" We are overcasual about friendship because we are overcasual about everything. Friends are our extended family. Their good is inextricably bound up with ours. Our concern for their good is our concern for ourselves. This does not mean that we are here to enable, but it does mean that we are here to care and to care actively. Too many times, we set boundaries that are boundaries against our own willingness to love. What is the purpose of being a friend if we don’t take seriously the responsibility of supporting someone? "

--Marianne Williamson (from her book Healing the Soul of America)

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2001

Answers

From one Dianne to another diane,

Thank you for sharing that thought. We can all benefit from those words.

Wishing you enough.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2001

Soooo perfect Diane!!......Kirk

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2001

Diane,

I always look forward to your posts, and as usual am not disappointed.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

To Kirk:

As sensitive as you are, are you sure you're not a woman trapped in a man's body?

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Thanks again, diane; I have a feeling you like Marianne Williamson as much as I do!

I think its about nurturing each other. Lots of people don't have a clue how to do this; most men especially, which is why its always a wonderful heartwarming experience to meet a nurturing guy. Its just not encouraged in our culture (or many others, for that matter). Another product of sexism, of course.

Someone mentioned on another thread that we are not a support group. Well I guess I don't agree with that. That is exactly what I consider this forum to be, and when it stops being that I will most likely leave. There are few enough places where one can be accepted for whoever they are, and trust that we are all here for the benefit of each other, and that we will not ever intentionally hurt each other.

Love to all,

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Ditto to what you said, Earthmama. This most definitely a "type" of support group. I don't think many of us would be here otherwise. We all talk to very few people as is evident on the other thread about keeping to ourselves. And it's great the we can feel comfortable discussing livestock, gardening, OR personal problems. After all...what are friends for!!! Great post, Diane.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Okay Trev that did it! I'm posting a very manly picture to get my reputation back. I'm off to drink beer and pass gas with the boys!!....Kirk

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Actually Kirk, the pictures I saw of you you looked pretty "manly" to me!!! ;>) Yes EM, Marianne Williamson frequently can put into words what is on my heart. I posted this, not too subtly I suppose, in response to the mentioned thread because I was feeling rather unsure of how people actually felt. I had found the people here to very much be a sort of "support group". In my heart I believe that is why we were all drawn together. Some of the harshness on the forums lately left me feeling not safe to even share the deep grief I have been going through since Monday.

Cindy saved me from being a total jerk Monday night by deleted a post for me. I had just learned of the death of a very dear friend and had not fully realized the extent of my anger at the heath care system until I lashed out really big time here at something.

Val was my ONLY homesteading friend until I came on these forums. She would have loved it, the forum, but had cancer the first time two years ago and was financially really strapped and slightly techno phobic so she enjoyed it vicariously through me since I got on line. She was also my only "civilian" friend........meaning friend outside of my 12 step recovery program. When I sobered up 19 years ago I had used up every friend and was not in the least bit interested in making any.

We met, Val and I, many years ago through the CS mag........we had both had articles in the same issue, her's was a big one and mine was just little, but I wrote to her that I had nubians also. I was pretty new at goats and she became my goat mentor and dear friend over the years. We both suffer from some tendencies to fear being away from home and got to really encourage each other to get out and show our animals and get involved in the state goat group. When we started winning it didn't matter to us which one of us was first, it was just great we were placing and having fun being there together.

Anyway, I sure couldn't share how devestated I was feeling comfortably here. I didn't want Sherri to know because I was afraid she wouldn't come and I was sure that I wanted to meet her. Anyway, I do feel very supported here and would hope that everyone else does as well. Sometimes I think people who tend to isolate do so because they feel too much and it is a protective action.

Hugs too all and believe me this was not a ploy for sympathy. I am just so grateful I had someone like Val in my life for as long as I did. I was so distraught that I really think I was "allowed" a "hug" from her the other day and I am very sure she is near and just in a different form and will be there to giggle and greet me when it is my turn to leave this form. Oh, and I am now VERY SURE that we will be reunited with pets and loved ones in another realm.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Of course I still want to visit you this weekend, but only if it's good for you. I can always come up some other time if you need some alone time this weekend. I'll call you when I get home from work tonight. {{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUG!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Actually Sherri, I have been alone all week and would very much LOVE some company so please come..........now I am sorry I shared it here. (not really but I sure didn't want you to be any LESS comfortable then you already are!!! LOL)

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Diane,

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

"Sometimes I think people who tend to isolate do so because they feel too much and it is a protective action." I believe you hit the nail right on the head with this statement - at least it's true a big part of the time.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Oh its good to hear you talking Diane. You've been in my prayers this week. I started to write you a couple more times, but then something told me to just let you have this time for yourself, to spend it as you know best for you. I have been unable to post things that are very emotional also, as it dosen't take much to get me crying, and then I can't stop. I know when I am really hurting, I need to just let loose when no one else is around, and no one expects anything of me. Does that make any sense?

I have no doubt that you recieved a hug, it has happened to me also, and also when I was in a state such as you were. We get help when we need it the most I believe.

I know you and Sherri will have a wonderful visit this weekend, as I really had fun meeting Polly too. Hey, we're real! Love to ya Sweetie.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001

Oh, Dianne, I love you! You too Sheri! All the rest of you too! Will be sending those hugs((((((((((((0))))))))))))))))right back at ya, !!!!!!. Thinking of you today. Love TRen

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2001