Hello,

I live in a very large city. I have imagine myself living in the country. It appears to be so serene. If you have lived it or are currently living it, are there any outstanding negatives: loneliness, isolation, expense, etc?

-- Doyle Haynes (Snoogy613@aol.com), February 11, 2001

Answers

Downsides to country living? Well I guess it all depends on your perspective and that of your family. My wife was raised in LA and the first taste of country life was when we moved to our present homestead. The first 3 months we didn't have electricity, running water, or much of anything else. She took to it like a duck to water. You will have to plan things differently, such as a trip to town for a few things. We now incorporate as many chores as we can with one trip. I commute 62 miles one way to work so I do spend a lot of time driving to and from work so I usually pick up anything we need on my way home. We have a large family (the two of us and six children) so lonliness isn't that much of an issue for us. We knew that the gas bill for my commute would be one of our main exspenses but to us it's more than worth it. We don't spend anything near that of what my co workers do on groceries etc., because we produce most of our own food and our chickens can't keep up with the demand for eggs from the people I work with. They are also my main source of egg cartons. One of the guys I work with picks up numerous cartons from the recycle section at his local grocery store and gives them to me I give him free eggs for his efforts a good trade for both of us.

We have recently purchased a new homestead with 30 acres and it is a little further out so my commute will be a bit longer but once again it's choice we made and we feel it's well worth it. Besides we can apply all the things we learned from building up this place so I think it'll be a lot easier (I hope) this time around.

So I would say go for it! If there are any negatives we havn't found them yet at least from our point of view.

Good luck and God Bless

Jim Tanner

-- Jim Tanner (tannerfamily1@prodigy.net), February 11, 2001.

Doyle: I think it depends on what your long term vision is for yourself and the goals you work toward. If you're thinking of merely "living in the country" with a mainstream job in a bigger city then you'll find the neighborhood more peaceful, more personal space and less congested. There'll be a longer commute to work. Running to the store will no longer be the five minute walk it may be now. There's alot more work involved as you may be responsible for your garbage, plowing your driveway in the winter, keeping the septic and water well operational etc. at a minimum.

There's alot of variables, depending on where you live, specifically bldg permits etc. What seems to happen in some rural areas is that a bunch of townies move into the area and essentially form a voting block and bring their "city" ways and ideas with them. They might complain about the rooster crowing or the cows mooing and the sheep and goats baaaaaing not to mention the smell of manure. Next thing you know there's an ordinance against it and country life goes downhill from there.

On the other hand if you move to the country to make a dramatic lifestyle change ie; striving to become more self reliant in terms of food, energy, skills etc. then you're in for the ride of a lifetime. Its ALOT of work and very challenging but it's satisfying to reflect on the idea that you're better prepared to take care of yourself and family---that you are providing for yourselves and are less dependent on the "system" for the essentials of survival.

-- john leake (natlivent@pcpros.net), February 11, 2001.

While my experience is limited, actually going back to when I was a kid....loooooong ago. I would say it somewhat depends on the individual. If you're used to crowds and like to be around lots of people on a fairly regular basis, I suppose you'd find it lonely. Of course it depends too on if you're a single or a pair. If you're not good at finding things to do to entertain you, that could be a downside. I think it may depends too on your upbringing, large family, only child etc. I still live where I grew up, same house, street, town etc. I am an only child and have never been married. I never have had a problem with what to do or getting bored and so forth. I'm quite content with my own company, but I do like the company of kindred spirits from time to time. I'd have to say the only downside would be "are you suited to country life" or not. Can you be happy with solitude and relative quiet, or do you need someone (or many) around and do you need someone to show you things to do etc. Best I can recommend is to buy/rent a place if you can afford to out in the country somewhere and spend as much time there as you can to get a feel for it. Of course you'll need to find out if you can make a living or not in a really rural area. I think most of us can live with mininmal requirements and be quite happy. Anyways I see more upside than downside to rural living. Definitely less stressful I'd say. I like to hunt and fish and wander the woods and to grow things and make things. Can't do this to much extent in these parts now as it's become suburbia with all sorts of houses, restrictions and new (city) attitudes. You hear a gunshot these days and the police are called immediately by someone. You see a hunter wandering to/from a hunting place and the police are called and are given a report of a man with a gun! Been here all my life, don't feel as though I belong here anymore....sooooooo I'm looking and getting ready to make a move. Upside/downside...depends on you! There are lots of folks here that live amuch more rural life than I have and I'm sure they'll be able to advise you more than I can. Best of luck whether you decide to go country or not!

-- Bob Johnson (Backwoods_Bob@excite.com), February 11, 2001.

Doyle, I am sure that 110 homesteaders could answer this question in 110 different ways. What are you calling serene? Outstanding negatives would be so relative as to what do you consider negative. You already listed loneliness and isolation as negatives. There is loneliness, meaning you are longing for people around you, or aloneness that just means you are alone. I love aloneness and therefore rarely experience loneliness, although I spend a great deal of time alone. Is isolation negative to you? I absolutely love it and crave more of it. We spend slightly more for transportation cost that a city person would, but cut our own wood for heat, raise almost all our food and I make most of our cloths and my husband does our maintanence and repairs. I surely would not make a move out into the country from the city until I had spent some time in the country and decided that it was something I would like to do. Find a place to visit and spend a vacation in the country. Really look at your life as it is now and see if you are discontented and why. Hope some of what you hear here helps you sort your priorities.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), February 11, 2001.

No more downsides as living anywhere else, If you have a "downside", you learn to accomodate it, lifes the same whereever you go, "give and take" ( some in the city dont want to give their money to muggers, so they take the country life, Some folks get to the country and their spouse doesn't like it, so they give them a ticket and take em to the airport. Our family says, give us the country life, someone else can take whats left. :>)

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), February 11, 2001.

You learn real quick to make a list before going to town.

-- melina b. (goatgalmjb1@hotmail.com), February 11, 2001.

We moved from the city almost 9 years ago. It has been interesting at times! My husband commutes 90 miles to work. Right now,I'd give away our glare ice driveway! Going shopping is a 40 miles drive...no running to the store for forgotten bread! When the electricity goes out, it gets mighty dark out here! When the water pump goes ot, there is no water unless it is hauled in! About loneliness...it depends on your prospective. A person can be lonely in a crowd or happy all alone. Would I ever go back? NO! I'd die inside if I had to give up all the space,the sunsets,the sunrises, the birds, and the quiet.

-- Ardie from Wi (a6203@hotmail.com), February 11, 2001.

I grew up in the "big city", downtown Boston..loved it because when I was in my teens and twenties, it had everything I wanted. As far as i was concerned there was no "downside'...in my 30s, I lived in the suburbs..hated it...too much conformity for me..all those little postage stamp yards so nicely manicured, and my neighbors all talking about either diapers or soap operas...in my 40s, back to the city...oh my, something had happened..it was no longer what I desired and I hated it..back to the "burbs",,nope, still not good...now in my 50s, live wayyyyyyyyyyy out in the country and I am so happy to be here....all of those homesteading skills I learned over the years now have a real "home"...I let my grass grow as wild as I like, I burn my trash, cart the glass/plastic stuff to the dump every three months, make wonderful lists for going into "town" 20 miles away,plan my garden,plan my chicken coop (yeah!), have a wonderful life with my husband, etc. etc. etc. I am rarely bored and when I am, all I have to do is look out the window ,sure to see a hawk or a wild turkey...this is GOOD...no downside here. I believe if you really yearn for quiet,nature,semi-solitude,and have a do-it-yourself attitude, rural life is great..if your picture of it is "idealistic', filled with visions of relaxing on your porch while a garden materializes by itself and your neighbors are the Waltons, then you may be dissapointed. Obviously we think it is great! Good luck in deciding what is right for you!!!! God bless.

-- Lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), February 11, 2001.

"HE: Green Acres is the place to be, farm livin' is the life for me, land spreadin' out so far and wide, keep Manhatten just give me that COUNTRYSIDE! SHE: New York is where I'd rather stay, I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view, I love you my darling just give me Park Avenue!" Well, there's the mud. The snow. The drought. The septic,water,roof,basement,plants,animals(invited and not),neighbors (invited and not!),schools, taxes,restrictions (a guy not far from here is being sued for hanging a deer in his yard, the weekend McMansion next door found it offensive) Your life is your own, but you can't go on vacation unless you have a really, really, really good friend. Other than that, no there aren't any downsides. Go for it!

-- Kathy (catfish201@hotmail.com), February 11, 2001.

We made the move from a large city to the country about 10 months ago so it is all fresh in my mind. One of the biggest differences is the amount of work! In the city, our house was newer, our yard much smaller, and no animals other than an indoor dog who thought he was an unfortunate human - not allowed on the couch. Here we have an old house that needed major repairs before we could move in and continues to need a considerable amount done. And since salaries are so much lower out here, it will be done by us. Our yard is much larger, and now we have a garden and orchard to tend, along with several pastures and the barnyard to deal with. And then add in the animals to care for. This kind of work is inspiring to watch others do, it is backbreaking to do yourself.:)

The other main drawback that was hard for me to get used to was the feeling of control. I felt very much able to make things happen when we lived in the city. Here, I have learned that I just have to wait on some things and that they may never happen. For example, in town you could call and have your phone service turned on within 24 hours ALWAYS. Here, it took 12 weeks for them to get permission from the township trustees to add a new cable to handle our phone line, install it and flip the switch to turn my service on. I could (and did) complain, beg, sweet talk, threaten, cry, and plead to no avail. It got done when it got done and not a second sooner. Another example, the well was very slow recovering so we decided to get county water put in. I knew that no matter how badly I wanted that water, if they hit too much rock or if we ran into an easement problem with adjacent landowners, I would not get county water, plain and simple. If something breaks and you need a part, you have to drive 30 miles one way to get it and then even though they assured you on the phone that it is in stock, that is not always how it happens. Often the best they can do is offer to order it and sometimes it comes in and sometimes it doesn't. In the city it always seemed like there was always an alternate route to make things happen if you just worked at it long enough and hard enough. Out here, that just isn't so and it was a really hard adjustment for me to get used to.

But I do like it out here and am getting used to the changes. I think now the biggest risk is that of "hermitizing" ourselves since we rarely want to go anywhere else and there are few people we want to come visit us here.!

-- Lori in SE Ohio (klnprice@yahoo.com), February 11, 2001.

The plus's by far out way the minus's

-- Shau Marie (shau@centurytel.net), February 11, 2001.

I would not have moved to the country if I thought, clearing my land, growing my own food, homeschooling my children, raising my own chickens, building my own house and out buildings,foraging in the woods, hunting, fishing, and working for myself were downsides. Check out my website: www.communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks Sincerely, Ernest

-- Ernest in the Missouri Ozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), February 11, 2001.

Ernest,

Your website didn't show up on my computer..could you clarify your website address? Thanks!

Ted

-- Ted Hart (tedhart71@hotmail.com), February 11, 2001.

Here try it this way, it'll work! Fingers crossed!

http://communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks

Or

-- Bob Johnson (Backwoods_Bob@excite.com), February 12, 2001.

Or CLICK HERE! Let's see if it works this time?!?!?!

-- Bob Johnson (Backwoods_Bob@excite.com), February 12, 2001.

The MUD!!!!

-- Kari (prettyhere@truevine.net), February 12, 2001.

I would say "simple" living is the most serene. You can do it in a city but I would find that hard. If you move to the country and try to become self sufficient you will find that also difficult but rewarding. I think the folks that are the most "serene" are those that have discovered how to "downsize" their life...their expectations, wants, and even "needs". If you can learn to be content in nothing much more than a clean cabin with very sparse furnishings and stop the striving for more...you will be on you way to finding serenity. If you add to that spiritual peace and fulfillment you are there!

-- marty van diest (martyv@alaskacabin.net), February 12, 2001.

I've seen some folks "move out to the country" from the city only to find themselves on the road constantly running back and forth to their "friends" and old lifestyle they left behind in the city; consequently, they are never home and just don't allow themselves the chance to enjoy the country.

I think before any moves are made that would radically change lifestyle, that some serious prioritizing be done....a list of what is really important to you...if it includes a lot of socializing, stay in town. Folks will make the trip out to you for awhile, until the novelty wears off...then you will be left with either a life of relative solitude or racking up mileage on your car driving to them. If one thinks that moving to the country is a "cool" thing to do, stay put. It isn't something you should do to impress friends.

Of course, the word "country" can also be relative...some think living in a sub-division in the suburbs is living in the country...so I guess there is "country-life" of some degree for everyone...finding how far out on the odometer your ideal country-life is will be the key.

-- JimR (jroberts1@cas.org), February 12, 2001.

The only problem with country living, imho, is too many city-hearted people moving to the country for all the wrong reasons.

-- Cindy (SE In) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), February 12, 2001.

I wholeheartedly agree with Cindy! One thing about country life - you either love it or hate it. You are either cut out for it, or you aren't. Find out which you are before you move! Garden where you are if possible. Do you love that? Do you love being entertained, ie movies, malls, and whatever else people in the city do! It's been so long for me, I've forgotten! I have had friends and family visit me and say "what do you do for entertainment?" Funny, I wonder what they do. Do you enjoy being alone? If not, the country probably isn't for you! Do you enjoy "doing things" for yourself or would you prefer to pay someone else to do them? If you are the "do-it yourself type", you will probably enjoy the country. Do you love being outdoors and enjoying God's beauty? I wouldn't want to live any place else but I don't guess it is for every body. Good thing I guess or it would soon get too crowded out here!!!

-- bwilliams (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), February 12, 2001.

Remember "The grass is always greener on the otherside"

Do you plan on living in the country or just having a house there? How do you plan on making a living while in the country? What do you envision yourself doing in the country? What serene setting did you see to make you think about the country? Country living requires more work on your part than city life does. Your going to have more and often different type of land than the city and it requires care. Lot more work to take care of a 10 acres spread over a 1/4 acre city lot. You not going to be able to call the local landscape company to do the work, your going to have to get out and do it. Same is true for many other activitys. You need to be able to at least try doing whatever job needs done, even if your not sure. Your part plummer, part car machanic, part carpenter, part vet, part everything.

As for loneliness, I dont see why that would be the case. You can be just as lonely in a city with millions of people around you. If you never interact with them then loneliness, isolation can happen. I know I know more of my neighbors now than I ever did when I was in the city.

Expensive? I am betting a large city house is more expensive than a "true" country house. Your expenses may also be different. No more gas bills, but your now geting fuel oil bills. No water bills, but you have well pump maintence bills.

-- Gary (gws@redbird.net), February 12, 2001.

No down sides! Only suggestion, stockpile toilet paper!

-- Maylene (zedanka@aol.com), February 12, 2001.

I don't remember that anyone suggested this but if you really aren't sure you may want to move into a rental in your desired country setting before actually selling your present home and buying another. I would give it at least a year's trial. Also about the commuting issue: When we first moved "out" I commuted 100 miles each day to work at the same job I had before the move. Even tho I loved the job I hated the time it took to drive to it. I felt as if I still lived in the city. After 7 months I quit my city job and found one closer to home. I gave up lots of dollars in the paycheck to do that but found it was worth it. After 5 years on the country job I am still not making what I made at the city job but I wouldn't go back to the drive or the feeling of still living in the city. If you rent for awhile and don't like it it will be a lot easier to go back. If you like it you already have a good idea of the new area and know where you want to look to buy. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

-- cindy palmer (jandcpalmer@sierratel.com), February 13, 2001.

Earnest in Missouri Ozarks, My filtered server denied access to your referenced site. Why? What on earth could you have there that is offensive? Just wondering.

-- Eve in FL (owenall@lwol.com), February 13, 2001.

I can still hear you singing Kathy!!! smile smile. And Cindy your right on the button. I've always lived in the country and so has my hubby. And all our kids. Couldn't think of a safer place to be. NO time spent worrying it can all be spent on better thoughts. I figure if your gonna do it, you'll know if its right. We have firneds in the far north country of us and they live in a tiny cabin. 3 adults 2 kids. Their cabin could fit in my livingroom. I like to visit but know I couldn't live that cramped. Good luck

-- michelle (tsjheath@ainop.com), February 16, 2001.

It is all perspective. Generally, rural farm-like areas are quiet. It you are used to the noise of the city, the quiet will be deafening. If you are used to constant interaction with people, the isolation may become depressing. The cost factor is entirely dependant on how you want to live. A one room cabin with wood heat and simple diet of chicken eggs, fruit and veggies that you grow yourself? Very low budget. Are there downsides? Our homestead is non stop work. Thirty milk goats, dogs, cats, chickens, etc. We have forgotten what vacations are. Can't find anyone we trust to tend the farm so we can go play.

If you can get over the culture shock, the biggest danger is in being transformed into a true homesteader and wanting to do everything. For some of us it's an addiction. In less than five years we went from urban dwellers with a few dogs and cats for pets to regular farmers claiming farm business deductions on our taxes for the first time. Our for profit activities: registered purebred nubian milk goats for show and sale, boer meat goats, beekeeping, and dog boarding. Our homestead chores: firewood, gardening, fencing, mowing, maintenance, repair, etc.

Wouldn't trade this life for anything.

-- Skip Walton (sundaycreek@gnrac.net), February 17, 2001.

I have to agree with those who say don't move until you try it - it certainly isn't for everyone. We've lived in "the country" for more than 20 years after living "in town" for about the same amount of time. As she was growing up our daughter complined about chores, distant friends, no social life,etc - now she is living in an apartment, commuting 45 minutes to a city job and counting the days until she can move back.We comute 20 miles to work and make a lot less than when we lived in towm but would never move back. SIMPLIFY your life first. Try doing without tv, dishwasher, etc. Try going to the store ONE time a month (no cheating!!) and doing without whatever you forgot to get. Try eliminating most of your trash (no one picks it up for you in the country - you haul it yourself and it cost to dump) Learn to recycle and to garden (daughter- aka farmer Laura- grows tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, herbs and beans on her apartment patio) and learn to preserve what you grow (freezers can be a problem if you have unreliable electricity or not much of it) Can you do without washing your hair every day? Can you fix the elbow in your sink and deal with a septic tank (or outhouse)? Will you homeschool your children (school in the country is different from in town in many many ways both good and bad -(drugs, sex etc ARE a problem here too!)but parental involvement is absolutely necessary for children to get a good education. And what do you mean by serene? Finding a skunk in your barn when you are feeding at 5 AM before going to work is hardly serene by my definition. Neither is dealing with a quarter of a mile of mud that substitutes for a driveway. Watching the geese land on the pond at sunset --That is serene! Jean

-- Jean Castle (lorien@alpacafleece.com), February 17, 2001.