OK folks, Beth asked for posts, and here you go.

I'm going to New York on Thursday night, because wonder of all that is heavenly and pure in this world, Ricky Martin is going to be on the Today Show with my man, Matt Lauer.

I *LOVE* Matt and Ricky. So starting at 7am Eastern time, I will be the nutty Chinese woman screaming her ass off in Rockefeller Center. If you'd like, please view. If you'd like to join us, well, we'll be there at 4:30am, bright and early.

Did I mention that I love Ricky Martin and Matt Lauer? I am SUCH a teenager! Bwah!

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Answers

Dear Claire,

Will you leap on his back and then lick him up and down for me?

Yours sincerely,

Jen

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

I am so glad that I got a TV at work. I can't tell you. I'll be the crazy lady in the glasses waving at you from the TV screen.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

You need some sort of secretary, or personal assistant, or a person to watch TV with? Willing to move to california, pets okay.

Claire, are you staying the day? Are you staying overnight? Or will you ride in, undress him with your hot eyes, and then head out of town?

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Well, it's just one of these little forty dollar TVs, and supposedly they catch on fire sometimes. (I always unplug it when I leave.) But as soon as I can afford a personal assistant, you've got the job. I'll start saving up chores for you.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Fire, schmire. I will begin saving up to walk across the country and be your assistant. Just keep in mind that I don't know the alphabet, and also, I don't have thumbs.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Jen - I am not staying in the city, unfortunately. I was just in the city last week and week before last, and I have to be at work by noon in CT.

So yes, a quick rubbing of the men will have to suffice for now.

And Beth, I shall channel your spirit for my dear Ricky and Matt. I'll figure something out so you all can see me in my loveliness.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Umm, not to rain on your Matt Lauer parade, but have you seen that guy blink? He's got little white circles on his eyelids. Tanning bed injury, apparently. Freaky. And like all TV personalities, short little guy. Sorry.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2001

Tom, I appreciate your sentiments, but I love me some Matt Lauer any way I can get it.

I am an equal opportunity enthusiast. He will always be beautiful in my eyes...

Beth, may I retain your services in advance should I be arrested for stalking?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2001

Sure, but be careful to stalk him all the way to California. I'm not licensed in New York. You'll have to talk to Tom if you get stopped at the border.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2001

WELL?!?!

What no update? I need to know... did lil' Ricky get a licky? Did Lauer's tan swoon his fans?

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2001

I'm taking advantage of Beth's semi-plug to post this here. As of tomorrow morning the e-mail addresss listed above will be obsolete (although my office will not move). I am going to take that opportunity to retreat to semi-anonymity because it's easier to post in a web forum with some veils over your true identity. Those of you in the know will likely recognize me, although the new character will not admit it here.

I will be using my own domain name and a screen name. For you old-timers, if you're not sure whether it's me, just e-mail the new address and ask. I'm not planning on developing a new personality, after all. Enjoy the weekend.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2001

Alas, apologies for leaving you all in the lurk :)

I did go see Ricky and Matt. Sadly, I did not get to touch them, despite my many wishes and desires to do so.

And then, this weekend, Matt Lauer's wife had to have that baby of theirs. Damn the man.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001