Things a True Southerner Knows:

The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

What general direction cattywumpus is.

That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

The difference between Yankees and damn Yankees.

How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

Knows what "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

Real gravy don't come from the store.

When "by and by" is.

How to handle their "pot likker".

The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

Never to go snipe hunting twice.

At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

What a "Whistle Pig" is.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Answers

Uh oh, I don't know what a Whistle Pig is.....

But I do know how to jerryrig.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

I must be 2/3 Southerner -- I know a lot of these. Of course, my G- Grandparents, Grandparents, and Dad & Aunt spent winters in Alabama and Florida (before it was almost totally snowbirds), so that probably explains a lot.

I thought a whistlepig was a groundhog/woodchuck?

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Jerry used to work for us, and pert' near everything he built was jerryrigged. :-)

What kind of a Southerner am I? I knew enough not to go snipe hunting oncet, eh?

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Oh no, I must have become "Northernized" after all these years. Just realized that it has been a LONG time since I've even thought of a "hizzie" fit and a "conniption" fit - use to use those terms regularly with the children. Have been sitting here laughing and laughing at this list - can't wait to show it to my husband. Do have to admit though that I have never heard of a "Whistle Pig".

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Oh gosh, Sherri, I guess I'm a hillbilly fer sure, I know ALL of these, and, there is a town in WV called Cattywhumpus, not on any RandyMacnally, but, I been there!!!

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Oh, I forgot, if you have ever come up on a groundhog all of a sudden, like you surprised him by coming up over a hill, and he was right there near you, you'll understand why they're called "whistle pigs", they whistle quite loudly, it's an "alarm" thing!

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Know why the tombstones in the Confederate national cemetaries are pointed on top instead of rounded like the ones in Arlington ? The guide on the tour said it was so the Yankees wouldn,t sit on em. :)

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Kentucky to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

As a true-blue, born and bred Southerner living in the frozen North I can tell you that we Southerners do have hissy fits, but Northerners "take a nutty".

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001