Well, as it seems, most guys my age (18) and even up to about 25, would rather play computer games than spend time out under the sun digging in the soil. So I'm realizing that if I'm going to do this homesteading thing I've been dreaming about since I was 10, I might have to do it alone.Now I know I can't just go out and make it happen right away. I'm currently just saving money. Anyone on this site start a homestead on their own? The Nearings say not to even attempt it alone, but it seems unfair that I should be expected to live in the cramped city just because I couldn't find anyone interested in trying it with me. So any suggestions would be a huge help! Thanks!

-- Elizabeth (Lividia66@aol.com), April 04, 2001

Answers

Elizabeth- There is nothing about homesteading that you can not do if you want to do it, either alone or with a helpmate. Start from where you are at and learn as much as you can about what you would like to do. Saving money and staying out of debt is a wonderful first step. You can learn how to cook from scratch, crafting skills, canning, container gardening etc. even in the city. I have homesteaded alone in the country, in the city and as a single mother with three kids. It really is a state of mind first of all. The Nearings are some people to read about and learn from, but no one can tell you not to try except you. Good luck and just jump in. This site is a good start. Lots of good stuff in the archives to keep you learning and thinking.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

I've just about resigned myself to doing it alone... No one else I know seems terribly interested. I'm also going to have to stay in Oklahoma, even though I would prefer to move north to a more mild climate. My recently-widowed mother needs me close by now, and she will never agree to move somewhere out of state.

-- Brett (brettinokla@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

I have had a few thoughts. I wanted- since I was around 8 or nine- to live self sufficiently in the woods. Homesteading became an option when I turned 18 or so. Homesteading without a partner is better than homesteading with a partner who could care less about the homesteads operation. Seems like quite a few of the people I have read accounts of have had divorces... I wonder if that isnt the reason- one partner gung ho and the other ho hum=)... if you know what I mean. Not only does the person who wants to live self sufficiently have to do all the work, he/she also has to contend with a partner who hates it when he/she is out back in the garden instead of at the mall shopping. Hang in there, and go it alone for as long as you need to! There is no reason for anyone not to do what they want... and, while I found the Nearings books interesting, they arent the bible. (ok, so I am building a stone house, but I am not giving up eating meat altogether). Good Luck!!

-- kevin (vantravlrs@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

Ive learned,, to take things slow and easy,, if you try to much at once,, it can overwhelm you,, and make you say,, the heck ith it,, if you do something new,, do ALOT of research

-- stan (sopal@net-port.com), April 05, 2001.

Just do it! Being alone is hard at first; but once you get accustom to it, it is the best way to live. Take with you all the skills you can gather including a method of selfemployment. Leave behind the greatest problem DEBT. Marry your land first, marry a spouse last. I'm three times older and in bad health, I'm going it alone.

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

I'm twice as old and doing it myself. I only am a part timer as I still have a 40+ job, but I could give that up and be close to self sufficient here. I truly don't believe there is anyone that can be completely self sufficient, self reliant is a term that I find more correct.

It gets difficult sometimes. Especially on the heavy lifting things and sometimes it's really good to get a second opinion on projects, but most things aren't life and death scenarios so be assured that although you research and plan to the best of your ability there will be mistakes, but you will learn from them. Actually the times when I've had an animal injure themself and needed a hand to help hold them have been the most difficult times to have no one be around to help. Othertimes it amazes me how I have figured out ways to have three sets of hands and things like that, certainly can be a challenge. It's entirely possible to do this alone and it is a real character builder!

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@excite.com), April 05, 2001.

Elizabeth, Don't ever let somebody take your dream from you and DON'T COMPROMISE!!!

All this advise has been good so far, learn as much as you can and sock away as much money as you can.

I still have an "outside" job inthat I write for two newspapers but my office is at home which helps a lot. Even tho I am married, the majority of the homestead things I do ALONE. Husband grew up on a chicken and cow farm and he just doesn't understand anything I'm trying to do. He will help in some of the building projects but he's just not enthused about any of it.

He did finally go into a home-based handyman business last June and now says he wished he'd done that 10 or 20 years ago....so we're making progress now. He worked 10-12 hour days, often 7 days a week, away from home so much when the kids were little. Now they're grown and gone. And he can't get that time back.

I've heard about divorced moms that homesteaded and even homeschooled by themselves.

If you want something bad enough you can make it happen. It won't be easy but nothing worthwhile in life is.

-- Suzy in Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

Elizabeth,

Go for it! You need to follow your heart and dreams. Research, use this site and others to firm up what you want, then go after it. That may involve working a conventional job in order to buy your land and things to get you started....but you'll be going home to what you love. A partner needs to share (or at least not discourage) your desires. Good luck! Enjoy your life.

-- Deborah (bearwaoman@Yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

Hi Elizabeth,

Good for you. I left home right after school and struck out on my own, I was on my own for years, and everyone thought I would out-grow it. I didn't.

How about some of those organic farms that take interns? Boy, if I was 18 again that is what I would do. Some of them hire you, so you could continue to save while you learned. Talk about learning the ropes, you could learn first hand about how to make a LIVING at it right off the bat. Gosh, I would spend one year on a organic farm, the next year on a goat dairy, the next year growing mushrooms, the next year working with mules, growning hay, learning to blacksmith, and on and on!! And take the time to figure out what you really are good at and love. And just think, where better to meet a homesteading guy!! Don't let anyone talk you out of what you know you want. Be very choosy about your future life mate. And yes, you can do anything you want alone!

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@hotmail.com), April 05, 2001.

Cindy gave excellent advice. One thing you definitely can do alone is learn! Don't let being alone become a crutch to not doing things. Just take on one thing at a time. Make up a short-range and long-range plan, i.e. this year you will learn how to plant a garden and then go volunteer with a local organization that is putting in a neighborhood or seniors garden. They will teach you what to do and you put in the labor. Besides, you will meet a lot of nice people. Take a course on livestock management at your local university or whatever it is you want to learn. Make a point of learning three things a year or five things a year or whatever but set a goal and stick to it. You will soon see that you are able to do a lot of things by yourself. Meanwhile, save, save, save money. It is much easier to be frugal when there is only you to worry about. You will be amazed at how a nest egg can grow. By the time you have learned enough skills, you will have enough money to start out. Just do it. A lot of times the learning is in the doing. I wish I had done this when I was your age. I have been lucky in that I followed a career that has kept me contented and given me the money to do the things I want, and I am also lucky in that I found a husband who has grown to like this kind of living as much as I do, in fact, I would say he is probably surpassing me in that dream now. He just keeps taking on new projects every year. Good luck and please follow your dream. You don't need a man to do that and the right man will be impressed with your independence when he does come along later.

-- Colleen (pyramidgreatdanes@erols.com), April 05, 2001.

Elizabeth;

Go for it! My only advice is to start out small. Go to all the fairs and farmers markets you can and talk to the people growing food and animals. Many fairs have historical sections where people demonstrate old time techniques. You can only learn so much from books and they leave as many questions unanswered as answered. The time and labor required to be self sufficient in the country is always WAY more than you anticipate. I work a full time job to pay the mortgage and my wife tends the daily farm chores. I'm taking this week off with vacation to catch up on farm maintenance. I could take the whole month off and not get to everything that needs to be done. We have five acres with a boarding kennel, Nubian Dairy Goats, Boer Meat Goats and Bees. In addition to all the farm work, I'm trying to remodel the basement. Not enough hours in the day.

Start small, learn from others who are actually doing it, and learn how to study time and motion efficiency. Time and health are the most important resources on the homestead. The successful homesteader learns to be time efficient. There have been some articles in the magazine recently on this subject. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

-- Skip Walton (sundaycreek@gnrac.net), April 05, 2001.

Elizabeth, I'm in the same boat as you. with the exception that I'm 29. I too am saving up for a future homestead (would love to move to AK). There is always a way and I don't think you have to have to settle for finding a mate to share your dreams. It might be nice to have one to support your dreams, but not neccessarily share them. If you are trying to jump into a homestead whole hog and can't do it, then I'd suggest that you ease into it. Maybe find a place 30 minutes outside of town and start with a nice garden and some animals-nothing fancy. I'm living in Boise and working about 50hrs a week retail.

I like my job and it will help me save the cash I need (maybe even move me to AK). In the meantime I'm starting a garden and managed to find a place with an abundace of blackberry bushes (I was able to turn about 8 gallons of berries into jelly, syrup, and wine last year). It's not what I want to end up with, but it's a start until I move on to something better. I

It'll happen, just not tomorrow....

-- Chris Stogdill (cstogdill@rmci.net), April 05, 2001.

Wow! Thank you all so much for the overwhelming support and encouragment! It really helps! I've read just about every book in our public library about gardening and animal husbandry and even worked on a small dairy farm for the better part of a year. I really feel like I'm getting a good start on things! Thank you all so much!

-- Elizabeth (Lividia66@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

My son is having the same problem. None of the girls around here seem to be interested in the country life. My son works for a neighbor who is almost 30 and unmarried. He told my son none of the girls want to marry a farmer. My sons boss has commercial laying houses. I know being a boy may make things easier, but son is going to start out on his own. He has even bought an 8x10 building to move to my parents old place which I own. He is planning to build on to it as he has money. Maybe when he gets it fixed up nice the rest of us will move home to. He he!!For Christmas he told everyone he wanted lumber. Not the typical teen request. He did get several gift cards from Lowes and used them to help buy his first chainsaw. Just hang on to your dreams Elizabeth. Make them happen one step at a time.Who knows at one of those fairs or farmers market you just might find Mr. Right. It could happen.

-- Susan (mdefran@cei.net), April 06, 2001.

'lizbeth - your story sounds familiar. 1. Nothing wrong with being alone - wish I had figured that out when I was 18. 2. If anything, I find it easier to homestead by myself because I can pretty much do anything I need to whenever I want - just be sure you start off nice 'n easy and don't overwhelm yourself with things you can not turn back, like getting a milk cow or something too soon. 3. You go ahead and DO this, and then it is a part of you, and the guys/men, whatever, who are interested in you later will also be those who are interested/attracted to what you are doing and more likely to share it with you. 4. I myself have found this more important to my peace of mind and happiness than relationships with women who did not feel the same way about my lifestyle.

-- Eric Deci (ehd1958@yahoo.com), April 08, 2001.

im gonna do it too, with or without.am alone due to what i want from life. thought noone else felt the same. drop a line well swap stories

-- john laprocina (glide61@aol.com), July 15, 2001.