Step One: You send me a big box of money.

Step Two: Um, I guess that was it.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

Answers

Oh, man! I am totally sold! I'm packaging up my big box o' money as we speak.

Has anyone here ever fallen for a get rich quick scheme? Feel free to post anonymously to tell us how you got screwed.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

I'll send you a big box of money if you let me blow on your trombone and play with your dollies.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

I was hoping for another yeast infection discussion.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

No, but when I was little I did once order the toy army men advertised on the back cover of a comic book. The "over 100 pieces" promised turned out to be about 60 misshapen green lumps of plastic with something that might have been weaponry sticking out at about the midpoint, and 41 brown misshapen lumps of plastic. One of those brown lumps was very clearly meant to be a Jeep, but the wheels were of one piece with the body.

I was very disappointed. I cried tears of rage that day and swore to get my revenge on the cheats who had taken two weeks of my allowance. And that, children, is how I rose from nothing to become the attorney I am today.

Note that I am doing this sober. It has been a very long day.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

Once when I was living in Tucson and flat fucking broke I did call one of those "Make $2000 a week, call this number" things. They are pretty vague on the number and sell you a lot of bullshit and then say you have to send them $10 for an information packet to get started. I sent them the ten bucks. I got the packet and realized it was a load of crap. Basically you sell crappy how-to publications for them. People (in theory) give you money, you then pass most of that money on to them with the customer's address, and they send out the book. They suggested as a sales strategy that you place ads in the National Enquirer.

If only I had that ten bucks right now, I could go get an Elysian Burger and an IPA.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2001

Back in 1978 or so I read an ad for a book that sounded too good to be true. For only $10-$15 (I can't remember exactly how much) this book would show me how to get everything I ever wanted. I took $10- $15 of my paper route money and sent in my order for "The Lazy Man's Way to Riches." I waited in anticipation.

After the book arrived it didn't take me long to recognize that I'd been scammed. The book detailed what amounted to a two step strategy:
1. Write down everything you want from life.
2. Don't lose sight of your goals.

I mean, the book basically amounted to "wish really hard." I was pissed, although I had obviously learned a valuable lesson.

I recently looked the book up on Amazon and was a little surprised to actually find it. I was amazed to see it has a five star rating!!!!! And nothing but glowing reviews. Those have got to be plants.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2001

Rob, my friend,.......get a job.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2001