It's not bad enough that a dentist just removed two teeth with garden implements. It's not bad enough that my gums are so sore and raw that merely coughing can start them to bleeding again.

WE MISSED THE KNOB CREEK MACHINE GUN SHOOT!

http://www.machinegunshoot.com/

That link isn't responding this morning, but I have it on good authority that Redneck Heaven occurred between April 6 and 8 this year. From last year's brochure:

All visitors enter Knob Creek Property at their own risk! It is public knowledge that the dynamite charges sometimes blow debris into the spectator area. Hearing and eye protection are strongly recommended ...

Machine gun and flame thrower rentals [are] available" and "the shooting of tracers WILL BE ALLOWED (weather permitting)!

YEEEE-HAAAAHHHHHH!

Now THAT's Family Entertainment!

(Eatcher heart out, Disney!)

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2001