In the true spirit of Arkansas wisdom... A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Arkansas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Arkansas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Arkansas Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Arkansas Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my turn." (I love this part......)

The old farmer smiled and said, ........"Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.

-- Nancy in CA (sonflower35@icqmail.com), January 24, 2001

Answers

Made me laugh.

-- hillbilly (internethillbillly@hotmail.com), January 24, 2001.

I am still giggling!!!

-- Shau Marie (shau@centurytel.net), January 24, 2001.

My boys loved that one!!!! I bet my husband tells that all over the place!! Thanks!

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), January 24, 2001.

Hey, I used to live in Arkansas and that farmer was my neighbor. Or maybe it was his brother. Lot of tough old codgers down there. Some good old codgerettes too. Good people.

-- marilyn (rainbow@ktis.net), January 24, 2001.

Loved it.Thanks

-- JT in Florida (gone2seed@hotmail.com), January 24, 2001.

Don't mess with us! Well kick the snot outta ya!

-- Alison in Arkansas (NawtyGirl@aol.com), January 27, 2002.