Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job. So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused; They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards! They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000

Answers

Cute, Earthmama, very cute. (Wanna bet a dime SOMEONE will be offended, though?)Not me, I thought it was cute. Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), December 09, 2000.

Tee-hee, Earthmamma, I thought it was cute too, but then I appreciate just about any type joke, have a broad sense of humor I guess! Annie in SE OH.

-- Annie Miller (annie@1st.net), December 10, 2000.

Along the same lines:

Jesus and Moses were out fishing when they got to talking about if they still had their old powers. Finally they decided to settle it. Moses stood up, rapped his shaft on the boat bottom and the sea parted, leaving them on the seabed. He rapped his shaft again and the sea filled back in. Not to be out done, Jesus stepped out of the boat to walk on water and immediately sank. Moses asked what happened. Jesus said, "I forgot the last time I did this I didn't have holes in my feet."

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), December 10, 2000.

I agree Jan, bet it will tighten the jaws of the "holy trinity" on this site.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), December 10, 2000.

Amen.

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), December 10, 2000.

OK-another one.Jesus & Moses & an old man were golfing. Moses went first.He swung and hit that golf ball,and it headed straight for the water.The water parted,and that ball went right on thru and landed close to the hole.

Jesus stepped up,swung,and it headed the same way.The ball just skipped across the water, and landed even closer to the hole.

So now it was the old man's turn .He sighed.He shook his head,but stepped up,and swung.That ball veered way up and over to the right,bouncing off a tree.When it landed a squirrel picked it up and started heading for the tree.An eagle was flying by and swooped down and grabbed that squirrel,taking off with it.The squirrel dropped the ball,it took a couple of bounces, and low and behold, it was a hole in one.

Well Jesus just looks over at the old man, shakes his head in amazement, and says "Nice shot, DAD"

An oldie but a goodie.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), December 10, 2000.

Printing them out now! Already emailed em on. I love this forum.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), December 10, 2000.