I'm not sure if this belongs in the Philosophy category or not but here goes.

In Tren's thread about her neighbor who seems to dislike her, some posters suggested that the neighbor might be shy. Some mentioned they would keep their car in the barn/garage so people wouldn't know they were home. Or look outside to make sure no one was around before going out to get the mail. Sometimes when I have to go out I'll wear dark glasses and pretend I'm invisible (okay, don't laugh) because I really don't want to chat in the grocery store isles.

I basically just want to be left alone. Are there really others like me out there or am I just weird? Well, I KNOW I'm weird but are there other weirdos out there?

Thanks for reading.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Answers

Yep I am a weirdo,have gates on the driveway and unless I know you are comeing I do not even look to see who is there,caller ID too.I have the yard set up so the areas i am in most are blocked from the neighbors and the road.

My husband is always saying I am anti social,I say I just do not have the time to waste on people I do not have anything in common with.He is the social freak,invites people over all the time,goes out more then me and loves to talk,I prefer the livestock auction and the woods.Its funny that we get along but its helpful too,he takes the kids to the social stuff andd I take them to the woods.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

I've had a low-grade social phobia and panic attacks for pretty much all of my life. It was especially frustrating for my mom, she's a very outgoing person and just couldn't understand why I wasn't. I remember one particular family reunion where everyone else was chatting but I was sitting in the car reading a book, she told me that if I didn't change my ways I'd never have any friends and when I died no one would come to my funeral.

I've been doing much better the past few years, especially since my divorce. ;-) I think that part of it has just been maturity, but a lot of it is because I've been deliberately putting myself into situations to expand my comfort zone. Three years ago I took a job working on a technical support phone line and doing face-to-face customer training, and I discovered that I like teaching. I've recently accepted the position of Spokesperson for a local Pagan education and networking organization, and I'm going to be teaching a workshop on Druidic Herbalism at this year's Pagan Pride Day.

My shyness now is pretty much situational. As I mentioned on Tren's thread, I have a hard time going into my yard if my neighbors are around, I think that's more of a privacy issue. I'm not used to having people living so close to me. I have a very difficult time calling people on the phone and I screen all my calls. The only time I'll go to the front door is if the pizza guy is there. :-) I don't like having people in my house, and I'm starting to get nervous about meeting Diane this weekend. (Don't worry Diane, I'm still coming!) Keith is even more introverted than I am, sometimes we've gone for days without even talking to each other! I'm also scared of my boss and one of my co-workers. But when I'm with a group of people I feel comfortable with I can be very chatty and outgoing. I have a herbal nerve tincture that I take when I get too stressed out that helps a lot.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Wow, something else a lot of us have in common. Perhaps it is one of the reasons we use this medium to communicate??? My husband and I both could go weeks (and have before) without any contact with the outside world and be very content with that. Interestingly enough, I tend to like people for the most part but prefer the company of my animals. Gary and I can go all day with only a little hug to let each other know that we care, but very little verbal communication.

Sherri, I am nervous too!!! This is a real stretch of my comfort zone but I am sure looking forward to it. We, gary and I, both understand.........just say, I need to be alone for a while and it will be done. hugs

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

I don't think that you're weird at all. My opinion is that the reason most folks get into homesteading is because they pretty much want to be let alone to live their lives the way they want to. My husband and I are loners also. We will go out to dinner once in a while and of course we have to force ourselves to go into town occasionally to buy stuff like coffee, sugar, flour, etc. The one place I enjoy going is the feed store!! We are fortunate in the fact that we can't see our neighbors yards...nearest is about 1/2 mi. Our home is pretty much surrounded by woods, which suits me just fine. When I walk down the driveway to get the mail, if I hear a car coming sometimes I'll jump into the woods! How paranoid is that!!?? We do have some people we are friendly with, fellow gardeners or other folks who enjoy fishing as we do. But other than that we pretty much mind our own business!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

I'm so anti-social that my wife bought me a "welcome" mat that reads "GO AWAY!".

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Count me in, when I lived in a trailer park in Arizona eveyone called me the hermit of Hawkeye (the name of the park). I like people and seem to take jobs that force me to be around them, but when I get home I just want to be left alone until I have to go back. I guess that's part of the reason I need to get further out in the country with some acres surrounding me, I'm in a fairly rural place now but still have neighbors close by. That kinda inhibits me from spending as much time outdoors as I'd like, unless I take off to the woods.

I am less shy than I used to be, and sometimes I tend to overcompensate in the other direction and people think I'm truly insane. I can be either the quietest person in the room or the loudest, kinda depends on my comfort level. Anyway, good to see there are others here I can relate to.

Rick

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Jay, That mat is so funny! Tren

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Well, I like people!!! Just on MY terms!!! LOL

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Recent conversation with Mom:

Mom: Did you go to that party you had talked about.

Me: Yep.

Mom: And did you mingle about, talk to any body you didn't know before?

Me: (pause) Nope.

Mom: Why not?

Me: 'cause I gotta be me.

Because I gotta be me. Anti-social, yeah, sometimes, other times not. Depends on my mood. I like spending time just being by myself; lets me look at life without having to think about being good company. I don't have panic attacks in crowded places; I just sometimes prefer something (or someone) else. My immediate family, my wife, my three year old son(I love trying to see life through his eyes). But if anti social is avoiding situations I would rather not be in, okay, I'm anti-social. And love it.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2001