! I know she would appreciate that!! And so she'll "let" you eat whatever you want at a restaurant of your choice :-)!!

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Jack,

I think it is a regional illness. We are in northern Arkansas (Newton County) too and are having the same problem. I now have to find 31X34 jeans for my husband instead of the 29X34 he wore when we got married. Please if you get any help, pass it on. Kim

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Y'know Jack, we had this same problem...about oh..18 years ago. Dang clothes dryer was shrinking up BOTH our jeans. Tried hanging them on the line, tried those pants stretcher things, but I was still having to lie down on the bed and use the channel locks to get 'em zipped; while hubs just had a bit more "overhang" than usual.

Then, one bright December morning, I ate a whole jar of Kosher Dill pickles for breakfast....

Amazing how pregnancy can affect BOTH parents waistlines!

You haven't been craving any pickels or watermelon or anything lately, have you?!

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Jack, I'm not sure that the problem is with your wife. It sounds like you may be suffering from Dunlop's Disease. Dunlop's Disease occurs when your belly has done lopped over your belt. I've been suffering from it for a few years now.

I believe that in some cases there may be a correlation between Dunlop's Disease and Domestic Happiness Syndrome. The only time I've had any relief from my case of Dunlops was the time that I was fired from my job, divorced my husband after 12 years of marriage, and developed an ulcer all in the same 3 months. Now that I'm engaged to a wonderful man not only has my Dunlops returned but he has developed a case of it as well.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

I too have noticed the samething with my wife's behavior . . . I think Bin Lauden is involved. He has sent an invisible beam through our t.v. sets, causing more critical review of our meal plan and daily lives. Tuna . . . again? AAAUG! I'll talk, I'll talk . . . anything but that!

Kim Fleece: 31" waist is fat? Lordy, I haven't had a 31 waist since high school; anyone with a 31 waist must be careful to not scratch the furniture when they sit down. Feed him some cookies, for god's sake. The softer the pillow, the softer the ride.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Buy a couple pair of bibs to wear while you work on getting the pants to fit.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Wildman, I am glad that you shared this problem with us. I see that everyone has great suggestions. I really like Marcha's ideas. But you did mention that you don't have much money to spend these days so I guess you are just gonna have to take over doing the laundry and fixing the meals and give your poor tired wife a break!

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Sherri, I think I can see the relation between Dunlop and Domestic Happiness Syndrome. It evidently makes her happy to shrink my pants! And as we all know, if Mama ain't happy....... Jay Blair, I really like the suggestion of the bibs. I think that's a great idea. It would take her a long time to shrink those to where they were too tight. However, you suggested that "I work on getting the jeans to fit". You make it sound like it's my fault. We've got to clear something up real quick. I ain't never at fault! Now, I might be just a bit hasty here and maybe you meant that I should kinda let them out a little, but I don't sew that well so that's out. But thanks for playing. Keep those suggestions coming.

Polly, wouldn't I look foolish laying on the bed trying to zip my pants? Women look sexy doing that. Men just look like they're having a spasm! Luckily, I haven't been craving anything and I'll guarantee that she ain't PG. Please don't let her be! But I am glad you solved your problem. Damn, these are getting tighter.

Kim, you may be on to something there. When you figure out how you're shrinking your husbands clothes will you contact my wife and let her know the solution? If we figure it out, we'll do the same. If it is a regional thing, we're going to have to move or I'm going to have to get another job.

Marcia, I love your style! Would love to be able to take her out to eat but I have a couple of problems with that. She doesn't, I do. We're a long way from any place that is more than a diner. Number 2, is that we really, really don't have to money to spend eating out right now. Number 3 is that I still wouldn't get my steak and potatoes because I love those Seafood Buffets! Fried Shrimp and Catfish! I'm going to have to get to missing my steak really bad to eat it when I'm out and pass up the shrimp and catfish. And it seems that the steaks I have ate out are not as good as the ones I USE to get at home. But it was a great idea. I know she'd like it. In fact, I think that's the only reason she goes on storms with me is because we have to eat out for a month or two.

Kirk, great suggestion but if I had the money to up the insurance then I'd have enough money to take her out to eat. And there are somedays that I don't want to give her any more incentive to collect on that insurance policy. I also feel that one of those days will be when I finally get brave enough to bring up the Shrinking Pants Dilemma. You might have something about the big butt but again we've got the biggest bed they make. The next step would be to remove the bed and make the floor into a bed. At least, that would stop the long fall. Your third suggestion isn't practical for the same reason it isn't practical for you! I heal slower than I use to.

Tren, I'm flattered that you feel that I would be able to figure this out if I did the laundry and cooking. I'm glowing! Do men glow? Anyway, I would put your suggestion into effect if I didn't think it would demoralize her. I mean, she's shrinking my pants and I'm going to take her job away from her because she can't do it right? Oh, I don't think so. That would be a rookie mistake and I ain't no rookie.

Listen, I want to thank all of you for trying. A lot of the suggestions would be workable in different circumstances. Maybe I can start wearing my shirts outside my pants, leave them unbuttoned and wear suspenders. Anything I can to keep the peace.

JR. Hadn't thought about the T.V. Now that could be part of the problem! Either OBL or aliens. I've heard tales of the aliens trying to make us uncomfortable and lazy so they can take over. Or was that the Russians. I think you might have solved part of the problem.

Psst, I'm just humoring him. Delete his post as soon as possible. Actually, I had thought of aliens but I won't admit it on the forum. "Cause some of you don't believe!

Wildman (in a tight)

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

I am cracking up just reading all these "solutions" for Wildman. Whatever he decides for a remedy for his problem, you all have definitely made my day...and it's been a BAD one!!! Thanks so much!!!

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Marcia, glad we could help to make your day. Just hate bad days. But,I think they're making fun of a very serious situation. At least, it's serious to me. I'm running out of clothes and Winter's coming on.

Wildman

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Wildman...I truly hope that you find an answer for your situation. I know that all here are not making fun of a serious situation...we're all thinking of ya'. Please let us know how you solve it!!!!!

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001