How much responsibility do your kids have on your homesteads?

I was talking to my cousin last night, who does lots of foraging for wild plants. He often takes his three year old daughter with him. She is often able to contribute labor by finding and picking plants with him, after he shows her an example of what they are looking for. It got him thinking about how a young person can contribute to the household. A three year old helping to feed her family.

Funny isn't it; society sort of pigeonholes the young into being just kids, go to school, play games, do the obligatory extra curriculars (ballet, baseball, boy and girl scouts), etc. But not into contributing to the family's well being.

Several years ago, my wife and I did some traveling into the deep interior of Mexico, where we found children of eight taking the responsibility of watching the store while the parent(s) was gone. I'm sure the rest of you who have traveled in foreign countries can relate to this also. The children were responsible for taking charge of the register, even if this was just a cigar box. I was impressed at the time. The children were capable of haggling over a price too; sure felt strange haggling with a child.

My mom used to tell me that when she was growing up, EVERYBODY contributed to the household. Children as young as four years old drove tractors in the fields (how did they operate them?). Children collected eggs, milked cows, fed the goats / shoats, etc. And the children weren't brow beaten, bribed or threatened into doing these duties; they were happy to do them. Wonder if that would happen now.

What are your thoughts on this. Do your kids help put food on the table, take major responsibilties on keeping the animals fed and healthy? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

Answers

No, (sigh) she (age 17) doesn't do much of anything to help out. Doesn't mow, weed, or hardly even cook for herself. Lazy little heifer! (grin - it's MY monster, I created it!) She used to help a bit more before she hit the dreaded teen years, though, by feeding the critters and gathering eggs and such. She does work two jobs, go to school and is involved in after scool activities. She buys her own clothes and pays for stuff like eating out and snacks for the most part, which is a big help on the budget.

When I was her age, I did all the shopping for our family, my Dad's, brother's and my laundry, helped Mom cook on the weekends and got supper started before she got home from work. I also worked in the family business, which was a seasonal commercial orchard. Bro loved to ride the tractor, so he was mowing as soon as he could reach the clutch to shift gears - about age 6, as Pop had already welded an extension on the clutch so Mama and I could reach it!

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

Hi J.R.,

What a terrific question. When my own children were young they did the "regular" chores: collect and empty the trash, moved firewood, helped plant the garden, etc. One of them liked it; the other hated it. Now that both children are grown and I occasionally have our grand-son here, I do things differently. I give them "temporary ownership" of whatever they're doing. I am more accepting of their abilities. For instances: If Alex (he's ten) breaks an egg, I don't have a fit. I congratulate him on helping and suggestion next time he be a bit more careful because these eggs are more fragile that store bought ones. When he's here (about once a week, sometimes more) he cares for the chickens and can shovel manure with the best of them. He has his "own" garden and is growing watermelons. You should have seen his face when he saw his first melon. Alex picks vegetables and gets them ready for cooking and is very proud of his "contribution". I try to make "chores" more fun for him and he responds well.

He loves coming here because of all there is to do. He says I am his "funnest grammy".

It seems easier to do this with him than with my own children. Maybe it's because he's not here all the time.

Wishing you enough.

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

No I'm in the same boat as Polly. My kids were just not interested so I didn't push to hard. But on the bright side sometimes the seed is planted anyway. My daughter ended up with a horse ranch and is much more into the country life than me! The last couple of years my son has started veggie gardening with me and its something we both share together.

Good discussion J.R. Thank you.....Kirk

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

My kids each have chore list,my daughter Kate,14 cleans the stalls and does the horse chores,in exchange,I pay her horses feed bill and riding lessons!!Mary,11 does the rabbits,lay hens and picks my herbs for ointments,she gets paid egg money,and has saved enough to buy one lamb for wool(she just learned how to spin)Anyone over 12 does laundry,except the whites!!!My oldest son,21 works too hard off the farm to ask him to do much,but he will help.My second son 18 does the wood,chopping splitting with dad,and fills the wood box after school (he's not homeschooled)Our littlest boy 6 ,puts the eggs in the cartons,and feeds the dog( who is 110 lbs.!!!)We have a system where,for 6 mos. you do one chore like the bathroom cleaning,or changing oil in the car with Dad,till you get good at it.(works for mc donald's)Then the jobs rotate.I have to have them help cuz I'm with them 24 7!!!!Both my daughters can bake a pie better than I.I do however wonder If I'm gonn a burn em out and they will have a potty cleaning complex for the rest of their lives!!!!ps...they weed and plant,butcher here too and help the neighbors with hay for real pay!!!

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

Wow Teri thats quite a wonderful family you have there!! Talk about planting seeds. They'll look back on their childhood with pride! Great job....Kirk

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001

Our son has his daily chore list, plus during times when he is not in school, he is expected and gives a "man's share" of work beside his mother with free time to play , etc while I do what I physically can to give him a break. During school times, his studies come first, then chores, then helping his mother with the BISF and me with the worm studies. He backtalks sometimes (all 12 yr olds do), but we just give him the "Dr Evil "pre emptive shush" out of Austin Powers" :>) If I really want to punish him, I don't let him help with the worm studies for a day.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2001

Just in case my kids looked to perfect,thought I should let you know we have also done the wrecked up my car,lost my license,smoked some hooch days too.Though it seems he has his brains back now...:)And they do get mouthy..hhhmmm matbe I should get into worms tooo.!!!

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2001

My kids are all spoiled sluff-offs. They eat their heads off, they make messes that I have to clean up, they won't clean their own rooms, they often squabble over who got more at dinner --

Of course, they have an excuse. They have no opposable thumbs, and some of them have the IQ of a box of cornflakes.

(in case you're worried, none of them are human)

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2001

Oh! This I think is important. Kids today are spoiled rotton and it's not doing them an ounce of good! But it's not just work, or chores that they need but they need to have a sence that what they are doing is contributing .

Thye need to have a sence of being needed. I think that altho. I had alot of work that I had to do as a child, in my teen years, what I was looking for was a place to belong, a place where I was needed.

This is one area where I think the Menninites and the Amish are advanced beyound us. Now an Amish mothere doesn't slave all day alone, but her daughters are right there with her, helping provide and take care of the family. Her 14 year old is not on the couch in the living room watching Friends, but is helping out with the slicing of the potatoes, the peeling of the carrots, and the gathering of the laundry. The eight year old is not on the phone or the computer but is gathereing eggs or setting the table.

I found a cookbook at a yard sale( I love cookbooks!) by a Mennonite Lady Betty Groff's country Goodness CookBook. Oh, just reading what she has to say about how she grew up and how they all had their jobs to do. She talks about the different things that she learned off of all the members of her extended family. Here is what she says about her mother, " my Mother showed me about every trick there is in the book on pleasing others in the kitchen. It seems now that my mother had a schelule and an outline of things that I was to be taught and the experiaences I should have while she was here to look over me. My education started eary and never ceased until she died." ,this made me thing about what life would be like if it was important for my Daughters to learn the stuff of the kitchen and the house hold, if it wasn't just something that needed done but our lifestyle. In my mind it would be better. I wouldn't be so alone and over worked!

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2001