Defense Attorney: What is your age? Old Lady: I'm 86 years Old.

Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Old Lady: I was sitting on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down next to me.

Attorney: Did you know him? Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you? Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Attorney: Did you stop him? Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Attorney: Why not? Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Attorney: What happened next? Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Attorney: Did you stop him? Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Attorney: Why not? Old Lady: Why, your honor, his rubbing made me feel alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Attorney: What happened next? Old Lady: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, take me!"

Attorney; Did he take you? Old Lady: Hell no! That's when he yelled "April Fools!!!" and that's when I shot the son of a bitch!

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), February 09, 2001

Answers

Oh no, I think I would shoot him to, guess if I'm still around and alone at 80+ I'll put up a sign "No Trespassing,(unless you will finish what you start"

-- Thumper (slrldr@aol.com), February 09, 2001.

A young attorney was visiting the home of an aging, well-off spinster to finalize her will. She told him she had only one regret in life and that was, due to her upbringing, she was still a virgin. She said she wanted to experience sex before she died and would give the attorney $1,000 if he would be her partner. The attorney, somewhat taken back, said he would have to discuss it with his wife. They did so and finally decided they really could use the money. The next evening the wife drove him to the spinster's house to return in the morning to pick him up. When she arrived back she waited and waited, finally blowing the horn. The upstairs bedroom window open and her husband appears. He told her, "Honey, I'll have to give you a call. She has decided to have the county bury her."

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), February 10, 2001.

Wow, Ken. I finally figured it out, it took me a little bit. Now my wife was able to figure it out in about 15 seconds. Got me.

hillbilly

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), February 10, 2001.

Got it in 30 sec. Not too bad brain power after a long day of work leading volunteers with an infected wisdom tooth flap!

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), February 10, 2001.