Red Nose Detected at North Pole

Updated: Tue, Dec 19 10:52 AM EST

CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN (Reuters) - Santa Claus is coming to town.

NORAD, the U.S.-Canadian North American Aerospace Defense Command that keeps watch on the skies to spot missiles approaching North America, said on Monday it is detecting unusual activity in the North Pole region.

NORAD analysts, highly trained and always on the alert in their mountain bunker, have concluded that the mysterious object is none other than the nose of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. "While such activity is not unusual for this time year, it does appear to be earlier than previously seen," NORAD said in a tongue-in-cheek report.

Because this is Santa's first trip in the new millennium he may be conducting additional tests on his delivery equipment, NORAD theorized.

Boys and girls, both naughty and nice, will be able to stay in touch with NORAD starting at 7 p.m. EST on Dec. 24 as it tracks Santa's ride on the worldwide web at http://www.noradsanta.org and on American Online keyword: Track Santa.

NORAD has been tracking Santa's trip since 1955 when a department store "Santa Hotline" telephone number advertised in a local newspaper turned out to be the "operations hotline" at NORAD's predecessor. Surprised military personnel started getting calls from six-year-olds who wanted to talk to Santa. The senior officer on duty, Col. Harry Shoup, explained to them that he was "helping" Santa -- and a tradition was born.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Answers

HOORAY!!!!! I love this time of year!!

(Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to be an "adult". But I never got that book that tells you how you're supposed to act at what age; I have an excuse. Nyahh.)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Patricia, if you've been drinking egg nog, you don't an excuse.

There's a commercial on around here for Toy City (?) where this penguin is dressed up like a raindeer and pretends that he can fly. Two other pengies try to persude him that he's a "squid-eating flightless bird." After the two pengies go away, mumbling that they have to keep the egg nog away for him, his nose lights up and he is able to rise several feet into the air.

I love that commercial.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Wish I could see that one -- sounds like one I'd love, too.

Reminds me of the character, Opus, from that now-defunct comic strip, Bloom County. He's a penguin and one year (four or five years ago?) they made a half-hour Christmas show out of it. It was called, A Wish For Wings That Work. His whole being was centered on FLYING. It was sweet.

Uh, no egg nog here; this is just *me* :-)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000