Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand? If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out! I will not let this vote count stand, I do not like them, ALGore I am!

Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean Dubya has won? That is not fair! It ruins my fun! Let's count them upside down this time Let's count until the state is mine! I will not let THIS vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit! You have not heard the last of it! I'll count the ballots one by one And hold each up before the sun! I'll count, recount, and count some more! You'll grow to like this little chore! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

I won't leave office, stayin' here. I've glued my desk chair to my rear! Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too, Are telling me that I should SUE! "We find the Electoral College vile! Recount the votes until WE smile! We do not want this vote to stand! We do not LIKE it, AlGore-I-am!

" How shall we count THIS ballot box? Let's count it standling in our socks! Shall we count this one in a tree? And who shall count it, you or me? We cannot, cannot count enough! We must not stop, we must be tough! I do not want this vote to stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am!

I've counted till my fingers bleed and still can't fufill my counting need. I'll count the tiles on the floor and even count the ones next door! And I will not say I am done until the counting says I've WON! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am!

What's that? What? What's that you say? You think the current count should....STAY????? You do not like my counting scheme? It makes you tense? Gives you bad dreams? Foolish folks, you're wrong, you'll see! Your only care should be for ME! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, and AlGore I am!



-- Anonymous, November 17, 2000

Answers

My gut instinct is that Gore is going to be out of a job soon. Maybe he could do a guest appearance on Sesame Street. He could do a skit with the count. 'Vone Two, Tree, HAHAHAHAHAH.'

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Can we count them in the bath? Can we use our fuzzy math? Can we count them on our head, with special interests in our bed?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

You know, if you could polish this up and get it illustrated by a good Dr. Suess style illustrator, and get everything done in about a week before the issue is resvlved and last-minute Christmas shopppers have bought their gifts, you might be able to make some real money with this concept.

You'd have to polish up the poetry and give it that real Dr. Seuss ring. John Wilsons lines were good because they had simpler language and talked about different places, like Seuss's books. If you could use simple words, give it that Seuss ring, get a good illustrator, and call yourself 'Dr. Sass,' and get it on the book shelves before the issue is resolved, you'd have something marketable, imo.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Someone else had a similar idea: A funny pic I found at Jokewallpaper.com

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000