Make up a top ten list... something funny, I mean. Top Ten Reasons YOUR roommate kicks ass, sucks ass, something that has nothing to do with roommates, I don't care. A-muse me.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2001

Answers

1. You won't talk to anyone that doesn't have a playstation. 2. You buy a big screen tv, since your normal one is "just too small." 3. You have more than five memory cards. 4. Each memory card is devoted to one game each, and one only. And they're full. 5. You own more than 4 peripherials for you playstation. 6. And that doesn't include the special rack that holds you games, since they won't fit into normal holders. 7. You buy a tv wall projecter, because you big screen tv is "just too small." 8. You change the "decorative" stickers on your playstation more than once a month. 9. You buy a large, blunt object to defend yourself from N64 owners. Because they know where you live. 10. Your eyes go square like a TDK ad, and you don't notice.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

Top 10 Interesting uses for power cords, or Jeremy has too much time on his hands : 1. You can braid them into plastic rope
2. Melt them into weird art sculpture,
3. Stategically place them underfoot, to trip the unwary,
4. Store them for a rainy day,
5. Plug them into the spare overhead power point in shopping malls, and swing on them like Tarzan,
6. Chew toy decoys for cats, rabbits, dogs and any other pets that likes to chew
7. Paint them different colours and give them away as cheap presents,
8. Choke a smurf with it, or
9. Hide them on the inside of a large jacket. Then flash stanges at random, whispering "Wanna buy a power cord?"
10. Plug them all together, then int a power point and wrap them around yourself. The resulting electrmagnetic field won't allow you to fly, but you can zap anyone who laughs at you into submission using the plug at end of it.


-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

Top 10 Lines overheard at ODU Wrestling house last season.

10. BLAH! 9. Hey George, Did you goto class this week? 8. Hey Jeff, Did you goto class this week? 7. Shit! Someone pay the cable bill, the Sopranos is on tomorrow. 6. Twinkie, the Landlord's here. HIDE! 5. Goddammit, are Twinkie and George watching Jeopardy again? 4. Hey George, have you gotten off the couch this week? 3. Where'd all these kegs come from? 2. ROOF JAMMIE! 1. Twinkie, did you goto class this week?

***I lived at what was dubbed "the wrestling house" at ODU last semester, meaning I lived with three wrestlers at ODU. Jeff, George, and Chad. George pulled a 0.0 GPA...he's not around anymore. I wasn't supposed to live in the house, I just happend to be the mysterious fourth check when bills were paid. Cable was cut off every month, cut back on before the Sopranos. We often had cookouts on the roof, highlighted by my PA system and a micraphone. This house was directly across the street from one of ODU's dorms. George played Final Fantasy 8 24/7.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

I made this one up in Melville class earlier this semester...

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Do Than Be in This Class 10. Hand-deliver fall course selection booklets to each student's house 9. Thumbtack my tongue to the bulletin board 8. Finish digging up the Student Center parking lot with a soup spoon 7. Dip my contact lenses in hot sauce before insertion 6. Rearrange my bowels with a coat hanger. 5. Staple my eyelids open 4. Dust each and every row in the venetian blinds. 3. Carry my desk upon and down the stairs on my back. 2. Perform impromtu lobotomy with pen. 1. Pick the lint of each English Dept. faculty member's entire wardrobe

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

My friend and I did the Top Ten Reasons You Know You're in Fairfax County for the paper. It was the best response we've ever gotten on a Top Ten. It started out at my birthday get-together and we had eight teenagers and eight cars. From there we found: Eight teenagers, ten pieces of Abercrombie clothing; Eight teenagers, nine AIM screen names; Eight teenagers, eight cars; Eight teenagers, seven cell phones; Eight teenagers, six skip school to get coffee; Eight teenagers, five 4.0 averages; Eight teenagers, four recruited athletes; Eight teenagers, three AP classes each; Eight teenagers, two with their natural hair color; Eight teenagers, one communal brain

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

Top 10 Reasons my ex roommate was a psycho and I hated her:

10- She only wore gray clothing, so she "wouldn't have to worry about matching". 9- The only veggies she would eat were potatos and onions 8- She drank Apple Juice 24/7 7- Her shoes were so old, the superglue wasn't holding the soles on any longer 6- She watched the "Dukes of Hazzard" religiously. 5- She asked me questions while I was on the phone 4- She typed up her notes and made copies for her "to keep forever" notebooks 3- I never saw her brush her teeth 2- She read my email 1- She acused me of "stealing" my lamp when I moved out.

What a freaking nut job!

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2001

Wow, it doesn't take much for you to hate someone, does it? I hate people who I don't see brush their teeth, too (and let's get all the Dukes of Hazard watchers commited, quick...)

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

....JUST THE GOOD OL' BOYS.....NEVER MEANIN' NO HARM

I'd just watch yer back if your gonna go to Hazzard anytime soon, ya hear


-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001