"10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should"

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollypop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Have a nice day, everyone...

(:raig

-- (CMiller@ssd.com), February 01, 2001

Answers

Love it Craig!!! Wish I were that clever to think of some.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), February 01, 2001.

...and I'm still trying to figure why contiguous is defined in technical references as meaning continueous as in "a contiguous data stream is a continuous stream of data." Loved the new vocabulary words.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), February 01, 2001.

Loved em, Craig! I can really identify with 2, 3, 5, 9 &10. Thanks so much for the laugh. :)

-- Annie (mistletoe@earthlink.net), February 01, 2001.

Pock-a-lanche (as written): The physical law whereby, when you bend over, all contents of your shirt pocket catapult themselves onto the floor, sometimes for an incredible distance. I have observer this myself on numerous occassions. GL!

-- Brad (homefixer@SacoRiver.net), February 04, 2001.

reintarnation : to die & come back as a hillbilly.

-- Sparrowhawk (sparrowkiak@yahoo.com), February 06, 2001.

I have phonesia at least twice in the last 6 months!!!!!!!!!!

-- Novina in ND (lamb@stellarnet.com), February 08, 2001.

I have #10 big time if I answer too soon my cordless will disconect and I lose the call even with caller ID! Phone in hand, ring, must resist must wait,[stare at phone] ring, is it too soon!?!,wait, wait, ring...ahhh.. can now answer safely, "Hello?" no one there....

-- Thumper (slrldr@aol.com), February 09, 2001.

BEVAMETER (bev' a meter) The distance a coaster will travel attached to the bottom of a wet glass before falling to the floor.

-- Skip Walton (sundaycreek@gnrac.net), February 09, 2001.