Hi....nobodys awake here and I had to post this ...maybe seeing it in print will help the shock I am in.A dear friend of the family,and one of my childrens best friends (17 years old)was hit by a pick-up at dusk and killed here tonight,roller blading to church.He was thrown 100 metres.Had a head set on.We live in a real small town,the road is closed.The kids in the youth group are real shook.Fourth death from this high school since JUly.Ian was a real good kid,worked on the local dairy farm before and after school.Sorry its 2 am.and I just needed to ramble. What do you say to your teenagers at a time like this????I 'never faced death at their age.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

Answers

Dear Teri, My heart is with you, so sorry to hear of this tragic accident. Teri , I don't think there is anything that you can say, just lend a shoulder, wipe the tears, hold a hand, look into their eyes, wonder together at the meanings and the whys. Peace be with you. Love TRen

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

Dear Teri--When I was 14 years old, my best friend died. There is really nothing you can say, but listening when your kids need to talk about it, hugs, a kiss, an arm around them, just letting them know you will always be there for them, will help get them through this. I am so sorry for your loss. It isn't easy to comprehend death in someone so young. Wishing you love and peace--Vicki

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

I think what Vicki and Tren advised is about the only thing to do. I'm so sorry. It's a horrible thing that's happened.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

Teri,

I'm very sorry. I really don't know what to say at all. But my thoughts and prayers are with you and for all of those touched by this tragedy. I wish I could do more. Take care.

Love,

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

I am so sorry for your sadness, Teri. I hope you can feel our love and sympathy.

After a while, may these words give you some comfort: when young people pass on, I believe that they are sent here to be martyrs. Much good often comes from the incredible shock of the loss of young lives, it can shake people up to such a degree that they have great epiphanies,and grow spiritually in a hurry. I think these young folks die to help the rest of us, sacrifice themselves unknowingly to the good of their fellow beings, and they are blessed indeed.

Peace be unto you and your child.....

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

Teri thats so horrible! I'm really sorry....Love Kirk

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2001

Just back from a long weekend. My sympathies, Teri, for you all, including whoever hit your friend. I don't have any suggestions for you == I haven't dealt with anything similar.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2001

A horrible tragic event that should not have happened. But then, a whole lot of tragic events happen to those who don't deserve it, ala 9-11.

I lost a good friend to a motorcycle accident; he tried to beat a stoplight and lost to a pickup truck. He died enroute to the hospital. I still remember him occasionally, he is missed even after 22 years.

I don't know how to make your child feel better, but I think it very important to impress upon him / her on how fragile life really is. To appreciate what you have, who you know and who you are RIGHT NOW, not in the future when you will "be somebody".

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

hi teri, didn't respond right away because I felt so sad for you and it brought back some heart-wrenching memories of something quite similar when I was 14. Two of the boys from my "crowd" were riding a bike and got hit and killed. I can remember it so clearly today and I have not thought of it for a very long time. Just allowing them to talk when they want to and not when they just don't. I can remember thinking that no adult could possibly understand. I know it has been a few days now and I hope that family, friends and community are just giving each other a lot of love. hugs to you and yours....diane

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

My heart goes out to you Teri, just be there for the children, a shoulder to lean on, a thought to share, a hand to hold, a smile for them when they are down, those are things that mean so much and cost us so little, just time and the willingness to share them.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I am so sorry for the grief that you must be feeling! I honestly cannot compare anything in my life with what you or your child must be feeling. I've thought about this since you first posted. I am blessed with the fact that my son has not lost any of his friends due to any kind of accident (he is 28 yrs.old now), and I did not lose any close friends of mine back when I was in high school. So, I cannot even pretend to feel the sadness that you are feelng!!!! Just know that all of us here are thinking of you and are sending our love in this time of tragedy. You WILL get through this!!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Thank-you all so much for your words of encouragement.Just came in the door from the funeral home,the line up was still out the door at 10 pm.We are expecting 400 at the church,funeral is Wednesday.Both my boys finally let the floodgates openIt was top story on the Hamilton News,the man who hit him and the dad,expressing their faith together.The man who hit Ian had called the family to ask if it would be appropriate for him to attend the services,as he felt it would be healing.....wow.Makes our differences seem pretty petty huh?Actually come to think of it ...it makes a lot of things very small in my life right now.My sons will both be pallbearers.When the boys were small Ian,Mike and JIm,they fought over who got to ring the church bell on Sundays,so at the burial they are going to ring it 15 times for Ian.Hug you kids today ...okay???love and deep appreciation for all of you....teri

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001