The August 2001 issue of Ebony magazine has an article, "The New Preachers Spouses", with the subtitle: "Some preach, some re doctors, lawyers, and judges". To that list I would also add: "Engineers, executives, laborers, teachers, inventor, etc...". The point is the preacher's spouse could be in any profession rather than the traditional role of "Pastor's Spouse" (whatever that is). My question is this: If your spouse is not the traditional "Preacher's Spouse", how do you handle the problem if your spouse does not have the time or inclination to fulfill the traditional "Pastor's Spouse" role? Knowing that all of us are not clergy, please respond by indicating how you think it should be handled if you are not clergy.

By agreement between us, my spouse does not take the traditional pastors' spouse role. We is a Social Work Supervisor and mother of two small children (11, 13) which is her primary focus. That enables me to focus more attention to my pastoral duties. During the school week, I arrange my schedule to be available to my children and the school allowing her to focus on her job. This arrangement gives our children the benefit of one of their parents 100% of the time and both parents for the remainder. I've had to educate my congregation on this. Many still wish that she would become more active in the church. I just firmly tell them, "By focusing on my children, she allows me to focus on you."

Blessings

Pastor Paris

-- Anonymous, August 07, 2001

Answers

This is surely a very relevant topic. My wife (Violet) is a career diplomat and served in Nigeria during 1991-1995 and the United Kingdom from 1997-2001. She has now returned home, hopefully to be reunited family for about 2-3 years before she gets her next assignment from government. Now I must say that she does that voluntary, and is not compelled to do so by the Namibian government. We are in our late thirties, and most of the time I pastor in the absence of my spouse. My spouse became a member of the AME Church by marriage, and because of her absence from local environments she is still learning the complex issues abd processes of the AME Church. The point I wish to make is that people have received with with love and care, and my ministry was, to my mind, also efficient and effective because I could focus and concentrate on the Call. I must also say that I work fulltime as a Pubic Relations Manager of the National Theatre of Namibia. Traditionally the pastor's spouse was automatically "elected" as the President of the local church's WMS, but thank God for changing times. My idea would be let everybody serve the Lord with gladness in any role he/she selects, without any stress and/or demands. Thank you Pastor Paris and I pray that we can have more people sharing on this one.

-- Anonymous, August 08, 2001