I'm sure we've all come to a crossroads in a relationship, friendly, romantic or otherwise, when a trust issue arises. Do you make the leap of faith more often than not? What needs to happen for you to feel that you can truly trust someone?

-- Raphael (grebq@yahoo.com), October 03, 2000

Answers

i used to make the leap too often without thought. more than once it has come back to haunt me. so now i trust no one and am learning to be cautious. i guess i can't really answer the second part--for me, it's more like, what has to happen for me to NOT trust someone. bleh. i'm a mess. i know.

-- daniela (daniela@imbroglio.net), October 04, 2000.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Relationship means trust. If you are going to make a commitment to someone, you both have to trust each other fully. If there is a bit of doubt or if your partner is holding back, then forget it, go find yourself someone else, because once a person holds back on something, they have serious issues with trust and they will always hold back. That kind of person normally has to be prodded to share what's inside cause they've been burnt before by some jerk and they can't seem to let go of what happened to them. I stay away from secretive people, I don't want to be a therapist outside my professional life, I don't need that kind of high maintenance relationship for myself. As far as just basic friendship goes, same thing; those that have trouble with trust are on my acquaintance list, not my friendship list. Sorry to be bitter about this, but I have seen too many relationships and friendships end because of lack of trust, due to people's past experiences. If you can't seem to shake your past, make an appointment to see a professional that can help you sort out what's tormenting you. Know what I mean?

-- Shira E. (eviljewess@yahoo.com), October 05, 2000.