Share with us your experience of misplaced trust, or trust gained. Or if you want, you can even tell us of your best friend.

-- Miss Fancy Pants (shh@bestpartsoflonely.com), May 25, 2001

Answers

Rasee, that must have hurt, especially if you felt that the feelings you had for that guy were being returned, only to find that he still liked your friend after all. Some would wonder how come you're still best friends with her now, but I don't. Some times things just are the way they are.

-- Emily (shh@bestpartsoflonely.com), May 31, 2001.

"I said I will never lie to you." With that, ended a beautiful friendship. Ended with my lack of understanding. Ended under the doubtful cloud that I had casted over us.

He also said, "Trust is a very funny thing." It might seem nothing to you, but to me, I finally understand that mistrust is the most hurtful thing a friend can do to another.

He was not my best friend. But he certainly someone whom I hope I still have as a friend today.

-- Pei (quaint@unpretty.net), May 25, 2001.

When I walked down the hall with tears streaming down my face and she didn't give me a second glance.

-- http://static.netkitten.net (static@netkitten.net), May 28, 2001.

In high school I fell for this boy, an ex of my best friend's at the time, and she knew it. I loved him in a way I had never loved anyone and though we weren't progressing into a romantic relationship, he and I had our moments. My best friends was very supportive of my feelings, listening to me talk about him and how it hurt that he and I weren't "together." What I didn't know was she had been having romantic calls with him behind my back and she split with her boyfriend at that time to be with him. All it took was for me to go away for a few weeks for them to get together. When I came back, she called to tell me they were a "couple."

She and I are best friends today after we split up for a long while. There's a part of me that knows she would do the same again, but I love her and because our lives are so different, there is no risk of that happening. She's been with her current boyfriend for two years and I'm in love with someone else. But what happened with her really pushed me back when it comes to trusting people.

-- Rasee (lilwitch@poetic.com), May 30, 2001.

Its weird, I read everything else on Culture Shock, except your editorial, but now that I've finally seen it, its the piece I most click with.

This past Christmas, I lost trust in just about everybody who was close to me. I won't go into the specifics, but in one fell swoop I lost my boyfriend of three years, the place I called home, and very nearly my faith in friendship.

On trust: I haven't regained it. I don't know if I ever will. I am friends with my ex again, and some of the people involved with the incident, but I don't know if it can ever fully be restored, because now I am aware of the capacity for selfishness they possess. I desperately want to be able to trust my ex again, because he and I had so many good times together, but each time I try to give him a piece of my heart again (not romantically, of course, because I could never be in a relationship with him again), I pull back in fear.

On best friends: My best friend was willing to take the blame for the entire group's worth of actions, so that I would not know the full extent of the damage done until I came home from England. She was willing to jeopardize her relationship with me, just to keep me living in the United States. She participated in the selfishness just as much as anybody else, but when it came down to it, she was willing to hang her balls out there and admit to her part in it, and more. Shae's a true friend, and I love her more than words could convey, not because she would never do anything to hurt me, but because she will admit when she's wrong, and take steps to rectify the breach.

-- Louise (eclair@antilove.com), June 06, 2001.

For 7 years I gave her all I had. We were "best friends", and there was no one else. We only had eachother, and I stood up for her every step of the way.

It wasn't until it was over, when I finally ended the torture and the pain, that I found out how, from day one, she talked about me behind my back, she lied about me, laughed at me, and brought her other friends into my house and actually stole from me.

She was a toxic of the worst kind. And I trusted her for so long with so much when I shouldn't have.

I was happy to get rid of her, and now I'm with my boyfriend, and I know for sure, this is someone I can totally trust.

-- Irma (aeroangyl@yahoo.com), July 29, 2001.

One day I was talking to your mom and she said i ate too much cheese. I swear I'm going to slap her.

YOUR MOM!!!!

-- mr. Rogers (hock_tardo@yahoo.com), March 14, 2002.