Early one spring morning, standing high upon a hill side, stood a berch tree and a beech tree.

One morning early the berch tree wakes up the beech tree and says,"Look down there, that sapling, that's a berch sapling". The beech tree say's, "No, that's a beech sapling".

They argued day and night.

One day a woodpecker lands in the beech tree and the berch tree say's, "Hay woodpecker, We've been having this argument about that sapling way down there in that hollar, How say you fly down there and check it out"? "Sure thing",the woodpecker responds, and off he goes.

A while latter the woodpecker flies back and lands in the berch tree. The berch tree say's, "It was a berch sapling wasn,t it"? The woodpecker was shaking his head no, when the beech tree say's "I told you it was a beech sapling".

"No" say's the woodpecker, "It isn't the son of a berch, and it isn't the son of a beech, but that was the best piece of ashe I ever had my pecker in".

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), December 08, 2000

Answers

Funny joke Hillbilly! When you posted it might be offensive I clicked on it right away!!....Kirk

-- Kirk Davis (kirkay@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000.

Hilly Billy of all the jokes in this world & all the things that could be posted-----why ----I am asking/ if you felt it could be offensive to some/(or anyone) did you bother to post it, at all??????? This is a Family Forum!!! And I have a real hard time understanding/ WHY such things are important enough to be posted --if someone feels some one else COULD be offended by it?????????? Aren't there thousands of other things that our time / & forum space could be used for??????? That is just a question???? I would truely like to understand!!!!! I have a sense of humor--but why post something you felt would/ or could offend someone(or anyone) ---if you have children/or grandchildren --would you want them to read this joke??????---- Just questions I have???????? I respect your right to do as you please---(post anything you want to post)but I also have a right to ask you the questions I did----do you see where I'm comming from??????? I truely need to know where you are comming from!!!!! As I think this kind of post hurts our FAMILY FORUM! That is my opinion-- I need to know yours--as I truely will respect your opioion/ I just don't understand /without you explaining to me /why you bothered to post anything that is /or could be offensive on a Family forum!! Thanks Hillybilly!!!!! I hate to read on any post----this could be offensive----what a true negative statement/to start a post!!!! I didn't learn a thing from this joke/ nor did I think it was funny--& I have a pretty good sense of humor-----try a clean one next time---- probably won't offend any one!!!! I think a joke once in a while can't hurt our FAMILY forum--but my opinion is/ we should stick to clean ones that won't offend ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!! Just my opinion-- Thanks for respecting my thoughts---I would like to hear your opinion- -I may not agree with you--but I certainly will respect your opinion!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), December 09, 2000.

BIRCH BIRCH BIRCH the proper spelling is BIRCH tree.

-- Ed Copp (OH) (edcopp@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000.

Sondra-why are you here? It was clearly marked! Purient interest? Stirring up the cauldron? What?

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), December 09, 2000.

Well excuuuuuuusssse me. It was my joke, and after reading most of the stiff threads, I figured some of us could use a laugh. I would certainly share my joke with my children if I had any. Sometimes you act like family and sometimes you don't. I've read far worse material here at this forum.

Surely your children don't learn from your example. There was a warning and you entered. A typical liberal. Your no different than those people who cant read warning signs on cigaretts. etc.etc.etc.

I bet you'd walk up to a lite socket and put your finger in, even though there was a sign there telling you, Danger. Don't blame me for your insecurety. Oh, wait you must be from Florida?

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), December 09, 2000.

Well excuuuuuuusssse me. It was my joke, and after reading most of the stiff threads, I figured some of us could use a laugh. I would certainly share my joke with my children if I had any. Sometimes you act like family and sometimes you don't. I've read far worse material here at this forum.

Surely your children don't learn from your example. There was a warning and you entered. A typical liberal. Your no different than those people who cant read warning signs on cigaretts. etc.etc.etc.

I bet you'd walk up to a lite socket and put your finger in it, even though there was a sign there telling you," Danger." Don't blame me for your insecurety. Oh, wait you must be from Florida?

Sorry about the spelling.

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), December 09, 2000.

I have to agree with hillbilly . It was posted as 'might be offensive . So just don't read it, or did your finger just happen to slip and click on the mouse? Every once in a while you have to let loose and a good dirty joke is one of the best ways. "just my opinion" sherry

-- sherry (Calfarm@msn.com), December 09, 2000.

I agree with Ed, you silly sons-a-birches.

-- queenbuffness (queenbuffness@hotmail.com), December 09, 2000.

Hillbilly, Don't let them offend YOU! It could only be offensive if taken out of context. My goodness, what was that woman thinking?

-- Terri Perry (teperry@stargate.net), December 09, 2000.

sheeeesh.......although I didnt fall on the floor laughin at your little story........(think perchance kinda a guy kinda joke...).........is kinda sad how some people get so dern agitated.... Methinks, dear Hillbilly, you were tryin to provoke the easily provokable??? :) and it aint hard, is it? :0

I also think its pretty clear that our culture doesnt deal with anything remotely sexual in a very healthy way....(my judgement call,,,,I know....) ....variations on a theme,and leftovers from.....our puritan heritage incorporated into American culture.....

too sad....but there is always hope of openess, acceptance,and,,,um....r.e.l.a.x.a.t.i.o.n........

mellow out.......

and remember.....that which annoys you the most........is speaking to you personally the loudest.....

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), December 09, 2000.

Earthmamma, well said ! You had the courage to voice exactly what I was thinking also, Americans are WAY too Puritanical in their sexual expressions and thinking! The joke was only a pun, something the Brits are very good at, and all enjoy, especially the Queen mother herself, we Americans need to realize that sex is a natural part of life, and to accept it as such with less artificial restraints imposed upon it. Perhaps there would be far less crimes of violent sexual nature, and a lot less teen age pregnancy, if sex was considered an everyday function that could be talked about, and discussed openly in "polite society". Annie in SE OH.

-- Annie Miller (annie@1st.net), December 10, 2000.

Funny - or rather cute .

Now does anyone have a child that reads this forum?? I would be very surprised if a child would find interest here. Earthmama you are so right. As an american living in Europe I suffer from my puritan upbringing - a lot of americans have a bunch of kids but never talk about sex - is this why everyone is having so many kids?? It is really sad that someone can think that anything to do with the word sex is considered rude. ...... most of us are doing it so why not have the space to talk and joke about it??

-- kelly (kellytree@hotmail.com), December 10, 2000.

t Unless you are standing ontop of your chid when he or she is at this country side site then you have no way of knowing what their looking at, for example, click on top of this forum under lucent, and go explore what your kids are really talking about. Jeez, I can't believe people think their kids lack curiosity, just like you did when you came here to look.

Oh, and buy the way this joke was a pun, it was your thinking that got you into trouble.

I didn't think I'd get much responce, I thought a lot of people would tread here but leave undetected, which is ok, it's good to be curious.

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), December 10, 2000.

Hillbilly, Thanks for the chuckle and being considerate enough to label the post so that I could open it when my son wasn't around. True , it could be offensive to some, but thats what the thread labels are helping us to avoid. Also, if you have something that you think may be offensive, you can always email it to the forum participants that you know would take it in the way intended without taking offense. Thanks again for labeling the thread, and I don't mind at all being on your email list if you decide to share the more contoversial ones that way.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), December 10, 2000.

Hillbilly, Thanks for pointing the lusenet thing out. On its worse days, this forum is tame as a kitten to some of the others just "around the corner".

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), December 10, 2000.

Jay, I kinda like that young nakid german broad that shows up from time to time at the bottom of this forum.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), December 10, 2000.

Let's see.....country forum....as in farming....as in barnyard animals....as in livestock procreating.....and we can't share a joke like this one??!! Give me a break!

Hillbilly, I LOVED this joke! Am cutting and pasting and sharing it with friends! I have one friend in particular who just lives for cornball jokes like these, would love to see his face when he reads this one!

-- Chelsea (rmbehr@istar.ca), December 10, 2000.

Good Heavens! Sonda - where in South Florida is KS? Could it be "K"iss gore's ***"S"? Get a life!

-- Brad (homefixer@SacoRiver.net), December 11, 2000.

I read the joke, even so it was labeled the way it was, because sometimes you come across a good one. This one was allright. And even so I do agree with you all about loosening up a bit, and being more open about human sexuality, I thought some of you were simply rude the way you jumped down Sondas throat. I'm definitely no prude, and not american either (german actually, never seen the german lady on the bottom of the page, though)but I do believe in being polite, even if I have a different opinion.Does that make me a liberal? I would have voted for Gore, if I could. (oh my god) So to sum it all up even though I agreed with what was said, I didn't like the tone of voice. And if this offends the ones that put in those answers, hey this thread is labeled as might be offensive. Karin

-- karin morey (www.wind_crest@hotmail.com), December 12, 2000.

Beech! Beech! Beech! Did you know that the beech tree (Fagus of the family Fagaceae, the beech family) is a "hardwood tree with smooth gray bark and small edible nuts"...oops, I bet this is going to be offensive to somebody. Well, look it up in a dictionary! But be careful, there are WORDS in there that you might not want your children to read. This is a very funny message board. This is my first visit, but it won't be my last! Hillbilly: I could have told another one about two woodpeckers in a pecking contest but...

-- Diane (soccerdude@earthlink.com), December 13, 2000.

Great funny hillbilly. Ignore the tirade of on $hit stirrer. Some people have nothing better to do then b*t*h and whine just to get attention.

-- muggz (myassis.dragon@mail.com), November 06, 2001.