I believe that I have an abusive wife but it's difficult for me to ask for help because the last time I did that, I was sent to jail. Charges were dropped after I completed 6 months of counseling. Now I have a record. I feel that my wife manipulates me and is only with me for security reasons. I dont have any proof that she is being abusive except digital voice recording of her having anger outbursts. I'd like so much to get out of this marriage but am afraid because we have a 2 year old daughter (she has 2 other kids from previous relationship and is currently fight custody over her kids). Because of the custody battle, social worker found out that she had been physical with her kids and cps has investigated her and recommended that she take Anger Management and Parenting classes.

She has a petition on me for my green card and if I file for divorce, I could get deported and not see my daughter. The only way for me to be able to stay and keep my petition is to prove that she has been abusive but it is so difficult to do that especially being a man and with a record already.

We took counseling for 2 sessions and the pastor recommended that we take separate sessions. I attended 2 more sessions and was told by the pastor that he cannot help me because I have already made up my mind of leaving. She never attended any of her sessions.

Any help or advices would be appreciated.

Thanks.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2001

Answers

I wish I could really find an answer for you. My brother is in a similar situation except that she's claimed abuse so that she wouldd get her greencard without him. Now She's trying give him a criminal record. She went to get helpful from a battered women's group. She inflicted scratches on herself and I think a bruises. My brother has had filed a comlaint a year ago when she wast doing it to him and she left the house. The police made a joke of the complaint. But when she stated it they helped her. Basically I can tell you when she is assultive and leaves any bruises take pictures, videotape and keep reporting. To get your greencard maybe difficult but let immigration know your situation. Good Luck

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2001