I visited a friends house recently and commented on how many nice things he owned. He said they were mostly his wifes purchases. He only had a few things here and there around the house. That caused the other guys to say that after they were married there wives got rid of there things one at a time until most of the house had stuff she liked.

Then I talked to my sister who has never visited my house. I said since my wife does the cooking we eat what my in laws eat. The food she grew up on. Good thing I like that kind of food. Tho my sister has never been to my house she has spent a lot of time at my in laws and was able to describe my place very well.

Last week I helped a friend move and noticed that as we put his new place together it was going up in a femine decore before my very eyes. Fake flowers everywhere. I knew he would maybe get a room or the garage to decorate his way.

In each of these cases this happens with no word of protest from the man. We go along willingly. Is it this way at your house. If so how do you think the wifes tastes get to be dominant in the home.

In Christ, Nathan Paujo

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2001

Answers

HI, Nathan. My mom and dad pick art out together. They always talk about what they want to buy or trade for. They plan everything together, so I couldn't say either one is more "dominant." The only flowers in our house are the ones my dad gives my mom, and some wheat and dried flowers from a renaissance booth she had. If I ever get married, and my husband wants fake flowers, he will just have to go out and buy them himself. I hate the things.

-Hannah

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2001

Hi Nathan, When you are actively involved in decision-making in your home you will automatically be involved in whatever takes place within the home and it normally is a reflection of bnoth of u. However I also believe that my husband is the head of the household and I am the head of the home. So what I am saying is this,my husband takes care of the home by being the provider,trustee,etc.& I take care of the home by being the homemaker,nurturer,etc.I also know what my husband likes and dislikes because we have been journeying together for some time (even if someone reading this has only been married 1 year). About 3 years ago we bought our second home and all the decorating was done by me. My husband was please. So my advise to you is spend some more quality time with her and maybe she will learn your likes and dislikes and then also allow her to be the head of the home. Get to know each other. Be blessed my brother.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2001

Hi Nathan well I must comment on this as follows. Usually men are so laxed about interior decor and the like. This is evident say if you're to visit the average bachelors' home. So when u marry it is expected that the lady will take over Infact the appearance of a home is a huge credit for the Lady. Thats' why she totally takes over. If a home is messy, do u ever hear the man being blamed? Secondly on the issue of food, she will definately cook how she knows and what she knows 'cos anyway thats' what she knows. The advice I would like to give u is make time with her , or use potential opportunities to share with her yr tests and preferances so you can both compromise here and there. You could even teach her some of those dishes u like. Do not be shy about this. After all she is yr partner, for better or for worse.....remember. God bless u as you work this out

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2003