Greetings to my sister and brothers in Christ. I want to bring up the discussion regarding what it means to be a Christian single. Often times singles are overlooked in the church and society as a whole in regard to our place both in an out of church. Let me begin by saying I am single, 49 years old with one daughter who is 23. I am also a Pastor. My daughters father walked out 23 years ago. And I have been single ever since. I have had wonderful experiences as a professional singer, actress, social worker and Pastor. I raised my daughter by myself. I have learned over the years, sometimes slowly, that I am a child of God and that my partner has to love God with all of his heart! I have had relationships with unbelievers with the intent to bring them to God. Those attempts miserably, usually with me moving from the church and my bible studies. So In my mid thirties as I was accepting my call to ministry I made a decision to turn my "entire life over to God" you see I was still trying to run the romance department myself;-) Once I did that my burning desire was to serve him. At this point in my life I doubt if I will marry, and I definitely will not have a man in my life who does not love God! Does it get lonely, YES! I will be honest. Am I happy? YES happier than I have ever been, I do believe at this time there are things that I as a single woman can do for God that others can't. I can do rural ministry for I have the freedom of being single and having a grown daughter, I can represent God, my denomination and my Bishop because I do have the freedom to move quickly if need be. To all my single sisters and brothers, God has a plan for us, there is something that he wants us to do, something that only a single person can do. Remember we are AME's we are living under grace. We are not COGIC, we are not Assemblies of God. We are Methodists, whose theology is based a God who is forgiving, every day. Wesleyan Theology states that we must come to God daily to be cleansed and forgiven. God does this because he loves and that is GRACE! We are not living under the law. Rejoice in your singlehood, ask God for guidance, and allow that our spiritual journey isn't always a straight line. If I had not made the mistakes I made in the past, I doubt if my relationship with God would be this strong! One last thing, let's think about having a conference, retreat etc. for single AME's. I love all of you and I am proud of you for the love of Christ is in you, Denise Proud to be a Single Christian!!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2001

Answers

Now, I was going to walk right past this question, but Denise, it's all good that you're single, great wonderful I am proud of you! I am single also who works in the ministry, hoever, sister, you are missing the point when you drop the statements concerning the other church demoninations. The Word says...One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism. Yes, correct the majority that come on here is AME, however, you must look at the total picture. Instead of so much seeing what Wesley has said, what does GOD in his word? What affects you in the spirit, it also affects me, (I am Zion, but I was Holiness prior to this recent move) So, you cannot make a statment like that. We are to bear another's burdens. I have friends of all demoninations and when it comes to being holy before the Lord, we dont go see what Wesley says, or what Mason or even, Creflo Dollar or Benny Hinn, beacuse, the Word says, do not put your trust in man, but in God, we see what the bible says on the issue. And the Word says on the issue of singleness is to "be ye holy for I am holy" The word calls to present our bodies as living sacfricies holy and acceptable unot the Lord. We as ministers are not addressing these issues to the singles and the rest of congregation. Then we wonder why, there are so many divorces, and children born out of wedlock in the house of God. Yes God does forgive, but Jesus also said to the woman who was caught in the sin of adultry, after she was forgiven "Go and sin no more" If we are to be alive in Christ, we ought to be dead to sin, and contiune to die to the flesh. Romans 6:1 :What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace more abound? God How can we who are dead to sin and be alive" In Galations it says...."I am crufied with yet I live it is no longer I that live but is Christ living in me" We must be real with the lay people or we are going to a lot of saints, beacuse we are open with these issues...call a spirit a spirit. Yes mistakes are the excelent teachers, however in Hebrews 6 it says, we must go on further. paraphrased. Paul clearly states in Phililpians, leaving those things which are behind and press toward the mark of the high calling witch is Christ Jesus. Not what pressing to what our church expects, but the high call, Jesus. We are so wrapped in attaining success in the Church, and that is good, but if we are not careful, the success which we strive for is displaced, in otherwords, we should of chasing after the Lord instead of chasing after material things. The greatest joy in my life is not being woman, not being black, not being Zion or Holiness, but the greatest joy in my life is joy of the Lord in my life. Some of us singles who are older beacuse there is displaced feelings of past lovers, we dont realize that we need to be cleansed from the residue from what we were in, thus we will overdo the work of the ministry, just to cover up the desperation the longing in our hearts. God is saying to us, to come clean first so we will ceast to be deperate for another, except Him. But we, who are called Pastor, or Prophetess, or Reverenand, or some other higharchy in the clergy food chain, we have made up this facade in our minds and to others, oh we dont need deliverance, that is for the little people...I tell you under the Prophetic anoniting of the Holy Ghost in my life, THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!! We all need deliverance! We all need God to clean us up and set us free! Stop lying to God and yourself thinking that you have arrived in being this so-called pillar of faith. God is calling us to HOLINESS. God is calling us to not only be spirit filled but spirit led. Time out for these silly religous games....it's time to GET OURSELVES TOGETHER!!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2001

Now, I was going to walk right past this question, but Denise, it's all good that you're single, great wonderful I am proud of you! I am single also who works in the ministry, however, sister, you are missing the point when you drop the statements concerning the other church demoninations. The Word says...One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism. Yes, correct the majority that come on here is AME, however, you must look at the total picture. Instead of so much seeing what Wesley has said, what does GOD in his word? What affects you in the spirit, it also affects me, (I am Zion, but I was Holiness prior to this recent move) So, you cannot make a statment like that. We are to bear another's burdens. I have friends of all demoninations and when it comes to being holy before the Lord, we dont go see what Wesley says, or what Mason or even, Creflo Dollar or Benny Hinn, beacuse, the Word says, do not put your trust in man, but in God, we see what the bible says on the issue. And the Word says on the issue of singleness is to "be ye holy for I am holy" The word calls to present our bodies as living sacfricies holy and acceptable unot the Lord. We as ministers are not addressing these issues to the singles and the rest of congregation. Then we wonder why, there are so many divorces, and children born out of wedlock in the house of God. Yes God does forgive, but Jesus also said to the woman who was caught in the sin of adultry, after she was forgiven "Go and sin no more" If we are to be alive in Christ, we ought to be dead to sin, and contiune to die to the flesh. Romans 6:1 :What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace more abound? God How can we who are dead to sin and be alive" In Galations it says...."I am crufied with yet I live it is no longer I that live but is Christ living in me" We must be real with the lay people or we are going to a lot of saints, beacuse we are open with these issues...call a spirit a spirit. Yes mistakes are the excelent teachers, however in Hebrews 6 it says, we must go on further. paraphrased. Paul clearly states in Phililpians, leaving those things which are behind and press toward the mark of the high calling witch is Christ Jesus. Not what pressing to what our church expects, but the high call, Jesus. We are so wrapped in attaining success in the Church, and that is good, but if we are not careful, the success which we strive for is displaced, in otherwords, we should of chasing after the Lord instead of chasing after material things. The greatest joy in my life is not being woman, not being black, not being Zion or Holiness, but the greatest joy in my life is joy of the Lord in my life. Some of us singles who are older beacuse there is displaced feelings of past lovers, we dont realize that we need to be cleansed from the residue from what we were in, thus we will overdo the work of the ministry, just to cover up the desperation the longing in our hearts. God is saying to us, to come clean first so we will ceast to be deperate for another, except Him. But we, who are called Pastor, or Prophetess, or Reverenand, or some other higharchy in the clergy food chain, we have made up this facade in our minds and to others, oh we dont need deliverance, that is for the little people...I tell you under the Prophetic anoniting of the Holy Ghost in my life, THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!! We all need deliverance! We all need God to clean us up and set us free! Stop lying to God and yourself thinking that you have arrived in being this so-called pillar of faith. God is calling us to HOLINESS. God is calling us to not only be spirit filled but spirit led. Time out for these silly religous games....it's time to GET OURSELVES TOGETHER!!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2001

I am AME because God called me to be AME, I am single because it is part of God's plan. Lori I will adress some of the scripture passages you have quoted tomorrow. For I feel it important to do so. As ministers we are also called to educate laity. When we quote scripture verses out of context of the Bible without giving historical significance to that scripture, we are not being faithful leaders of Christ. But my sister, I am on my way to speak for Black History before an audience of 600 to 800 predominantly white people. And I am going to talk about a young black single man, that God used to transform this world. His name was Richard Allen. It is important to discuss singlehood and our place in God's plan. When I speak of Wesley, Richard Allen, and the AME church it is always with the understanding that I am serving God! He asks me to serve him through the AME denomination. I will never make apologizes for being Methodists, and in particular AME for I am a daughter also of Richard Allen. I pray to God I will be known for my love and spreading the gospel of love, for I am a foot soldier in the army of the lord. Lori, I will get back to those passages tomorrow. And to all my Christian sisters and brothers, I love you dearly!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2001

Denise, Denise, my fellow preacha sista.....come on now, is it possible that you can move in the spirit and the anoniting of the Lord Jesus Christ without leaning on historical figures, to support your stance? Is it possible that can give Holy Ghost, anointed statements without quoting dead stale words, with will not set a church mouse free, let alone people. Denise, we gotta come up, it time to move under His anoniting, that is Jesus, not Luther, not Calvin, Wesley, not Allen, not even Varick, W.J. Seymore or Charles Mason (COGIC). Denise, you're a pastor right? I know you identify with the spiritual things of the Lord or have you gone so far up the clergy ladder that you lost His spirit? Deep calleth unto the deep...In the response concerning quoting scripture out of context, "if you walk in the spirit, then you shall not forfill the lust of the flesh". We have to to have the spirit of God upon us. Denise, can you really say that you are hearing God. It's all good that you go and preach to white audiences and that you are well endowed with doctorates and more degrees than a thermonater, but if you dont have the spirit of the most High God dwelling in you.....what you are preaching, will be of no effect. No one will get saved, no one will get healed and delivered, no none will get set free. Yes, it's all good to remember the founders of our great demoninations, but ONLY one that we are to remember is the Lord Jesus Christ, the Creator and the destiny of our lives. When this I am saying this myself, beacause I have not arrived yet (maybe you have arrived to be a spiritual pillar of the faith) but, we all need to be in a place of humbleness with the Lord. In order for the Lord to use us the way He should, we have to be broken. Why dont you try that...get broken before the Lord. Ask Him to give an awesome Holy Ghost experience, that you beacome drunk with His spirit, like 120 on the day of Pentecost. Denise, the Lord is waiting for you come down off the religious soapbox and be broken to Him. The Lord is waiting to heal the wound of yours that you used your ministry to cover. I hear the Lord say, that He has been waiting for along time to anonit you in His awesome power, because there is much invested in you, but because, of the pain, you are keeping in your spirit, He cannot reach you. Please allow Him to reach that pain. I sense bitterness, from the marriage that fell apart, and God says, "Daughter, please stop carrying something that I bore alone time ago. I was acquainted with your grief, so that you might be free. I was acquainted with your pain that you will be healed. I seek to heal my sons and daughters in this hour. Many trials, great persecution, I have brought thee out out of, many things you have gone through, you cannot even speak, but you know that I brought you out. There been times you thought the pain would never end, but it did. Did I promise you through My word that I will never leave you, and I have kept up my end of the promise? When they came against you, wasn't I there to shield you from those firey darts? When they questioned you and told you that you are not competent or qualified to preach My word, who validated you first? Wasn't I that brought you the dark hours and it is I who is keeping you now, though it may appear everything is togheter, but I am keeping daughter. You did run well but what hindereth thee? My love where are you? I miss you very much, but I still bless you and I still keep you. Even in your quiet time, I will be speaking directly to you, an audible voice, to confirm you, what I have said unto daughter. I seek to complete the healing you my daughter, because I love you, I seek to bring the best to you. I want to use in a great measure,(an awesome teaching ministry, geared to women who have been through the same thing you have been through.....many attacks you cannot even utter but God knows) but first, I am asking for you to humble yourself before Me, that I might heal you. Please do not despise the Words of this prophecy that my maidservant has said.....even in your finances, I will do an unexpected miracle, that you have been praying for not many days. And the petition, that you have laid before Me, you have been waiting for answer for while now, the answer is "yes" I have granted the go ahead on this issue, and you shall victory in this area of your life, and will no longer lack no more" saith the Lord God. Denise, God wants to do something mighty in you. You may or may not recieve this Word, and you may buck against it, you may go as so far to discredit the Word or even me, know that this is Word from the Lord, His word shall not come back unto Him void, and that every word the Lord speak through me, has never dropped to the floor, and IT SHALL COME TO PASS. God is going to do something for you not many days hence. Be Blessed Lori

-- Anonymous, February 09, 2001

Lori, I am indeed a minister and an educated minister, which I am very proud of. For God has provided my education, he opened doors to higher education for me, so that I could learn of him in the original languages, so that I could see the actual papyrus that the texts of the Bible were written. God called me as a single mom, to go to college and seminary a total of nine years straight.Undergrad and Seminary so that I could represent him with clarity and truthfulness. My love for God is beyond what I can express in english, for he has transformed my life with love. Lori, I am not on a soap box, for I am indeed theocentric, I as a minister am here to point the way to Jesus and God. I do this with love, conviction and determination all of which are given to me by God and the Holy Spirit. Lori, there is an energy of love and a sincere desire to learn from one another on this board. But when you share you attack, and there is a sense of disharmony. Lori, I read your words, and I bind them with love, I read your scripture quotes, and I ask God to bind them with enlightenment, I read your responses, and I say thank you God for allowing me to grow in the spirit of love and steadfastness when words of discord are written on this board. And in terms of the "dead People" you mentioned they too were attacked for their love of God. A house cannot be built unless there is a strong foundation. And Jesus is the way and the "strong foundation." And Wesley, and Allen and others have stood on that foundation and laid the bricks for which the AME church was founded. Yes I will speak of them and I am proud of Richard Allen, for the sons and daughters have done great work in his name. I do encourage you to email me privately and let's treat each other with respect. Lori, you do not know me personally and do hope we will meet one day. But know this about me, God is the center of my life. And in the words of St.Paul "They will know us by our love." I will not respond to you any longer on this discussion board. For it is unfair to others. But if you would like email me privately that would be fine. Christian singles, remember paul the apostle was single and look at the work he did for Christ.

-- Anonymous, February 09, 2001

Married or single, do as God tells you. Paul did point out that singleness was an advantage for ministry. That is certainly the call of some. It's also true that raising kids in a Christian home is a ministry of the highest nature. I am SO grateful for my Christian parents. I missed out on so much heartache because of their lifestyle. My kids are having the same blessing, PTL!

Question: We best live the Christian life when we come with a heart open to anything of God. You may be single well past 30 and figure that God has called you to be single your whole life. Maybe, maybe not. Rejoice in the singleness God has directed you to now, but remember he may call you to marriage at any time. Unless God has told you you'll be single for life (or a minister, or a missionary, or a brick layer, or a police officer...) keep all options open for anything. Are you keeping the doors open?

-- Anonymous, February 09, 2001

Denise, you're still missing the point, come out of the religious wall that you are hiding behind...God wants us to break that wall and be real with him, I have to know you in order to drop a Word from the Lord to you...He loves you enough to get your attention via this format. I will not apologize for how the Spirit operates through me, Pastor, those who operate in the Spirit, can see you are transparent. It's okay, because there are issues in our lives we are transparent. Hey, me, if the Lord told me what He told you, I would be rejoicing, especially on the part of the finances. The thing is, we have to be single in mind, soul and body in the Lord in order for His glory to shine forth. We cannot lean on the teachings of man, that wont cut it, but we need on the Lord. Jude 24 "Now who ABLE to KEEP thee from FALLING and present the faultless before His presence with exceeding joy." There is a joy in knowing that Jesus is the the one who is well enuff, so' nuff able to keep us...that is if we want to be kept. Let me go even deeper if you dont mind. Even in marraige, a true marriage put together, the marriage must singleness in heart...because when God created Adam and pulled the rib from his side and formed woman, they were both called "Adam". Woman was not called Eve until after the fall in the garden. Even though they were two seperate persons, but God seen then as one. If you and your mate is not single in mind and the calling God has for you, there will always be two seperate minds, and divided thinking. This is the reason why half of the marriages fail in the church, because, Adam is over here and Eve is over there, never coming together to form "Adam" a oneness. See we can go on forever about this but, I pray you get the point. The only way one can truly be single is sanctification. OOOOOOOOOOO, I said the dreaded "S" word! No none wants to kill the flesh and be seperate. Marriage is a ministry and even the ministry of marriage, you cannot run with everyone, "for the two shall become one". We cannot not allow just anyone minister to our mates like we can, we cannot allow to pour the life of the Lord like we can. The ministry of marriage is holy and sanctified, that is with two individuals who are saved, and brought together by the Lord. That is why (I am going out on a limb when I say this) when a minister goes forth to preach, the first person to minister to him after he comes down off the pulpit, it's not his, armorbearers, not the assistant pastor, not the prayer team, but it is his wife. She ought to be the strongest intercessor in the church, really she ought to over the prayer warriors, praying for her husband, covering him when he goeas forth in the word of God. See, minister (men) encounter alot of spirits, and he is called upon alot. The Lord showed me that it is importmant to cover your man in prayer and men vise versa. I personally dont agree with ministers going out of town without their wives, because if he doesnt have a strong armorbear, those women (nowadays some men), those spirits in them will want to prey on him. The man is the head and covering for the woman, but when it comes to ministry, the woman is the watcher, the seer on the wall, praying for her husband. I dont how I got on this subject, maybe someone needed to hear this revelation. Though I am not married right now, God is usung me to minister young women, who are married to pastors or ministers to show them what God has given to me. Let me stop preaching God Bless

-- Anonymous, February 09, 2001

Dear Rev. Rogers, Thank you for your very inspirational comments about being a single christian. Your comments will hopefully inspire all of us single christians to live according to God's will. However, sometimes I feel that the church oppresses us singles by forcing us into singles groups or directing singles ministries at us. Sometimes we are treated like being single is a disease. I personally believe that God has a will for some people to be married and for some people to be single. I also believe that a good percentages of these marriages consist of frustrated unhappy people. Finally, I especially like your comments about John Wesley's theology about the need for daily cleansing and forgiveness of sin in our lives.

JazzMan

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2001

I am glad that the question of singles ministry was brought up. I do believe singles ministry are started as a support system for singles. And is an attempt to to help singles feel they are part of the church. I think it important for those of us that are single, to feel good about ourselves and the role that God has assigned to us at this particular time in our lives. When we feel confident, and filled with the joy of God, we feel whole. And thus people respond to us positively, when we as singles feel that something or someone is missing from our lives those feelings are projected outward. And others react negatively to those feelings also. Unfortunatle with such a high divorce rate in this country there will be more and more singles. Let's keep turning to God for direction, let's keep praising him for how he is using us daily to do his work. Let us rejoice that we are part of God's plan for salvation. And most of all let us love ourselves, and accept this is where we are today. There are so many wonderful people, adventures, education and laughter that we can experience when we are one with God. SINGLE is not a dirty word. And to all the singles that have written me privately, thank you for sharing your stories, God is using you in wonderous ways. And the AME church welcomes you and needs you. To God be the glory, and to God we give him praises!

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2001

Rev. Rogers,

I've been away from the board a while, but your topic was interesting. I too am singled, after being married and have two grown sons. God has blessed them trememdously. Both are married with Christian wives and they worship together.

Your point of how God has been blessing you in your singleness was clear and I was blessed to hear your testimonyy. My question to you, is not about what you said, but I apparently missed the point of your comments concerning the other denominations.

In Christ,

Carmen

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Dear friends, Let me encourage you to have true fellowship with the HolySpirit.Understanding Him as a person you can relate with.Let us not live by past history of men, but in the continous revelation of the Spirit. Let us not be saddist, because of our problems.I do believe that all things works together for good to those that love the lord.Let us put behind dinominations and everything that brings division to the body of Christ. Finally, Put on the whole Armour of God , so that you can be able to overcome the devil.God bless you.

-- Anonymous, December 11, 2002