Do you sing silly songs to your cats?

-- Kymm Zuckert (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), January 24, 2001

Answers

No, I don't like my cats. I used to sing the butthead song to each of them in turn ("Benny is a butthead, butthead, butthead/Benny is a butthead, butthead cat/Rudy is a butthead, butthead, butthead ...") but I don't do that anymore.

I do sing the song I wrote for Doc on a fairly regular basis, but I haven't come up with one for Mochi yet. I'm feeling kind of bad about that -- I'm working on another one with the "Miss American Pie" theme, but I haven't gotten past "I'll trade my puppy for a guppy if she barks one more time."

-- Beth (beth@xeney.com), January 25, 2001.

I fucking hate my cat, so no, I don't sing to him. My roommate talks to him in baby talk, quite amusingly:

(said in condescending put-on parental tones) "Who's a little shitface? Oh yes you are!"

-- Melissa (melissa@ladydisdain.com), January 25, 2001.

Alas and alack, we don't have a cat due to my kitty dander allergies. We do have a beagle though who has a good heart but bad ears and an appetite for used tissues and other disgusting household flotsam. Many's the time we've considered "finding him a good home" somewhere else. But, as I said, he's a gentle soul and, besides, who else goes all rapturous just because I enter the room? The refrain I sing to him at chowtime: "You're my Favorite Mistake"

-- Jon Arthur (rclover4@aol.com), January 25, 2001.

My beloved Encore died on October 8 (the year 2000 sucked big time, I lost my father, a friend and my cat!) I couldn't stnad the silence of my apartment so I went out and adopted two new boys. Shelters in Boston don't let you adopt single kittens, you have to get two (at about $90 a pop!).

So now I am owned by Bravo and Broadway. Broadway has many theme songs written by talented artists. So far the only "Bravo" song that I've managed to come up with comes from the show "Once Upon a Mattress" it's called "The Song of Love" and has a verse that goes "Bravo, bravo, bravissimo".

I'm not sure either one of them cares that they have a theme s

-- KW (wishjrnl@aol.com), January 25, 2001.

Yes I sing songs to my cats. I make up full on verses, complete with chord changes about how Ernie is a whiny ass cat, Stalker has a huge belly, and Juice is the Great Vanishing Cat.

I make up ones for my dogs too..but you were just asking about cats.

-- Alicia (skawolfie@yahoo.com), January 26, 2001.

My old cat kind of makes a mooing meow...she's an old heifer....so I sing...."she's a mooin' kinda gal, she's a mooin' kinda gal, she's mooin' mooin', she's a mooin' kinda gal" done in a country western mode.....I have many other songs too!

-- sparrowhawk (sparrowhawk0@hotmail.com), January 29, 2001.

I sing the "get off the table/get off the table/get off the table/you furry, unsanitary dolt" song to my cat. He must like it because I am always forced into an encore.

-- Stu Ackerman (Ackerfamily@mindspring.com), January 30, 2001.

not generally, no. but when we moved from long island to queens a few years back, it was the longest car trip they had ever made. and one of them yowled the whole way. the only thing that would calm him down was my daughter, then about 4 singing to him. the details of what she sang have long since been supressed in my memory by my desire to forget the whole horrid episode.

-- nicole (nicolemrw@yahoo.com), January 31, 2001.

Yep. In fact, I used to sing "you are my kitty / my only kitty" to my old cat, Patches, who died in June 1999 aged 21.

Now I have Pisica (so clearly Patches was *not* my only kitty, but she was at the time), and he has his own songs. The first line is usually "you are my kitty boy yes you are" or something along the same rhythm, and then I rhyme the line and add two more for a quatrain. (English geek alert!)

Or I sing "Pisica, Pisica" to the tune of "Chicago, Chicago."

Yeah, 29-and-no-relationship, why do you ask?

-- Dorothy Rothschild (dorothyr@spies.com), February 01, 2001.

oh dear, i just realized that there are two other exceptions to my not singing my cats silly songs. firstly, i lost my oldest cat this year. her name was grey mouser, usually just called "mouse". i used to sing "our mouse is a very, very, very fine mouse...." now we have the new kitten, we keep him away from our other cats when we aren't around to monitor things. and he tries to escape from my daughters bedroom, so we sing "get back kitten, bad kitten, get back you ear-mite bitten mongrel"

-- nicole (nicolemrw@yahoo.com), February 02, 2001.

Our cats came pre-owned and the previous owner taught us the Dinner Time Song:

Cats on the roof top, Cats on the tiles. Cats with syphilis, Cats with piles. Cats with their bumholes wreathed in smiles, Revelling in the joys of fornica-tion.

I'm not so fond of it so I generally change the words around as seems appropriate.

D.

-- Dulcie. (dulcie@meatheringham.com), June 19, 2001.

I have two cats. Sometimes the one cat will sit and look like he is stuck-up and the king of all the world, so i will sing to him in a triumphant way "Cory-ander of the Century". His real name is cory alexander, or i'll call him cory-butt. My other cat we call a variety of names- terdball or baby terdball (because he farts a lot), head on a swivel (he turns his head a lot), and i like to call him bubber or bubberina.

-- jessica h. (stpcrazy@cs.com), December 14, 2002.