Well, I'm sorry to say Baabette the Wonder Sheep has gone. It is so odd. She seemed to be recovering nicely and then suddenly she was dead. Our 8 yr old son found her and is very upset. So am I. This sheep lived in our house for the first few weeks of her life and was more a pet than livestock. I am so sick to my stomach. Trying to decide to have a "funeral" with the kids or just let hubby quietly bury her. My son wants me to shear her and make a momento for him. Is that strange? She had beautiful wool.

I feel like throwing up and have been lethargic since finding her. My morning sickness doesn't help it at all. Can't even get dinner made.

How do you all deal with death on the farm with younger kids? My heart breaks when I see them crying over their animals. This is the type of thing that makes me not want to have any more animals. It is so hard for me and the kids. If I don't know what to look for then I shouldn't even have animals because I am doing a disservice to them. They don't deserve it.

Even sadder Mrs G

-- Mrs G (gunnar@yifan.net), September 06, 2001

Answers

I am sorry. And I know what your going through,it is rough when you and the kids become attached to certain animals. We went through a rough time awhile back when our youngest was standing waiting for the school bus and her cat was out and it came running across the road and was hit by a car. Just tore her up for several weeks but eventually the pain goes away and now she has a new one and is very protective with him.

Just calm down and let everything run its natural course but above all don't blame yourself for this. If you can,before you get another one, get some books on the care & health keeping of sheep,etc. If you can't let me know and I will send a check to you to help out in buying some, just e-mail me. Take care

-- TomK(mich) (tjk@cac.net), September 06, 2001.

That's too bad about your sheep. It's tough on young kids to lose animals (tough on the rest of us, too . . .), but it *is* part of life. The unpleasant part, maybe, but it's nothing you can avoid. If you are going to have animals, you are going to experience this more than people who don't have any, or just have a dog or a cat that may live for years. You multiply your animals and death is going to visit your place more often. And don't feel that you shouldn't have animals if you aren't perfect with them! Baabette had a priviledged life with you, may even owe her whole existence to you. OK, her life was short, but it was good. Don't kick yourself too hard over it. My college room mate is a large animal veterinarian, and she raised sheep for the fun of it for awhile after she was out of vet school. Do you know what she said about sheep? "A sick sheep is a dead sheep." Now, that's from a large animal vet, who was taking care of her own flock (only had five or six, I think). So don't feel too bad over you not getting Baabette through this. Have another animal, maybe name her Baabetter, :), and keep on going.

-- Jennifer L. (Northern NYS) (jlance@nospammail.com), September 06, 2001.

Mrs. G,

we as a family do a necropsy on them to see what caused them to die. We cut them open and begin to explore every part of them. Perhaps there was something we could have done differently, feed, minerals, blockage, bloat. The youngest takes pictures the oldest helps with identifying the organs. We are looking for spots on the liver, empty stomachs, full stomachs, impacted intestines, any tumors and so on. We take this horrible thing and turn it into a good thing.

I agree with your son, take the skin. If nothing more, let him scrape the hide and let it dry out. Let him have it, he can hang it on his wall. Now if you spin or weave...that is another story.

I realize how cold and heartless I sound, in your time of greiving and believe me every time I loose an animal I am sad, but then I want to know why.

-- westbrook (westbrook_farms@yahoo.com), September 06, 2001.

You have gotten some good advice here. Nothing tears a mother up more than to have an unconsolable child. But that is part of the experience that you are giving your child--the fragility of life, that it is TRULY a gift. Sometimes I wonder whether people who live their lives recklessly respect what they have been given.

Also, I wanted our children to experience death that way before (hopefully)close family members. I know it is not the same, but children do feel these deaths deeply.

I know you did what you could. My husband's grandparents were farmers and it never gets easy--even if you work with animals. Another thing is--they took care of their animals best they could and sometimes that happened anyway--they couldn't afford vet bills either.

-- Ann Markson (tngreenacres@hotmail.com), September 06, 2001.

When I was young, my family travelled to a summer home that was over 500 miles from the winter one. My parents didn't want to haul pets back and forth, so we never had any. When I was 10 years old, my father, maternal grandmother and paternal step-grandfather (who was the only grandfather I had ever known on that side of the family) all passed away. This trio of deaths was my first experience with death. It was awful and took many years for me to recover, with some aspects of my life being affected into adulthood. When I had children, I swore this would never happen to them. I have always had animals since I moved from my parents home. When my children reached the age of about 2, whenever an animal died I would let them hold it and try to understand what death was. We have talked about it a lot also. (I am very cautious to have them wash well afterwards, since young children can be affected by so many illnesses.) Death is a very big part of life. If we can't appreciate death, we will undoubtedly undervalue life.

-- Sheryl in Me (radams@sacoriver.net), September 06, 2001.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. We have lost a number of sheep and lambs over the years and it's hardly any consolation to tell you that it does get a little easier with each one...still it's really tough when you have spent a lot of time nursing them, and even more devastating when you think you have them back on their way to health. Sheep are so weird...it's really a rarity to get them back to health after they go down. I'm sure that you did the best that you could. Your children are deeply saddened by this, but they will likely remember this when they grow up. It may help them to learn to really respect and appreciate life. This could be an important lesson. Take care.

-- sheepish (the_original_sheepish@hotmail.com), September 06, 2001.

I know three things #1 We learn from our animals when they did (Or at least we should learn why, and try not to let it happen again)

#2 A sick sheep is a dead sheep

#3 Kids will get over the loss and I have found it helps at least in our case when the children learn pets/farm animals die. They learn that is the way of life and it happens. The only time my kids are bothered by death now is if it is one of the dogs that we have had forever

-- grant (organicgrange@yahoo.com), September 06, 2001.

Mrs G., My condolences on the loss of your pet sheep. I have just started raising them and have found they are not as hardy as my goats. Death is part of life and you or I never get used to it. I have sat out in a pasture crying over a beloved goat that died. Kids need to understand about life and death. It is not easy but it will help them to become in tune with this world. I would give the kid some wool maybe you could get it spun and made into something to remember the happy days with Baabette. And remember that you are in a very emtional state right now and do not make any lifestyle changes until you give it alot of thought. Children handle these things better than adults and a good funeral will help with closure. God bless

-- Karen in Kansas (Kansasgoats@iwon.com), September 07, 2001.

The day I dont cry over the loss of a pet[ pets come in all shapes and sizes]Is they day I will stop raising them, As the old saying goes, It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.Animals are a learning experience in more ways then one. I am sorry for your loss.

-- kathy h (ckhart55@earthlink.net), September 07, 2001.

As others have said, death is a part of life, and children should learn about it. In fact, I don't believe a child can be considered properly educated if they haven't experienced the death of something they hold dear. I strongly suspect that children who have been shielded from that knowlege are ones who can carry out mass murders, or deliberately take risks and end up killing a car full of their school-mates. The only concept of death they have is that you reload and play again from the last time you saved the game.

Incidentally, that isn't a criticism of computer games, which I enjoy. It's a statement that children should have the background to know that the games aren't real.

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), September 07, 2001.

Thanks all for the perpective about death. It is true and I know that, you just want to keep your children from any hurts in this world. But the hurts are where you find growth.

We have had horrible luck with our dogs (to some degree our fault)over the years and this year we have lost a few rabbits and a couple chickens and it seems we just haven't had a great year, animal wise. You start to think, "What's wrong with us?"

Anyway, thanks everyone for the encouragement. Just need to remember fondly and move on.

Mrs G

-- Mrs G (gunnar@yifan.net), September 07, 2001.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Sometimes these things happen and we can't always know why. As stated many times before, death is a (cruel) part of life. And as you stated yourself, it is during times like these that we (and our children) learn and grow. Death is inevitable. It will come to all reatures at some point in time. Just take things slowly - one day at a time. Don't rush the grieving process for yourself or your children. Everyone deals with grief differently and some "heal" quicker than others. Time is a great healer. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

-- Greenthumbelina (sck8107@aol.com), September 07, 2001.