I searched the archives for a discussion on how to deal with aweful neighbors. The kids next door tried crawling under my fencing to harrass my horses, peel out in front of my house, yell obsenaties, and all kinds of stupid stuff. I brushed it off until they tried to scare my horse while I was riding by. I went over and said hi. The young man in a car said he knew who I was, why I was there and started getting mouthy and threatening before I could even respond. I drove back later to see if the parents were home yet and they chased me into my yard with rocks. I threatened to shoot them if they came one step closer with those rocks so they called the cops to report me for threatening them with a gun. The cop said they lied to her and not to go back because the parents are just as bad. I don't think it will end there, so I need ideas on how to protect my property and myself.

-- Epona (crystalepona2000@yahoo.com), May 08, 2001

Answers

Response to Need help finding a thread

Go to the older threads and select the most likely categories (probably Homesteading-General or Social Issues. Then do a Control F at the same time. Once you get the pop-in box, search on neighbor.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), May 08, 2001.

Response to Need help finding a thread

A video came can do a lot in tresspass and harassment cases. If the horses are being threatended then go to animal control and let them deal with the people.

-- Gary (gws@redbird.net), May 08, 2001.

Response to Need help finding a thread

Thanks, Ken, I found a few of them. Hi Gary, happened to have the video cam out today recording when they drove by in their unregistered car and flipped me the bird. They are sad excuses for youth.

-- Epona (crystalepona2000@yahoo.com), May 08, 2001.

Response to Need help finding a thread

Good fences are also indicated, but expensive. Some people have tried large dogs, others keep geese to deal with trespassers. The video suggestion is your best bet, and animal control sometimes seems to have a lot more clout than people cops!

-- seraphima (djones@kodiak.alaska.edu), May 08, 2001.

Gee do they sound like a pain in the neck!! I don't want to put fear or panic into you but they sound like the type of people that will keep being jerks at every level. I'd be very careful so the brats couldn't feed the horse anything. You never know what they'll put in it. We had a very nice german shepherd that someone went to the fence while we were gone and gave him some type of poison. Dog died hours later. Vet said it was poison of some sort. Never knew who did it. Good Luck!!

-- Pat (mikulptrc@aol.com), May 09, 2001.

A gorgeous, non-toxic and unfortunately very expensive way to reinforce the fence would be with roses....

Before you consider the following, be aware that they could escalate things to an even worse level. Some folks will consider these a challenge.

How far inside your property line is the fencing?? You would have to check the local laws on this, but a little trip wire goes a long way and is very inexpensive, so long as it inside your property and your animals have no chance of escaping and thus getting hurt.

I ran one through the middle of bushes planted along the property line - honeysuckle - right at ankle height. The bushes get to be over 10 foot tall and very thick, but they have to be pruned yearly to keep them that way... Privet might work, or arbor vitae - even the roses.

Start calling the cops every time something happens. Become a pain in their collective butts. AND - keep that camera ready... Proof is in the puddin' so they say! Also, post no tresspassing signs. They won't do you any good except for if you eventually have to go to court. Without them, all the video in the world won't stand up.

Its pretty bad when the cops say the parents are as bad as the kids... Must have had these problems with them before.

BTW - the cops are REQUIRED to go over there when you voice a complaint - even if it does no good, they still have to go. Make sure they do, or file a formal complaint against the neighbor AND the cop.

-- Sue Diederich (willow666@rocketmail.com), May 09, 2001.

Hi Sue, I mentioned to the hubby that we should string barbed wire real low through the bushes along our property line on their side. The bushes are thick enough that I would not have to plant more.I was thinking of hooking tin cans up to it as well so the horses will run if someone trips on it. We do have a dog, but he likes everyone. Thanks for the suggestions.

-- Epona (crystalepona2000@yahoo.com), May 09, 2001.

It sounds as though games of oneupmanship would only result in progressively ugly results.

Can you find it in your heart to try to phone the parents? Not as a challenge or complaint, but as a caring neighbor who is confused about the children's behaviour, perhaps wording it in such a way as to inquire if you did anything to offend them that you are unaware of, something that could perhaps shed some light on why they are targeting you? Perhaps if somewhat took a nonthreatening, non- defensive tone with them, it would soften their hearts, and you could get to the source of this family's pain?

People who behave in these kinds of ways usually have self-worth issues, and have never learned there are more personally constructive ways to interact with others. Perhaps they have been sent to you so that you can be their example of how compassion can change lives.

just a different perspective.......

Blessings,

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), May 09, 2001.

Earthmama, I appreciate your reasoning and normally I'm the first to think of things from that angle, but considering all I said was "Hi" in a very casual, non-confrontational way and was threatened for it, and then went back to ask if I could make peace only to have rocks thrown at me, I'd say any efforts at friendly discussion would get me beat up. The cop made it clear that the parents were worse. If they can't be respecful to a cop, I doubt they'd consider being respectful to me. Seeing as I have never even laid eyes on the parents, I don't believe I personally could have done anything significant enough to warrent the ongoing harrassment these kids have bestowed upon me for the last year. Upon learning that these kids are unsupervised and quit school at 14 and 15 yrs old, I'd say the parents don't really care what their kids are doing. The 15 yr old girl's 20 yr old boyfriend lives with them and is an unemployed ruffian. I previously had only met the youngest kid when his friend referred us to him because we were looking for help with yard work and he's the one trying to crawl into our horse pasture. I can't see their place from mine because the bushes are so thick. We are talking about people with such chips on their shoulders that a woman home alone all day with three little ones looks like fair game for their answer to 'nothing better to do'. The teens on this road rob the local store and throw rocks through people's windows for fun. They chase horses out into the road to watch the cars swerve away from them. One teen picked up my friend's cat right in front of her daughter and threw it at an oncoming car. That little girl watched her cat maliciously killed. Does not sound like the type of people who would take a kind heart seriously. More than likely, they'd offer to come over for coffee under the guise of conversation so they could rob you. While I appreciate your sentiment, I would prefer to prepare to defend my self than play sitting duck. Nobody is trying anykind of one-up- manship. I'm looking for suggestions on protection. Unless locking your doors at night is trying to one-up my neighbor, there's no hint of my trying to get back at them or gain revenge. Where you got that impression is beyond me!

-- Epona (crystalepona2000@yahoo.com), May 09, 2001.

Epona, I'm sorry if I wasn't clearer; I wasn't at all inferring that YOU were trying to do any of those things.....just a gentle nod to the helpful people who had contributed to this thread....

wow, I am constantly amazed at what lousy neighbors people have on this forum; I just can't believe it! I guess I've lived a charmed life; lived in about 25 different places in my life, in four states, and never ever had any such experiences. what a bummer.....

if people are endangering others safety and seem to have no humanity left, and the law inexplicably does nothing, I guess I'd move.

Best of luck to you, Epona

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), May 09, 2001.

Epona, you have my sympathies, we had neighbors only half this bad and we moved because of them! Was the only way to effectively solve the problem! Now we have no neighbors within a half mile and own both sides of the road so there will be no new neighbors ever. Before we moved here we went and met all the folks up and down the dirt road where we now live, and did not sign the papers till we were satisfied that we could happily live here in harmony with the others. This is a very, very rural area and such type behavoir is not tolerated out of anyone, rural folks have a very different attitude towards other folks and actually still repect others, young and old alike.

Sometimes moving is the only answer! But be very fussy where you do move to!

-- Annie Miller in SE OH (annie@1st.net), May 15, 2001.

Annie, thank you very much for the moving suggestion. Trust me, I've been bringing it up, but the hubby won't even consider it. I objected to buying this house in the first place because I had heard about the teens on this road, but the hubby doesn't believe it could ever happen to him. He's hardly ever here to even see it. He works 10 hour days, goes back in nights and weekends and when he's not doing that, there is racing to tend to. He's not the protective type either. He was assaulted and refused to defend himself or me, so I had to jump on this six foot tall guy's back to get him to stop pounding the hubby in the face. It will be up to me to take my kids and go. I'm saving up the money, though. Until then I have to look out for myself and kids. You had better believe the neighbors will be the first thing I check out when I move!

-- Epona (crystalepona2000@yahoo.com), May 15, 2001.

Epona....... My heart goes out to you and your family. Sounds like you all are just trying to do what me and my family are trying to do......just live our lives!!!! We too have bad neighbors. It's quite the 'situation' here for us too. My boyfriend has gotton in their faces. We have two small children. We are all wiser than these bad neighbors. But... It doesn't stop these morons from continuing to be maliiously evil. They have nothing else to live for (...) Money is scarce for us. Moving would create a hardship right now. We are on "OPERATION LOW-PROFILE" right now. We are not reacting to them AT ALL. We avoid them completely. If they try getting into our face, we are completey UNINTERESTED. To the point where they are getting absolutely NOTHING from their actions. NOTHING.No, it isn't easy. But, hey, we do not want to BECOME these people, do we? I have been searching my soul for a way to deal with this and still retain a good character. This is all I can do right now...until our financial situation improves. We pray alot too. You know, "Let go and let God."If you believe in a higher power, it makes complete sense. Otherwise, try to maintain control at all times. Be angry, but don't show it (give them amunition)- Be afraid, but don't show it (empower them). Don't give them free rent in your head!!! We wish you the best. Peace & Love, Donna

-- Donna Rego (darkhorse1396@earthlink.net), February 14, 2002.

The "Bad Neighbor" seems to affect many people. Just the fact that so many people type in the words "Bad Neighbor" on the web search simply because it's something they are dealing with tells me it can feel like a hopeless situation for others too. Most of us want to walk in peace, in a non-confrontational way. Others don't. Understanding the minds of these restless souls would take years of training (a degree...). Being STUCK with a bad neighbor....well....this is basically a type of civil unrest. It feels like a war of conquest. It's a bad situation. Epona spoke about her desire to protect her family and property. When a family gets to this point, the system has failed them completely. The system failed me and my family. We are on our own. We are stuck with our bad neighbors until we are able to move. We have two kids, 10, and 7. The police have been called over and over. It does no good. The bad neighbors are the (mis-)management team on the property we live on. We have called, written, begged, and pleaded with the property owners to replace these hoods and thugs they employ. The property owners, who work with, or for, Century 21, refuse to look into it, or to return our calls/letters. At one point I became so terrorized by these people, I found one of the property owners home phone number on a phone number search web site, and I called his home. He had a secretary call me the same day to tell me he called the police because my calling his home felt like a threat to him and his family. He had her tell me he would put a restraining order on me if I called him anymore. Now, doen't that sound like he feels exactly the way I do? I scared HIM? What a joke. What a coward. Hee hee. Perhaps my knowing this real estate geek is out there worried about himself, and his family is his Karma! He doen't care. Most of these property owners don't. We are on our own. The scenario isn't much different if you own your own home. It is still a real hasstle to relocate. Although, property owners seem to get more respect from city, and government officials, than renters do. Start building a case as soon as you can. If you have to be stuck, then document as much as possible. We have a right to the quiet enjoyment of our property, wether we rent or own. Neighbors can be legally held accountable for disturbing that quiet enjoyment, as much as property owners can. Credibility is the key... It is our responsibility to learn the laws and ordinances and such. We should all be thirsty for this knowledge! All we should ever NEED a lawyer for is litigation purposes. We should know everything else. Esp. if you are having legal problems. Start researching. Get knowledge. Knowledge is a weapon... Epona mentioned the fact that she felt the need to protect herself with a gun. Well, that's a weapon too... Sad to say weapons that kill are an option for some. We are hanging in. The world is still a beautiful place. Don't give up. Donna

-- Donna R. (darkhorse1396@earthlink.net), February 15, 2002.

Donna R., you have every right to call the owner if the management is not doing its job. I would disagree about owners having more rights than renters though--some states are renter-friendly to the point that landlords have no rights.

Video and constantly calling the police (keep track of all the calls) are your best bet. If they don't do anything, you can always escalate to your local paper or TV news--a lack of police response is always a good news story.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), February 15, 2002.