A friend sent me this......it was my laugh for the day!

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Why is a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Why do tug boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "Stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?

Shouldn't it be called a "near hit'?

How can there be "self help Groups"?

Why is called after dark, when it's really after light?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

How is it possible to have a "Civil War"?

If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If most car accidents occur within five minutes of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts!

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I went for a long walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone and I said, "The whole time."

-- Jason in S. Tenn. (AJAMA5@netscape.net), October 28, 2001

Answers

Here's a few more:

If a mime gets arrested, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Procrastinate later!

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), October 28, 2001.

Lingerie is popular BECAUSE love is blind!

-- Sheryl in Me (radams@sacoriver.net), October 28, 2001.