I've been feeling some need to consider a job change. I work full-time in a healthfood store, and although I've enjoyed it for the past 5 years, it really isn't bringing me any gratification lately. I wake up and don't want to go there. We've been very short on help for the past 6 months, I'm working too many hours, nothing I do gets done 100% because I'm spread so thin, and I'm frustrated as can be. I left work Monday morning in tears, sick with the flu (?) and spent the next 4 days with lots of time to think.

I've had a job offer to work in a half-way house. The pay is almost the same, the place is much closer to home, and the duties are much different. The job title is Public Safety Officer, or glorified babysitter. This place houses newly released inmates for a few months before they rejoin society. I think I would enjoy it, and I think I could help these folks.

Have any of you walked away from a decent job because of burn-out? Have any of you tried an extreme career change, and how did it turn out? I'm experiencing guilt over even considering this, how could I dream of bailing from a fine job?

My biggest dilemma may be the fact that I've made a plan, set down steps to take in achieving my life on my land in MO. What if I screw it all up? Gail (in MO) tells me they are building a prison not far from where I bought property. Do you think working in a half-way house would increase my chances of employment? Wow, I'm so grateful to have so many friends to help me with this. HELP MEEEE!!!!

-- Cathy in NY (hrnofplnty@yahoo.com), December 15, 2000

Answers

Cathy, one of the more enjoyable aspects of life is taking chances. If they work out, I think they usually do, you really have a personal achievement that allows you to be very proud. By the way, you are never too old to make big changes in your lifestyle. GO for it !!

Yes, I think the experience could help you when you make your move.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), December 15, 2000.

Cathy, One of the most rewarding jobs I've ever had was working with mentally handicapped people. I work (indefinite leave of absence right now) in a group home basically doing "babysitting". It's really no different than what I do at home but I hope what I do can make a difference in somebody's life. It does help to have people to work with that are easy to get along with because sometimes the work is pretty personal...bathing a 50yo male w/cerebral palsy. I get almost $10/hr before taxes. The company will usually train you and provide all CPR, First Aid, and whatever else classes they require.

This kind of job usually has a high turnover and people are needed most anywhere. In fact, 15 years ago, my dh and I were house parents to 13 mentally handicapped children in Carthage, MO. I think that helped me enjoy doing this now. It feels like worthwhile work. It too could help with prison work but probably not as much as a half way house would.

-- Heather (heathergorden@hotmail.com), December 15, 2000.

Cathy, about two years ago I walked away from a career I really loved and I had worked at for over 20 years. I left because I wasn't physically able anymore. I now have a great job making twice as much money and I sit down at a computer all the time. In ways it's great and in ways it's boring as hell compared to my last profession. But, I never look back and think about what I did. I just accept that it was what I had to/wanted to do.

I say go for it and, don't look back. Don't worry about "screwing it up". If things don't go right, just go on. Don't look back.

-- Joe (jcole@apha.com), December 15, 2000.

I say go for it. If you are burned out on your job, then you can't be happy in the rest of your life. I recently made a major change within the company. I spent 17 years in an engineering environment and got really tired of 4 blue walls and a blue screen. I took a voluntary demotion to go back out in the field, and now I don't mind coming to work at all.

One other factor; with 5 years experience in your current field, you shouldn't have any trouble getting back into it if you wanted to.

-- Dan G. (stagecoach@hotmail.com), December 15, 2000.

Cathy, follow your dream! (Or in the meantime, your daydream?)

I just went back to school for 45 credits to get my certificate for Medical Transcription. I have a Bachelors Degree and 30 years of solid, up-to-date employable job skills. So what? I want to work at home in the hopefully not too distant future. I may have a few years to do this gig before everything goes totally voice recognition. So I have a back-up plan. But for now, this is it!

I have walked away from a lot of jobs. (Once my husband and I quit our jobs on the exact same day and went camping for three weeks in California...came back completely broke, but happy. We were totally burnt out.) I have sold lumber and paint, done demos in stores, done interior design professionally, planned merchandise assortments for big retailers, sold cosmetics, done corporate research, been a day- care worker, sold paint, worked on computer systems, taught at a private art school, taught at a voc-tech college, bought apparel, other stuff, too, and raised sheep. All but the latter were just jobs! Raising sheep is my love. (I will say that all but the latter actually paid me something! lol...)I am lucky that there's a lot of options within 50 miles of here. But I won't commute anymore and I want to spend most of my time at home! After all, that's why I did all those things in order to make money!

Do whatever you want. Life is so short, and you never know when it will be over. If you can dream it, you can be it. Take care of yourself and don't hurt anyone in the process, and you should be just fine. Good luck!

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), December 15, 2000.

I say if your gut feeling tells you to go, then GO! Everything else WILL fall into place! Yes, I've done it.. no, I didn't starve. Good luck. Burnout is always a big red flag flappin' in your face!

Sheepish.. I was sort of looking into doing some at-home medical transcription, too, in the future. I'm a tumor registrar & I've recently found out I can do that type of work at home on-line also. Things are looking up for at-home jobs out in the boonies! dh in nm

-- debra in nm (dhaden@nmtr.unm.edu), December 15, 2000.

Debra, cool! I think e-commerce and the other internet communication will permit people to live all over the place. Maybe that will help our population distribution problems! However, I think it will be an interesting cultural experiment to see how it all works out when progressive urbanites move to the conservative countryside. Which ones will adapt first, do ya think?? ;)

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), December 15, 2000.

Cathy, I think a job change can be a great new start. A breath of fresh air so to speak. Hated to here that you may go to work at a half-way house. Having been employed by the Dept. of Corrections and by other law enforcement agencies, don't go into your job with lots of high expectations. You won't be able to help most and you'll be able to change (reform) even fewer. Most of the "residents" will tell you that they are not criminals, they are victims. Your eyes will be opened to a whole different type of society. Be careful, be cautious, and listen with your head and not your heart. I know of many people in this town of 10,000 who have donated time, money and of themselves to help "residents", only to find that they were being lied to and taken for a ride. I'm sure there are a few deserving people who really need a hand, but I'm also sure that most of them are on the outside of the fence and not on the inside. Don't want everyone to think I'm negative on "correctional institutions" but after sixteen years, I've had the experience to see a lot. The only good thing that I discovered behing the wall, was a copy of Helen and Scott Nearings "living the Good Life." It change mine. My homestead is almmost ready for my retirement in seven years. I'm ready to move to the country and be snowed in instead of being "locked-in".

-- brent in Missouri (trainguy50@hotmail.com), December 15, 2000.

Go for it girl!! I did the same exact thing - finally just switched jobs a few weeks ago when I realized how much stress (physical and mental) my other job was, plus a long commute. Thought I should stay in the other job b/c it paid more and I'm saving for my land! (Alright, are you my twin or what?! - We seem to go through the same things at about the same time!). Moved to my new job the week of Thanksgiving. So far I have really enjoyed it. I also like the challenge of learning a new job. If you eventually want to work in the prison, the halfway house would be a great place to "try out" that population. It is definitely different working with them - I spent several years working with both juvenile and adult criminals, and loved it. Sometimes we get so trapped living for the future we forget to live for today - do what is in your heart. - Julia

-- Julia in Tally (tofubiscuit@excite.com), December 15, 2000.

I've been waiting for Lesley to join this thread but I'll have to write this first. You said "I feel I can help them"---I would like you to reconsider that statement very carefully !! I by no means wish to step on your deliberation of this job. I just want to offer some insight on what it is like. You cannot help them until they help themselves.

First and foremost, You can NEVER be their friend. The institution will not allow it and to be blunt--you are their enemy to start out with. If they speak at all with you it is a game to achieve something they desire. Convicts are the worlds best con artists. They have only wants, as their basic needs are supplied by the state. Second, You are a woman. I'm no chauvanist, however this puts you in an even more vunerable light in their eyes ! Extremely vunerable ! I think your first nickname would be "The Mark "

I teach G.E.D. math for inmates. They always want something--Money, stamps, paper, pencils or legal advice. I offer them a way out and it is in the form of education. I have nothing else to give-NOTHING ! I never discuss family,friends,news or even farming with them. "It's math boys, take it or leave it, sleep or learn, it makes no difference to me. Either way I'm here for the whole hour" !

I have never seen one of my students in the real world. So, as you can see, there is no gradification. I never know if I taught them anything. If it is satifaction or fulfillment that you seek than I strongly advise against this occupation. You will hear every horror story devised by man and it takes a cold, cold heart to endure it. If you aren't hard as steel going in, than you'll either become that way or be eaten alive by it. Never ever let them see you sweat, never ever back down, and never give them anything. Your in their world and you better be as tough as they are.

Can you do it ? I'm sure you can with a little practice, but I'm not sure you want it for the right reasons. Why do I do it ? Funny thing, God ask me to and who am I to say no to God ! Good Luck, Cathy !

-- Joel Rosen (Joel681@webtv.net), December 16, 2000.

Thank you, everyone, for taking time to answer my plea for advise. I really want to hear the negatives as well as positives, because I need to go into this with eyes wide open. Joel, I'm not sure if I'm hearing you correctly....if you are saying that I may not be doing this for the right reason, as this isn't something I've dreamed of doing my whole life, you are right. If you're perhaps thinking I feel as though I can "fix" or "save" these folks, I know that's not going to be the case. This is a very small facility, they house 10, max. They are required to work 40 hrs., and pay a percentage to live there. All are petty drug busts, released early on good behavior. I have extensive personal experience with addiction, that is what makes me think I'd be good at it. I think that I could find a number of jobs that would hire me, probably within a week, none of which appeal to me. (As for my remark about the new prison in MO., that was only a "hmmm, I wonder...)

I had a heart to heart with my boss yesterday, and pleaded (again) with him to hire another person. If nothing changes, I really feel that I need to leave, or I'll make myself sick from the stress. Well, I'm submitting an application and having the background check done, and they don't anticipate a full-time opening until mid-spring, so I'm not going to make a hasty decision. Thanks, All.

-- Cathy in NY (hrnofplnty@yahoo.com), December 16, 2000.

Well the best thing that you can do is follow your heart. After being there and doing it once myself. I walked away a good job and shut down my business when the time came when became to much. Its just that I was burned out and needed out of the rat race. The average work week was 100+ hours. It was the best thing that I ever did. It did not work out for the Mrs. But it would have ended sooner if we did not move. And would do it over again if able to travel back in time. And as for the work it should more helpful than store worker on the resume.

-- Anthony J. DiDonato (didonato@vvm.com), December 16, 2000.

Becoming sick from stress pretty much precludes you being able to enjoy ( or even function on) that homestead, no? I left a very lucrative career of 11 years to spend one, maybe two, years as a member of Americorp (read - living allowance and moderate educational award only), mainly due to burn out, but also due to injuries that were fob related. My husband's job supports us while my allowance pays off a loan ($1000) and goes into savings. It's tough. It also easier than spending another day dragging myself to a job that I used to love but now find uninspiring and tedious. I would rather eat out of a dumpster and trade in cans for cash than spend my life drudging for bucks. This isn't a dress rehersal. You don't do what you want now, you ain' getting another try.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), December 16, 2000.

Well, it will be a paycheck and nothing more ! If you wish to wake up every morning with the thought--"will I be killed today" or "will I have to kill someone today" than this is the job for you. It seems to me that it is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire !

It is a far stretch of the imagination to relieve stress by going to a place where every moment could be your last. In reality there is no such thing as a first time offender. There is no such thing as a non-violent crime. While it is true that they may be only "drug offenders" going in---they are hard core men leaving. They just spent X amount of time fighting for every breath they take. Make no mistake, anyone one of them could cut your throat, leave you dying on the floor and never for one minute even consider your life had one ounce of worth. The number of men who leave prison and never return is minute to say the least.

I said "the right reasons" and that meant--forced to do it no other options ! It meant-- I either do this or I starve. I guess I read into you letter the word fullfillment an I just thought I should warn you that unless you enjoy taking liberties away from man and beast that there is none to be found in this occupation.

You said "I know something about addiction" and that will help. You than realize there is no help for an addict until he/she help themselves. No one ever helped an addict ! They helped themselves or died an addict. It seems to me, You should at least try going behind the walls for a week as a volunteer before you leap into it. I'm not saying you won't like it ! I just want you to realize what it is going in. It takes a special breed of animal to manage animals. (sorry, just a little jailhouse joke)

-- Joel Rosen (Joel681@webtv.net), December 17, 2000.

Sometimes you have to rock back on your haunches,take a pause,before you can launch yourself forward wholeheartedly once again. Burn-out,for me, is a signal that I need to step back to re-evaluate my priorities,goals and values...perhaps change my course or simply back out of a couple of situations that aren't working or are creating too much negativity for me to handle. Reaching an inner balance is essential for my health as well as state of mind as I'm sure it is for another person. At all costs one should listen to their own intuition regarding choices.That person "knows" inside of themself what is the path to take. The very fact that you know you are burned out is a good sign that you are in tune with your own intuition-why not trust it when it tells you about something else? My mantra the past year(and should remain to be): THE GREATEST RISK IN LIFE IS NOT TAKING ONE"... Joel Rosen does raise very valid points regarding the dangers of hard-core convicts and the real threat associated with the working one-to-one with people who were convicted of a crime(no matter what it is).I suggest an internal evaluation as it would help you to discover what it is you'd hope to achieve from such a job. Could it be possible that you could do as Joel has suggested and give it a trial period while on leave from your present job? I know all too well the insecurities/doubts associated with trying to decide whether to leave a decent job for something uncertain...I am gradually phasing the one into a more prevalent niche of my life.Therefore it is evolving at a pace I feel comfortable/confident with. I hope I've helped you gain more confidenc in trusting your own intuition/"gut feeling" on this career change dilemma you are facing. As with most anything we face in life,everything is multi-faceted...the pros and cons must be carefully considered.But ultimately it is our own ability,experience and heartfelt calling that will dictate what choices we make. I would like to add that my parents are actively involved in a jail ministry in Illinois.My dad is a chaplin.Both he and my mom are involved in prayer groups and Bible study groups with the prisoners.I feel that the humanity of these people,hardened though they may be,should be foremost,while the threat is there it should not be a deterent in doing what you are called to do. Could it be that you feel the same?

-- Tammy S. South (w-feather40@webtv.net), December 20, 2000.

Cathy,I'm late getting in on "HELP"ing but would like to give some counsel. The most important thing you can do in any decision,any turn you take, any parking spot you pick, any money you spend,any word you speak-is to get on your knees! The Lord God knows how frightened you are. He knows what career changes are like-hey,he left a perfectly good,established carpentry buisness to become my Savior! Here's a few scripture verses to get you started in your equally as important Bible search before you decide anything at all.Proverbs 20:18.Prov.20:24.Proverbs 3:5,6. Please,please take this counsel and put it into action. "Every good and perfect gift(job)is from the Lord." My husband left a good position to join the army at 32 with 3 kids and me. Then he left the army,used the GI bill and went to nursing school.God has honored our calloused knees and allowed him to have a wonderful job,a real house of our own and enough grace to lead a life for HIM. He's really a savior who cares about every thing we want and need! Have a great journey! In Messiah's name,Q. P.S.If by chance you've already made a move before this step it's not too late! Search for His wisdom now,He'll never hide it from you.o)

-- queen (queenbuffness@hotmail.com), December 20, 2000.

Cathy I am retired from the Federal Bureau of prisons. I have worked just about every type of institution they have. Also I know a little about half-way houses. The half-way house you mentioned, is it Federal or State?

-- Nick (wildheart@ekyol.com), December 20, 2000.

Nick, the facility is Federal, farmed out to the VOA on a 5 year contract. Life sure is funny. I guess my boss could tell how serious I was, because he hired a lovely young girl, full-time, she started today! And, I get home from work at 5pm, and there is a message on my machine from the director of the half-way house....looks like there is a position opening immediately. I'll let you know what happens next! Thanks again for all the feedback, you are better than family. I love this forum!!!

-- Cathy in NY (hrnofplnty@yahoo.com), December 20, 2000.

Since it is Federal I would say it would be a good position to try for. They will supply training and there is always a way to move to a higher position. There are lots of women working in the Federal system and you would be in good working conditions. Use common sense and when in doubt ask your supervisor what to do. The halfway house could lead to a better job because of on the job experience you will gain. Are you going to be anywhere near Springfield MO.? Is the new prison Federal or State? I worked at the Federal Medical Center for Federal Prisoners at Springfield MO. back in the 70's. It was a good place to work.

-- Nick (wildheart@ekyol.com), December 20, 2000.