Don't squat with your spurs on.

Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Never ask a man the size of his spread.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

And finally always remember that "Actions have Consequences"

Have a great day. Its 26 degrees, cloudy and looks like rain here in NC

-- Kenneth in N.C. (wizardsplace13@hotmail.com), December 13, 2000

Answers

If someone offers you a breathmint, take it. It's 23* and snowing anywhere from 3-10 (depdending on who you listen to) inches in SE Indiana.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), December 13, 2000.

Ya never know which way a pickle will squirt!!!! It is 10 degrees & we have about 6 inches of snow & it still is snowing!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), December 13, 2000.

It just started snowing here about an hour ago. We're in southwest Ohio (about an hour northeast of Cinti.)The official temp. at the airport is 28 degrees, but my thermometer says closer to 20.

-- Denise (jphammock@msn.com), December 13, 2000.

Sorry Ken, don't have a cute comeback...

...but I think people are getting serious here in Northeastern Ohio about winter. It's in the high teens with more wintry blasts on the way. The sleighs are coming out of the barns, getting spruced up, sleigh bells all bright and polished and jingly. What a fun way to get a Christmas tree, riding on a sleigh being pulled by two draft horses, with a mug of hot chocolate in hand and all eyes on the lookout for the "perfect" tree.

(:raig

-- Craig Miller (CMiller@ssd.com), December 13, 2000.

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. 18 degrees, sunny and crisp in Flagstaff! Blessings, Sissy

-- sissy sylvester-barth (jerreleene@hotmail.com), December 13, 2000.

Hi, Ken!!! It's a beautiful day in our neighborhood. Schools in Brown Co. Indiana closed down early, and we had to brush 4 or 5 inches off our cars and creep on home about 1:30 pm. Highways covering over again after being plowed, and cars off the road. I made it home and feed the wood stove, and am getting ready to make a big ole' pot of chicken soup--maybe with homemade noodles. Hmmm.... We're supposed to get 6 to ten inches here. There are several county roads closed, and state police were discussing closing down one well used section of state highway. After several very mild winters, we're due for a nasty one. Hey, look at the bright side. Think about how many bugs are getting killed off! Maybe the cold will cut into the Japanese beetle or squash bug ppopulation....!!!!!

-- Leann Banta (thelionandlamb@hotmail.com), December 13, 2000.

Craig, what a beautiful picture you have painted! Ahh, lovely!

Cold, cold, cold here. About 6" of snow so far and still coming down hard. Love it, love it! Missouri reporting in.

-- Wendy@GraceAcres (wjl7@hotmail.com), December 13, 2000.

Thanks I needed a laugh .Northern NY is now 18 degrees up from -20 last night .Roads are still ice and probally will be til spring .Snow is in the forcast til next week.

-- Patty (fodfarms@slic.com), December 13, 2000.

Don't spit into the wind. Don't eat the yellow snow. It is snowing here. Got about 6 inches so far. I've lost track of my children but I'm fairly sure they are still somewhere in the area as I hear my daughter squeel occasionally and I see mounds of snow moving from time to time. Think I'll enjoy putting another log on the fire....made sure we have plenty on the porch....and fix another mug of hot chocolate. I'm in south central Missouri.

-- Amanda in Mo (aseley@townsqr.com), December 13, 2000.

" Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone..." Ella Wheeler Wilcox. 24 degrees and freezing rain just started here in southeast West Virginia. 5:50pm. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

-- Terri Perry (teperry@stargate.net), December 13, 2000.

Hmmm. Cute. Unfortunatly, it's too cold here to think straight. It was 5 degrees when I fed the stock yesterday morning. Got just a couple inches of snow, which is more, I think than we got all year last year, so it's a bonus! Supposed to warm up to 40 or so this weekend. Have to get out the lawn chairs and the bar be que! Happy holidays! Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), December 13, 2000.

Leann, isn't it always beautiful in Brown Co. In. Well, we only got a couple inches of snow so far, but we're getting more than our share of freezing rain.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), December 13, 2000.

It's better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Ever person I know brightens up the room. Some by entering, some by leaving.

Opinions are like asses. Everybody has one, but you don't want to see yours in the paper.

COLD! Bitter. Calling for ice storms tonight. Oh goodie! (dripping sarcasm)

-- John D in Pa (mrmopar@penn.com), December 13, 2000.

Here are some gardening and woods lore.

Pick snow peas when the peas are the size of fairy thimbles.

Plant by the dark of the moon,foods that grow underground,by the light if the moon those that grow above ground.

Hunt for dryland fish (morels) when oak leaves are the size of squirrel ears.

Moss forms on the north side of trees,for determining direction.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), December 14, 2000.

Here is one of my favorites, A coward dies a thousand deaths,A hero only one.It is about 55 degrees here, cold and wet and my oranges are almost ripe! In another week I will be drowning in them.

-- kathy h (ckhart55@earthlink.net), December 14, 2000.

Looks like we've got five or six inches of lovely white stuff -- puppy isn't sure if he likes snow or not -- Juniper was all excited when she got up and played outside for a long time, until I called her in for breakfast. She hasn't played outside for a long time. (For those of you who don't know, she's autistic and twenty -- and prefers playing in her room. I encourage this in the summer as she also has vitiligo and sunburns very easily.) Now she wants to get her snowshoes on and go out, but I'll have to go with her and have other things to do (I shouldn't still be on the computer!) so the snowshoes will have to wait until later. And later I will have to shovel my car out so I can get to work, sigh!!

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), December 14, 2000.

Well we got freezing rain no snow. :( Heres a one from the Teen commandments. (my grandmother made me remember this one)

Choose your friends wisely, You become what they are.

-- Kenneth in N.C. (wizardsplace13@hotmail.com), December 14, 2000.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose

-- (trigger@mcn.net), December 14, 2000.

"There's never been a horse that couldn't be rode, and there's never been a rider who couldn't be throw'd", sage words of wisdom my Dad told me often as a youngster, and a not so youngster. Annie in SE OH.

-- Annie Miller (annie@1st.net), December 15, 2000.

He who walks with fools treads a fool's path.

-- snoozy (allen@oz.net), December 15, 2000.

From my mother: He who farts in church must sit in his own pew (piiieww)!

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), December 16, 2000.