I am going through a divorce right now , I am leaving because of domestic abuse. Right now the court has issued supervised visitation for my ex when he sees our child. Right now for the temporary hearing the judge has to decide if it will continue to be supervised. Do you think since it already has been supervised that more than likely it will continue that way? I have a protection order for myself and my children until Feb. of next year. I just want an opinion if you think the visitation will continue to stay supervised. Anything to reassure me.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2001

Answers

What state do you live in? I reside in California, and the legal system here believes that the biological parent should have visitation rights even if child abuse and dv is proven. The whole goal of Family Court Services is to get to the point of UNsupervised visitation...Look into your laws of your state. You need to fight with everything you have, contact your local dv center for help with legal advice...Good luck...MJ

PS...if you are in CA, I have played the systematic legal game for over 2 years and I can offer support and ideas...feel free to email me.

-- Anonymous, January 30, 2002

I also live in California. I think however, that it depends where you live. Although I agree that the courts would like to go to UNsupervised visitation, it depends how you play the system and what county you are in and the judges you face.

My husband has been on supervised visitation with his 6 year old for 4+ years. The downside for us is that SHE (the ex-wife) was convicted of a crime against a child but continues to play the system and get away with it. He was found factually innocent (Basically she threw out accusations but they didn't stick in criminal court, but they did in Family Law) but he is suffering without normal interaction because his ex is VERY bitter.

Honestly I believe the courts try to get UNsupervised, but if you can use the system to your advantage, the outcome is always up in the air. Just try to report anything he does. Have your monitors write it all down. That is the only way to beat it regardless of what direction you are coming from. (It's what is helping us, but in your case may help you.)

Good luck.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2002