Hello to my Internet Church Family, I would like to know your opinions about romantic relationships between men and women. Do you think that "falling in love" is a divine matter or is it on par with lust? Do we have any decisions in the matter as to who we fall in love with in relationships? Is it a pre-requisite to marriage?

JazzMan

-- Anonymous, March 02, 2001

Answers

Having been married twice, I see two aspects of this. The first marriage, we fell in love and got married, had two children and fell out of love, raised the children and finally divorced. Prior to the second marriage, I prayed this prayer, "Lord, send me a mate and give me the wisdom to recognize her when You do." About six months later I met my wife, Sara. Engaged in two weeks, married in six months and two 13 years and two children [Courtenay & JohnPaul] later, we are deeply in love and the Lord is foremost in our lives. With the Lord in your life, marriage is wonderful.

Blessings

Pastor Paris

-- Anonymous, March 02, 2001

Great question!! This is something which needs to be discussed in open forums. The alleged pop diva Tina Turner sang a popular tune in the 80s called "What's Love Got To Do With It?". Notwithstanding that this artist is in my opinion extraordinarily overrated as both performer and singer, her rhetorical question encourages a trivialization of human emotion. Unlike some ancient and present societies, in this country human emotion expressed by love is highly valued. "Falling in love" is the necessary process to determine whether mutual compatibility exists. In the Book of Genesis the writer describes Jacob as tearful when he initially beheld his bride- to-be Rachel. Boaz's courtship of Ruth describes a process which begins with benevolent intenttions, moves to romantic curiosity and culminates in the legalistic status of the kinsman oath. In short, Brother Boaz got his woman!! Most importantly, the most misunderstood and least read book in the entire Bible, Song of Solomon, is a divinely inspired ballard exhorting heterosexual passions and sensual arousal. Unlike the purintanical overtones in the New Testament, Old Testament theology is not bashful in describing sex, sexuality and marriage. I am convinced the Old Testament is unambiguously clear on the topic of love and marriage. We can therefore reject Tina Turner's hip-hop thesis and conclude that love matters very much. QED

-- Anonymous, March 02, 2001

Hello Jazzman. I think that finding God's person for you comes in two stages. One stage is attraction. It could be physical, intellectual, spiritual, or a combination. The more the better. The second part is God speaking to you, telling you this is the one. I believe either attraction or God speaking could come first, and it will be followed by the other. I would always go slowly until I have both. This worked for my marriage.

In Christ, Nathan Paujo

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2001

I know that I was praying for a godly mate. My wife was praying for a godly mate. We let go and let God do the rest.

You **always** have a decision in relationships: Follow God or follow your desires. We counsel many couples who fought God in the dating process. God told them, "no", but they went right on ahead, and got into trouble.

A strong relationship with God is essential before committing to another person. This is why so many of our people get into trouble; they start off unequally yoked.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001