Two men were hunting in the woods, and they came across a bear. The bear starts chasing them and they are running as fast as they can. They look back and the bear is ganing on them. The two hunters are running neck and neck and one says to the other, "I don't think we are going to be able to outrun this bear". The other hunter says, "I'm not worried about the bear, I only have to outrun you"!

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), January 05, 2001

Answers

That one made me roar! Hilarious, but we're they out of bullets??? There was a story in our local paper about a deer hunter who got caught with his pants down. Ummm, he was answering a call from nature when he spotted a mountain lion stalking him. He was able to get 'em up and get his rifle in time to save his a**!

-- Nancy in CA (sonflower35@icqmail.com), January 05, 2001.

Nancy, that is too bad. He was it a perfect position to kiss it good- bye !!! :>)

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), January 05, 2001.

Why does a paranoid schizophrenic have a hard time shaving?

He doesn't trust the guy in the mirrow holding the razor.

(And oh, I have had a full beard for more than 20 years.)

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), January 05, 2001.

Hillbilly, what's so R about this joke. It's funny and innocent too.

-- marilyn (rainbow@ktis.net), January 05, 2001.

Hillbilly's already been "spoken to" about his "offensive" jokes (!) - perhaps he's just being cautious? I think it's hilarious! (The joke and the situation)

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 05, 2001.

Marilyn, I don't know how to rate a joke in this forum. No matter how it's rated someone here gets offended. So I'll rate them all R and check their I.D. Even the R rated jokes are checked by the warden. Hi warden!

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), January 05, 2001.

keep them coming.

-- renee oneill{md.} (oneillsr@home.com), January 05, 2001.

Please Keep the jokes comming, They ca really brighten up a day. Lisa in TX

-- Lisa In TX (wtxhomestead@safezone.net), January 06, 2001.

However you rate them, hillbilly, I'll still read them....and enjoy them.

-- Chelsea (rmbehr@istar.ca), January 09, 2001.