Christmas Is Coming
 
 
 
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
 ---------------------------------------------------
 
 SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
 
 MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
 
 DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
 
 NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
 
 MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores
 and Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
 
 PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
 
 PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna out,
 then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
 
 DEPRESSION - Silent anhedonia, Holy ahedonia.  All is calm, All is pretty
 lonely.
 
 OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
 Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
 Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
 Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
 Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
 Jingle Bell...
 
 BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
 
 PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
 (and then took it all away).
 
   The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner!
 
 Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the
 music.  -- George Carlin, sent in by Amy Sorrento
 
 The Four Stages Of Life
 --------------------------
  
 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
  
 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  
 3) You are Santa Claus.
  
 4) You look like Santa Claus.
  
 
 
 Conduct During the Holiday Season
 -----------------------------------
 Running aluminum foil through a paper shredder at Kinko's to make 
 tinsel is discouraged.
 
 Playing Jingle Bells on a neighbor's push-button phone during a 
 party is forbidden (It runs up an incredible long distance bill.)
 
 Chores and charitable requests are not to be filed under "Bah, Humbug."
 
 Rental cars are not to be used to go "over the river and through 
 the woods to Grandma's house."
 
 Endlessly singing "Frosty, the Snowman" under your breath at the 
 mall will result in "no presents" this year.
 
 All fruitcake is to be eaten before July 25, 2001.
 
 Laced Eggnog will not be secreted in Pepsi cans.
 
 ¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤
 
 
 
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 ¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø
 

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Answers

cpr...

you loser, this is a total waste of bandwidth...go away

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Whew, U.B.; I was going to post the "Christmas Carols" thing yesterday :-)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Patricia...

Just replying to cpr in a way that he can relate...

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Fuck you Uncle Bob.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

OM Gosh Cpr DOES have a since of humor...:-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

But OF COURSE I do. I always felt that morons like Hyatt, formerly scary Gary and YoreToast-ED were the BIGGEST JOKES GOING from 1997 to this day.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000